ALL BLOG POSTS 2006

 Monday, January 09, 2006
Hi Im Ford and Im Chevy.We like to replicate cars that once didn't suck like the ones now made
Current mood:annoyedangryfrustratedbleh
Category: Blogging
You know sometimes I guess you all wonder why Im always complaining. Trust me things like this do make you feel very angry,annoyed,aggravated,and so many other words I will choose not to use. It's pathetic. You know I been meaning to write this Blog Oh how I lusted over this dam topic many a days. Yep many a days. Sounds dumb,but I like it. But I have forgot the topic and I have let it slide.....OH BUT TODAY WE CAN'T LET IT SLIDE! A 2006 Camaro ? Wait hold on you mean those beautiful cars from back when ? Yes those loving beautys. Once I even owned an 85 Camaro,but see the thing is from the picture I have gathered this much information...IT LOOKS LIKE CRAP! On the other hand it does look better then those Camaro's  made in the late 90's bleh. Listen this topic isn't really about the Camaro...Oh sure it's the Camaro that sparked it,but see when I was growing up I remember some solid made vehicles. Cars that you dare not try to hit with your fist. Cars that surely looked bad ass. Now though there is some nice cars out there I can admit to that,but GEEES! More terrible then what used to be out there and you can't top an old muscle car. YOU CAN'T! You can't top some of those old classic cars either YOU CAN'T. Now I thank you car makers for reviving the past @ times. Replicating older models. Trying to make new vehicles look like something that LOOKED GOOD! But when will you all GET UP OFF YOUR UNCREATIVE BUTTS AND GET TO MAKING A SPARK IN CAR REVOLUTION! I mean what I see floating around never gets me a tickled. Nope not nearly like those old loving hot rods and those old loving muscle cars. Maybe Im just old,but then again I love cars that was made even before my time. You ask me anything in my time sucks and those that do look good it's only that. I mean some look good and some are very hot,but those that are hot come @ a dime a dozen you know. I just wish someone would stop looking to the past and look to the future. Give me something that makes me go dam that looks good. If you feel you need examples. I'll be glad to redo this topic with pictures of what looks like crap and what used to rock. NO SERIOUSLY! Cars today just don't have what it takes and they suck so much the makers have to look to the grandfathers of cars who made REAL CARS! Then they try to replicate them only making it look half ass. Like the new mustang. It's a nice car. Alot nicer then the late 90's version. Well I'll stop repeating myself. Enjoy.
Oh yea Im listening to Glen Lentz...This dude can play.Check him out in my pro. Shouldn't Myspace have their band space bands in their search ....Hmmm
Oh Im more then annoyed btw
3:37 PM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Terry Goodkind doesn't wish to make Sword of Truth movies thats fine with me!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Sot movies ? (Sword of Truth)Yes thats fine with me. Especially games,or any other market. Honestly to percieve these books as movies is a great idea,but Hollywood and or any type of movie making company. Would strip and rewrite and terribly make this into a bad idea. On the other hand to "imagine" this as a movie. Wow it would be great. But not in this lifetime it could never work. It would surely blow Lotr out of the water. (lord of the rings) My honest opinion is that Lotr is boring in comparison to Sot. I mean Terry brings these characters to life like no other. Now Im being judgemental because I never read lot books. But I have seen the movies and there just wasn't any depth any power. Not compared to Terry. I mean a book based on a ring...Ooo,but thats cool. I mean I loved the movie. Don't get on my case over it. Im just pointing out that those books can't beat Terrys books by any means. Not im my opinon. Terry writes with such strong emotion. Such power. That just can't be displayed in books like Lotr. Terry brings to the table alot of books to. This doesn't end on book three. This doesn't end after a small amount of pages. Oh no this is a battle and it goes on.

So to introduce you to Terrys book.
Here is some of the character quotes.

"We all can be only what we are, nothing more, or less." --- Kahlan

"It's a mistake to assume your enemies are ignorant, and you are clever." --- Richard

"Admitting that you don't know something is the first step to learning." --- Zedd

Sometimes, in madness resides genius." --- Richard

These quotes brought to me by A fan website
First book: Stone of Tears Intro

The veil to the underworld has been torn, and Rahl, from beyond the veil, begins to summon a sinister power more dreadful than any he has wielded before. Horrifying creatures escape through the torn veil, wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting world above. If Rahl isn't stopped, he will free the Keeper itself, an evil entity whose power is so vast and foul that once freed, it can never again be contained. Richard and Kahlan must face Rahl and the Keeper's terrible minions. But first, Richard must endure the ministrations of the Sisters of Light, or die from the pain of magic that is his birthright and his curse. While Richard undertakes the arduous journey to the forbidden city of the Sisters, Kahlan must embark upon a long and dangerous mission to Aydindril, citadel of the old wizards, where she hopes to find Zedd and the help only he can lend to their desperate cause. War, suffering, torture, and deceit lie in their paths, and nothing will save them from a destingy of violent death, unless their courage and faith are joined with luck and they find the elusive....This intro was brought to me by A Fan website
8:41am

 Sunday, January 15, 2006
Nolan Bushnell Atari creator,Pong,Chucky Cheese. stolen my idea..Ok so it was bound to happen.
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
Not that alot of my ideas have been stolen. Well actually they have. Yes sadly I can not record all my ideas,but as I watch them being placed in many places I can only sigh and think if only I could of gotten there first. I only know of another idea that I don't think has been done yet,but I will not mention in case someone gets the idea to take it. So what am I talking about and how did he steal it ? Well first off he didn't actually steal it. He just also thought of it. Like im sure many others have. Lets all take a moment to praise the great Nolan Bushnell. It's funny I can never quite remember his name. This guy has been through alot of rise and falls. He has lost Chucky Cheese,Atari,and many other things,but his new idea Uwink  Well Uwink is the new reastraunt. His idea once again heh. Is to have monitors not crt monitors. Those who don't know. Crt is the huge monitors with the big back..Yea. Well just simple small monitors will be on tables for people to just select or choose what they wish to order and then from there you wait for your food. Thats it. That was my idea. Except the great Nolan Bushnell has a better Idea. He will be controlling all this information from a base. So that he can then add new things to the menu. Also unlike my idea Nolan has up the idea alot more. You know he also created Pong. Now he will have Ping,or thats the code name for the new game similiar to Pong,but other games to. So that new couples,or people getting to know each other can go one on one playing each other at this game and many other games that will be waiting for you. Also a nice place for familys. So yes this is what I wanted to tell you all about. :( One other idea that has been taken is I thought instead of when you go to the stores you get change back..Why not just have that for donations..Ok well it has been done. It's called Round up for the hungry by Sentry. Yea thank you Meg for pointing that out. Sorry Meg for not being in bed at this time. I will be there soon enough. Though now you know why I didn't get there. As I didn't wish to forget this information. So yea click the link if you wish. You can then view their site. Im sure if you did a google search,or whatever search engine you like. You can find peoples thoughts on it,etc Btw when visiting the site. The various links if you highlight over them you will see some will bring up more links. Ok ? If you don't understand I'll explain it to you better. Just send me a message. There is alot to read and alot more explaining about the place at the Uwink website.
Currently listening:
Degradation Trip
By Jerry Cantrell
Release date: 18 June, 2002
12:13 AM

 Sunday, January 15, 2006

Violence in video games ? No way ? America the land of the free ? Ha what a joke
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Seriously I can only find it how it is ironic that it is not ok to have violence in video games and yet our whole society is based on killing. I mean honestly. Tomorrow if America was told we had to all get out and find a place and there was no other way to look. That was the honest truth. Im not sure why we would have to get out,but we would. This wouldn't be about violence,or anything. Just simply get out. We just had to leave. Well first of all. We all would leave and then we would dominate,kill,rape and take whatever we wished. Why ? Because we are Americans. Because we are human. Humans strive to live and live they do. Especially those Americans,but this isn't what Im writing about. What Im writing about is that some people claim,or have come to feel that violence in video games is more,or less on the level of late 90's and even more so now. Seriously thats a joke. I knew when playing Space Invaders that that game was violent. There is no way around that. I don't care how badly inclined those graphics had been. Nolan Bushnell claims that games like Grand Theft Auto is bad,but though I agree with him on somethings I can't find agreeance there. First of all I can name many titles from the Nes error. Or as some of you put it. Original Nintendo. That had violence. That was very violent. Like Super Mario Bros. Oh come on. You know jumping on Goombas is violent. Alot of Atari games especially. Sure we didn't have graphics back then,but our games was just as violent and there is no way you can tell me that people then just thought when shooting a gun was brushing my little ponys hair. Thats bs. Now coming back to the Gta. Grand theft auto. Thats innovation. Thats creation. Thats pure reality. Now not really reality. Not everyday Im out banging a chic and killing her for money. See now that sentence there was censorship. So why is it that coarse words are bad ? I can't understand that stupid thing either,but if it pleases you all. Not everyday do I go out and murder a few cops. Not that I wouldn't mind. Im sure there is a few corrupt ones out there. But you do understand where Im going with some what reality not really right ? Maybe you don't and if you don't. Write me a nice letter and we can talk about it. Now when I see creation. Im talking no loading times,a great world. When im saying innovation. Im talking something like no other at times. Those who are not so judgemental and can see Gta for what it actually is. Then you would notice the themes. Like one game was set in Miami I think and one London. While one was set in I think Los Angeles. All these are various places. All the games are based on actual themes that happen once upon a time. The sound track for the game is even based around those times. One game is set in the 90's guess what the radio plays 90's music. One game is set in the 80's and that game plays 80's music,but that just isn't it. The worlds they base the game in even or set in these various time frames. When you load the game for instances in Vice city. You are introduced with a commodore loading screen that right there is just great. The Commodore is a computer from the 80's. Commodore 64 look it up. Then the 90's version it has some thug related stuff. sweet When your phone rings at 1245 am you expect an emergency. Sadly my time is up. I must go to bed. Have a good night. It was Meg. Bedtime.
12:32 AM

 Monday, January 16, 2006
Get Firefox! Here is the reason you should.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Get Firefox! Get Firefox!
Everyone you need Firefox. I'll help you along in why that is so. Internet explorer a browser that has been used widely acrossed the world is not the browser of choice for me. Although My myspace profile is viewable in Internet explorer and Firefox the same way. Firefox is a better browser. Tab browsing with the touch of a mouse. Thats like saying click those five links and instead of them opening in 5 different browsers they will all pop up in a row inside this browser. If you have used Deadaim,Trillian,or other programs that tab,or wish to know what tabbing is. Search it on Google,Yahoo. Whatever search enging you wish. By the way those annoying popups you get with Internet Explorer...Also known as IE. Will now be obsolete with an extension thats another word for add-ons called Adblock. Another good extension for Firefox is Flashblock..Ever wonder where that annoying buzz was coming from..Thats a flash ad someone has made to annoy you. So that you will click the ad and gain nothing from it. There is also check spelling. Thats right highlight the paragraphs you want and right click check spelling. Find the misspelled words. Along with dictionary. Which you highlight a word right click and find the meaning. There is also so many other extensions. Like Mouse gesture which all I have to do to close this window is move my mouse like a magician and a wand. I could say lots more,but obviously you probably all don't care and this is getting to be a pretty long conversation.
Get Firefox!
6:08 PM

Sunday, January 29, 2006
Parents and the oh so lying News people make Myspace out to be the bad guy...
Current mood:  accomplished
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/
Myspace in the T.O.S. States clearly you should not I reapeat NOT give out your personal information.It also states that if you are found to be under 14 and yes Myspace does find out from people like me and others who spot those annoying kids. If your found to be though. You will be banned. So it is not Myspaces fault if you broke their rules. Mothers the real problem isn't that you caught your12year old being a slut. She already was a slut. Myspace just enhanced her viewing power. On the other hand if she didn't use Myspace she would use some other program,or find other means to do so. Myspace didn't make her a slut. She already was. Don't blame Myspace for her issues. The girl says she "thinks" she was 13,but put 18. So she was a lying slutty bitch. Well who cares. Thats her fault.When I was younger I got into some sites by lying myself. I mean I didn't go as far as being stupid to give out my address to everyone and though If someone asked Im sure I would of gave them the right answer. Now on the other hand. Usually when I did something like that. It was to get Instant messenger systems,or what not. We didn't have Myspace in my day. Yea Im old.I mean Msnbc makes Myspace out to be bad,but why they never review good old Rockers Underground. We only out to make things good. I hear some girls got sexually assaulted when they must of met with someone who uses Myspace. Im really sorry for the victim,but she needs to realize and anyone else who is to dumb and is reading this that If your going to meet someone online. Please make sure you do it a not so secluded place... That just isn't logical. Now Parents if your kid uses Myspace,or you don't know they do..Which you wouldn't be reading this. But incase Nbc happens to snoop/stumble. Onto this post. Then Parents listen if she is 14 make sure you know where she is and where she is going. Im sorry though if she well took the next train out after her friend let her out of her site. That mother and father is not your fault.
Now Myspace along with the whole Internet community is just as good and great as bad and evil. It's a two sided coin. Thats the way our world is. I'll now leave you with the ending statement from the nbc website. Those lying not getting the whole storie crule people.

MySpace.com would not agree to an on-camera interview but did tell “Dateline” via e-mail that it prohibits posting personal information and has a team that searches for and removes both underage users and offensive material. MySpace said it does not pre-screen the content of its more than 50 million members, but encourages all of them to exercise caution.
7:12 AM

Sunday, January 29, 2006
I just CAN'T UNDERSTAND! I hate you IDIOTIC MOTHERS AND FATHERS!
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
Two boys and a girl. All family members died today,or sometime this week I would assume. Mother killed them :( Wtf ? It just doesn't make any sense you know. WHY WOULD YOU DO IT. You know the worst part is that when it's all said and done. There going to throw her in a jail cell and feed her as though she isn't a criminal. I say bring back hanging. Bring back the stocks. Lets put these fuckers into what really is justice. Not feeding them food with OUR tax dollars. Look I can care less who's money pays for fucking feeding immates,but when you can tell me someone is going to jail and maybe get the death sentence. It's idiotic. I mean let's kill them peacefully. She followed a religion which had to be mention because everyone in the religion world is so GODDAM FUCKING GREAT AND WONDERFUL..Surely that isn't true. We have many documented cases that RELIGOUS PEOPLE are NO MORE,OR LESS LIKE THE REST OF THE FUCKING WORLD! and they use stupid injection.."die peacefully" Im sure her KIDS! felt the same. If I was the father. I would of beat that bitch silly. Then I would of called the cops..Hell maybe I would of tortured her dumb ass for many months till someone figured she was missing. But hey we HAVE TO FOLLOW THE LAW AND THE LAW STATES THAT JUSTICE IS ONLY DONE CALM AND NICELY! Sure. Let me be the Police officer. She would be struggling to get to the Police car. That is if she managed to live.

Btw Im not censoring this. Sorry. I have the right to feel the way I do and you should do. Rip children of suffering


Oh and Yahoo gave me the article

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060129/ap_on_re_us/triple_slaying_children
Lets hope that Arkansas doesn't botch this case like West Mephis Three.


Alright so why Im sad and broken hearted. Im going to play some music. Since I can't display these songs any other way here goes my tribute to those kids out there who's parents kill them,rape them,beat them,abuse them,hurt them,or have done anything to fuck up there word. FUCK YOU!
Oh and a song for the cops who will only do their jobs. Which is ok,but if I was in that postion. I would loose my job. Just to give that bitch a nice smack upside the head and more. Maybe I would play that shit all out as though I was being "cop friendly material..I mean we wouldn't won't to hurt her..Thats not human thats mean" Then I would take her to a place. Tie that bitch up and slowly torture her and kill her. Because we all know I would soon be in jail for that..Oh well. Anything is worth killing this slut.

01. Dope-Fuck the world
02. Dope-No way out
03. Pantera-Heresey
04. Pete-Bury me
05. Six feet under-Silent violence
06. Dope-fuck the police..cover
07.Six feet under-remains of you
08.Six feet under-bonesaw
09.Six feet under-no warning shot
10. Papa roach-Black clouds
11. Nailbomb-Religious cancer
12.Nothingface-Here comes the butchers
13.Dread mynd trip-fuck you
I could go on. These are great songs. I'll listen to them over the next few days. While thinking about this tragic event. :(
9:22 AM

Monday, February 06, 2006
The internet has given me much,but no longer will I be online.
Current mood:  crushed
Category: Blogging
However thank you all for being around and being great friends. It was nice to meet some of you. Old friends and new friends. Im sorry that I can not be around for any longer,but my future awaits me. It is now time for change and change I must. If I must live on in a world of nonsense and work in a place that caters to teenagers.. I can not and will not. I don't wish to belong to a work place that holds no more desire then to make money..But don't we all wish for that. However I no longer wish to be a pawn in this game,but rather I wish to be the master. I wish to prolong my life and my world and my future. In doing so I must move away from the world of Online gaming. Which I have. Emule my world of poetry and poetry friends. Emule I pretty much have left behind over  two,or three years. My new found love online web2.0..Places like Digg and Myspace along with my old great news place Fark. Lets not forget Digi noise network and Hack a day,or I hacked.  I have the ability to move on into a better world and a better future. Though beyond the internet. I must also leave the world of fast food and the food industry all together. Which just seems to be one hell to get out..Wish I never had gotten in it. So please kids stay in school and stay determined and motivated. If being online means anything to anyone it means alot to me. I have met many people through the internet. I have learned many things and probably have become more educated and better understood and more apperciated by those I know. Just by being online. I have become a poet amongst many other things.My first relationship that meant more then just teenagers in love. Had come from this wonderful place. My other more serious relationship which is still on going was even from this place. But in both relationships I have to realize Im still and have not changed my ways. I remember in school how everyone was going to not smoke,drink,or use drugs. Amongst other things,but my friends changed. They however always said I never would and I feel I have never. Except along the way I come to realize that I can't continue not to grasp the future and let myself slip while others suffer because of my stupidity. It can not and will not go on. This is the end of all that. So tonight,today and any day from here on out. Is the end. Im glad to know you all and Im glad to have met you all online,or in the real world. When Im done obtaining my new job and I have gotten my truck out there in my new job. I will get back to my life of friends and online play,but otherwise I'll be stuck in debt. I'll have to live with a crappy tv. I'll have to constantly remind myself to budget this and budget that. Along with hurting myself for not being able to pay for,or ship out things to my nieces. Which I value and care for. I do not wish for them to ever think of me as a bad uncle,but If I keep this lingering world of the internet up along with working in fast food places. The only thing I'll ever get out of life is misery and death. Goodbye good night. I'll see you all when I get back out here. Take care. I love you all.
4:26 PM

Friday, February 10, 2006
Another online date goes bad through Myspace..Stop blaming Myspace
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
Sorry to hear about this lady. Yes Im not supposed to be hear,but I have been coming here on minimal time while doing more other time stuff. Anyways I just wanted to post this because Im sorry to hear this lady lost her life. On the other hand this could of happen to any lady that psychotic dude met. You know what no matter where he or she met. He would of done that..He is psychotic. You know what's worst he will probably get the same treatment that dumb lady got who killed her kids. Their going to send them to jail. Then they will either kill him in some nonpainful way,or let him relax in jail. Either way they will allow him to sit in jail. I think someone should hit him with a blunt object and throw him off an embankment. Bleh. Now stop blaming Myspace! Myspace is not at fault hear. People learn to be careful who you are dating with and don't go riding along with them unless you have known them online for sometimes are have some proof their not insane. DON'T BE STUPID AND GIVE COMPANYS LIKE MYSPACE A BAD NAME BLEH!
6:21 AM

Saturday, February 11, 2006
I won't let this build up inside of me..Slip me some knots and I'll sing :D
Current mood:  melancholy
Category: Blogging
First and foremost. I decided though Im not here as once was. I will keep you up to date on what is going on here in Noloco camp. First of all the other day I made Meggie breakfast. I accomplished making my moms biscuits..But forgot to put a timer so they came out a little over done,but thats ok. We had an extensive breakfast of scramble eggs and eggs over easy. My eggs of course done with Tonys and Cayenne. Yummy cajun seasons. I did one of Megs the same,but the other what I call American. Typical Salt pepper. Yippeee yea. Along with some bacon.Yesterday we had a good day. We went out to see Big Mama's house 2. That movie is funny. I loved it very much. Then we headed out to Hot Topic. You know I only started to love that place when I came to know the place in Louisiana because they carried 3x shirts. I am a big person and have big shoulders. Not the easiest thing for me to wear those tiny shirts. So that was great and it has that nice dark theme you just don't get in any other store. Their fashion ? Well it's ok,but Im still Nolon and I prefer not to do things like anyone else and do still love a certain few pairs of pants I found at Jc Penny,or Sears..Yea I know,but trust me simple,comfortable and quiet. Not heavy. Not jeans. Enough pockets. I like pockets I need em. The material I believe was polyester,but you just can't find them anymore. Hot Topic sells clothes that everyone else is wearing and thats cool. I mean I think it looks good on others and Im sure on me,but I don't prefer them except for the pants and In a small amount I accept the style,but that dumb idea someone brightly thought of. Putting stupid tassels Im going to call them,or ropes,strings,chains. You give it a name and thats what it is.
So yea basically all this extra nonsense that hangs down and is stupid. Then there is the Nintendo shirt issue. Why I can't seem to understand that alot of retro shirts don't fit retro kids. Hey we grew up sitting on the couch. The xl is not going to cut it Mr. So thats my rant on Hot Topic. On every other note. I wouldn't wish for them to ever leave. Though they are mass produce and mass worn and populated by kids who think some of this crap looks great. I do appreciate having some option that isn't acrombie,or however that is spelled. After all this we went out to Cold Stone Creamery. Yum! I got Cookie Minister Ice cream and Meg I assume something with Coffee,but I can't remember. Just so you all know it's a ice cream shop. That has a vast variety of icecream and toppings. Tonight we will be going out to see Fall out fracture you can find them on Myspace. We also will be going to see Final Destination 3. I love the Final Destination movies. I mean I can't seem to ever find an actual story,but the death scenes are great. Yea I may have a sick twisted mind at times,but please note the kindness here to. :D Right now Im listening to music. Not in the best of all moods. Sadness I guess would best to describe it and though I don't wish to discuss that with anyone. It's just one of those times when Im thinking.  I have not studied yesterday and or today.But yesterday I dida great portion of the dishes. Today I got a little bit more of those to do. Then I got to find my license. I need what all religious,or catholics fear. I need a Mark of the beast fix. :D A nice implant. So I can just be scanned. You people fear to much mythical creatures. Get yourself out of the days of old and come to terms to what it is and what is real. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE! So yea and thats my story. Live life smart not hard and remember to be trained if not by someone by yourself as always trust no one not even yourself.
Music being played.
11-Slipknot-vermillion par2
12-Black Label Society-Rust
3:07 PM

Thursday, February 16, 2006
My views on wireless and wired internet. Communication over Nintendo DS or the Internet
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
A comment Im going to try to post to ABC and if not I'll try to link them here..Oh gees they may find some posts they may not like here,but in the end. I only speak the truth here as best as I possibly can. But this post is not censored and is ready for all of you to read and I do encourage parents,familys,friends and anyone else to come on over and read and speak to your loved ones about this post,but not to forget about the postive side of the DS. This post is in response to an article by ABC.

Here is their article. Those of you who may be interested,but keep an open mind for it's not out to make the DS shine so much,but more to show the negatives. Thats why I will show the postives.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=special_coverage&id=3905371

It is the parents that should always read and follow instructions. It amazes me that it's ok for parents to go to jail for killing their kids off in various ways,but every time something happens to a kid that plays a video game. Everyone blames video games. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually considers to read and  I know through my years of working that sometimes it seems people just don't read. That is the fault of the parent not Nintendo,or anyone else who may have created a system,or a game. Now I did read the whole article and Im glad this is more warnings to parents that watch the news and probably have no other focus in life. Thats ok. I mean if the news is their hobby great,but now that they can see the dangers/possibiltys it's good you have shown this. Now except that I don't really see you showing the postive side of the DS. So in a way. Im going to take you through some of my life trials and tribulations.

"Parents really need to pay attention to what they're purchasing, ask a lot of questions, and really find out more about the game, what's involved - other than the video game aspect of it. Can you talk to other people? Can other people connect to my son's or daughter's mini game system?"


Thats right thats how it should be. I thought the article was ok,but it in my opinion made Nintendo out to be the bad guy a little bit,or more that it had a negative feel about the DS. Im not saying it's right that pedophiles have options that shouldn't,but parents should no that something that turns on and is electronic isn't just a baby doll,or something like that and though older Gameboys didn't have the ability to be wireless they did have connection availability so that you and friends could play. It's always been an interest of Nintendos and kids alike to have that option. When I was young it really wasn't cool to have the option to connect with friends when some of your friends couldn't afford a gameboy. Now with the advantage of wireless technology kids are capable of living in an enviorment where they can have that advantage. Where they can connect,chat and be apart of a world that makes friends. Im my time online I have encountered many people,but never can I recall anyone I come in contact with to be a pedophile,or someone who would have intention to harm,or hurt someone unless of course that person deserved it. Like killers,rapists,and the like. Im also dating a girl I met over the internet and we are engaged It's been almost 4 years as of this July and before that I was with a girl for two years. Life over the wire,or wireless is for the good as it is for the bad. Not that it should be for the bad,but we share a world with bad as we do with good and things that are good can be bad. In the end all I wish is parents paid more attention to their kids and products they buy their kids and maybe we wouldn't have these issues. Im sure in one the DS books that there is some warning about this issue. So parents please educate your kids. Thank you Abc for allowing me to say what I have to say and Im sorry it was so long.
5:13 PM

 Thursday, February 16, 2006

Let me tell you about my day I can't get a shorter topic so read it's a rant!
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
A note to those who are censored and maybe to young according to your parents to read words that are of bad nature. Please don't read this post thanks.


America is one country I can confirm in saying boy you people sure got some dumb ass rules. Why it's ok to go driving down the road on a motorbike with the fucking mufflers screaming insane. It's ok to run your fucking diseal vehicles in your yard or through a drive through at a local reastraunt and it's ok to make noise when scraping snow and ice off your car. It's just not ok to have a car with a loud muffler. Now let me clear something before everyone screams it's my fault. In all honesty it is my fault for being a dumb ass and wrecking a Camaro. It's my fault for knowing better in school and knowing to follow in uniform and be like everyone else,but Nolon just couldn't be that way because I COULD NEVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE AND THEIR SAME WAY WE ALL DO IT ATTITUDE FUCK YOU! In the end even if I had wrecked the  Camaro lived in a different state and went to college. I would still be a broke ass fuck with some of the dumb ass rules in the country. So someone would still have to suffer the wrath of my fucking muffler on my car that I did not put on the car. But let me inform you never would I intentionally run my car to piss someone off. I might make a joke on the free that I can out run your car,but I know better and wouldn't try. It's just like this. I own a car with one of those mufflers some rich fucking kid,or some hip kid thought was cool to have when that film came out,or maybe it was just that he thought he was cool,or she,but we will say he because it would seem more likely to be a guy. Anyways I bought the car from a man who gave me 1 grand off for the car and who had rebuilt the car because it had gotten in a wreck. Didn't bother with the muffler. Nothing was wrong with the muffler. I mean besides it being street ilegal and that it can be a bit loud. Now I do wish to mention the car is parked right by my bedroom window and I can barely hear it. I do wish to mention that I do have good hearing. What all took place tonight is that I had to get very well bundled to take the snow off of Megs car. I have no issue in doing this. Not a problem at all. In fact we was making much noise. Just trying to get the snow off her car. It was about 8 something when we had chose to do this. Thats pm not Am. Even if it was am. When you need your car you need your car. So fuck you asshole if you didn't like the muffler wait till you hear what I got in store. Anyways Megs car is not loud,but it was a bitch to get the ice and snow off. It was like molded to the car. I mean honestly it was stuck ass hell. Well being the nice guy that am. More so for my consideration of being lazy in the morning. But it would also benefit my neighbors because I wouldn't of been running my loud muffler at 6 or 5 am In the morning. It was about 912 when I started running my car. Once again pm. I had chose to do this so that It would be easier to take the snow off. Well I go outside after doing dishes which I might add. You can hear when water is running in someone else apartment here. You can hear when the fucking garabage disposal is on. You can hear alot of things in the apartment. We never have issues with the neighbors. I don't know who the fuck called,but if I knew I would like to have a word with that fucker. Consideration is defined as being nice and not being an ass. I had chose to do all this with no problem. Well when I go outside to take the snow off. My fucking car was being looked at by a cop. WTF IS THAT SHIT! Well fucking cop had me go in the house to get my license. Ok let me clarify the cop was nice..But this is another issue with America. We have a social security card..WHY IS SO FUCKING HARD THAT WE CAN'T JUST SAY HEY THIS IS MY NUMBER AND LOOK IT UP...NO NO NO WE HAVE TO GO BACK IN THE HOUSE GET THE DRIVERS LICENSE BECAUSE THATS A FUCKED UP WORLD WE LIVE..Well in all honesty another fucked up thing is that you have to change your drivers license every time you change your address because even though it's all registered with everyone else it isn't with the cops..Fucking stupid,but true. Well I come to find that not only is it that Im at fault for that,but of course my muffler and because my car is running and no one is around thats a problem. No matter if the door is locked. It's all stupid. Then the cop had me paranoid. Because he like come sit in my car...Im sure everyday I get in a car with a stranger. Yea sounds good. Well I did. I got in,but you would think that I would of got front seat no he had me locked up in the back like a criminal. Wtf. So it's all fucked up. But thats ok. I got no ticket. If I did it would be about 200 dollars yea great. So now you wonder what I have in store. Well when I have to scrap snow. Im going to make sure every mother fucker can hear it and Im only going to do it when I leave for work and to be an ass when I have money. Im going to get a vehicle that is legal to run loud and then I'll run that fucker on purpose. FUCKING FUCKERS!
9:47 PM

Thursday, February 23, 2006
I called my friend Lisa C. I have not spoken to her in awhile.
Current mood:  good
Category: Blogging
Old friend from Yahoo. I dunno why Im writing about it,but I guess to say hey keep in touch with your friends. Even if it may have been a year,or two. Just see if there number exists. Awhile back I emailed her,but that doesn't exist anymore. However she told me tonight she has not interest in the internet anymore. Oh well. Im trying to find the 100th person to add as a friend. Not that this email is about that. I might of already found the 100th friend. She is cool to. She is like one of my very old internet friends. Back from the Icq days. When mom didn't even know I used the internet. Ah haha. Those were the good old days. I ran a phone line to the pc used a friends connection login and pass. It was great. :D So yea her name is Melissa. She is cool to. Lisa and me passed emails. A nice girl. She was like a little sister. Anyways long story short..Should always start this sentence at the begining. Keep in touch with your friends. It's nice to talk to old friends.


 Thursday, February 23, 2006

50 questions about my sex life Oh fun isn't it. If sex scared you off then sorry
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Warning some of this is very up and personal and some of it is very serious. Words that are not much appreciated by common folk are written here and some insightful information on sex is written here. I have given this my all and hope you do read it,but I understand your reasons if not. We all can't be Nolon. So please if your either a: Young and not really sure if you should read don't,or b: Just disgusted by the word sex,or words that start with b,c,f,d,etc. Then this probably isn't your survey,but do remember it is insightful/personal/up and close. Long at times to because I can never let off the keys. Enjoy.


1. How many people have you had sex with? 3

2. Have you ever given oral? yes Ooo is that bad,or something because Meg seems to really enjoy it. I dunno. I thought that was a great thing. Have you ever given oral ooo

3. How many people have you given oral to? 2

4. Have you ever received oral? yes Oh yes the other night as a matter of fact. It was great.

5. Have you ever had a one night stand? I dunno. I mean it was sex. Stupidly and all. But thats what happens when you do stupid things right,but I don't regret it no. It was an experience in life.

6. Have you ever had sex with someone you didn't know? The first girl sort of. Hell I knew Meg alot better. I still no Meg alot better.

7. Have you ever had a threesome? Kiss yes threesome anything else no.

8. Have you ever had an orgy? Yes..Oh you mean sex. I was talking about the cd.

9. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? Jokingly yes.

10. Have you had sex with anyone on your myspace friends list? Oh yes. You all know who you are. Lmao. Im kidding gees. Don't get all mad. One person. Thank you. Im on a conquest though...Gees im kidding relax.

11. Have you had phone sex? not exactly no

12. Have you had sex while on the phone? yes, nolon sometimes thinks it's funny to "distract" me while on the phone, lol. <---- Ah haha that was Megs answer.

13. Have you had sex while someone else was in the room? yes, lol nolon's poor sister. Don't worry, she didn't know. We weren't being THAT southern. <--- Yes thats right and also my first sexual girlfriends girlfriend...Yea yea long story.

14. Have you had sex in a car? yes. It was many times in La.

15. Have you had sex in some place other than a bed? Where? why of course... I can't name them all, but a few highlights are cars, a pool, lakes, a trampoline... and of course, lots of different furniture and floors <--Meg answered me.

16. Have you ever been to a sex toy party? no

17. Have you ever used a sex toy of some kind? What? yes, just various dildos <---I saw that in action woot

18. Have you discussed sex with your parents?  My mom is silly of course.

19. Have you had sex in public? Um no not me never .....

20. Have you had sex in an airplane? no

21. Have you had sex with two people who are related to each other? wtf

22. How big is your penis/breasts?  Ok here is where things come into oh he is lying/she is lying. Look to be honest with you. Imo it's small. Ever girl has said otherwise. Not including by mouth,but hey thats all I know. So you take it as it is. Not your business anyways right ? It's Megs.

23. Do you shave? Nope

24. What kind of underwear do you wear? some and some not I got Koolaid boxers though woo woo thanks Meg.

25. Have you ever had sex with someone who was younger than you? Um dam. I did,but older to. So Im ok I guess. Not so much a pedophile now am I.

26. Have you ever had sex with someone significantly older than you? significantly in the moment yes,but no I mean I don't think it meant nothing outside of that.

27. Which celebrity would you fuck? The ones without Stds if I was single. You talking celeb porn stars,or just celebs ? Let me know. I'll answer then.

28. Who do you want to have sex with right now? Meggie.

29. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18. Yes. I do remember that time. Dump a meaningfull relationship for a maybe possible chance relationship. Shows you how stupid I was back then.

30. What makes you horny? Meg

31. Have you ever had sex on a waterbed? no

32. Have you ever used food in bed? yes

33. Do you always use protection? birth control yes, luckily i dont have to worry about stds

34. Have you ever had sex with more than one person in 24 hours? no

35. Have you ever had sex on the first date? Sadly yes the first tiem and in some different kind of way it really wasn't Meg and me first time date. I mean first time physically sexually and physically seeing one another yes.

36. What is your favorite position? Oh I like it every position we can possibly get in one fucking period.

37. Have you ever had sex more than once in 24 hours? yes. Im going to estimate it at 4 times,but no more.

38. Have you ever farted during sex? Oh I think so. Why ?

39. Have you ever embarrassed yourself during sex? I don't think so.

40. Have you ever gotten injured during sex? les lmao, my head was reeeeeally hitting the wall... i didnt want to stop, tho, because the rest of it felt nice and i kept thinking nolon was on the verge of climax... but then i began to pass out. i probably should have seen a doctor, id bet money it was a concussion. <-- I did that lol

41. Have you ever watched porn? yes I got about 500 worth. Or something.

42. Have you ever had sex while you were drunk? tried to lol  <--Meg said The copsssss are coming.<--Meg also said that when she was drunk. It was rather funny. Man I wasn't drunk. I don't drink,but Meg well she wasn't,but she was. Oh hell. The cops are going to read this post. Fuck.

43. Have you ever had sex while you were high? no, drugs are bad

44. Have you ever had cybersex? yes In a joking manner

45. Have you ever had sex with your significant other's friend? no

46. Have you ever had sex with your friend's significant other?

47. Have you ever pretended you would have sex with someone and had no intention of going through with it? no, thats bad

48. Have you ever hung out with someone just to have sex?  Na thats just wrong.

49. Have you ever had sex with your ex? no our relation wasn't really sex related. Which is cool. It was more on a friendly terms basis. I mean we had the love yous and stuff,but the sex wasn't in there. Well though our relation was many many miles away. Many many many many. Many many many many many many...Did I get that right ?

50. Have you ever regretted having sex with someone?

Im not going to use real names here. Because Im not sure who wishes to have their name in this. So in the end only one name will be used that you all will know.

 Well thats a hard question. So I'll try to answer this as best as possible. Ok first and foremost. My first time was kind of awkward. I mean Imo it was hit,or miss. I personally felt that I wasn't sure about this girl and that maybe possibly it could work out. Relationshipwise. Long story short it didn't. I broke up with my lady of approx a year at that time her name as we will call her was eeee. She personally didn't seem to take it to bad. But still enough it was and is wrong that I did it,but then I guess I didn't really see what I had done. I was young and maybe thats not to be blamed,but we also didn't discusss our problems. But yes the girl I lost it to dee. I don't regret it,but I do. It's like if I could take back breaking up with eeee for her I would do it now,but thats the past and we can't change the past now can we ? It was an experience and that I do like to say Im happy to have. It is memorys that I don't wish to forget for it wasn't a bad time with dee.  It's like a weird stupid thing Im about to say,but if I could of had that moment in a different life. That would of been great,but not the way it happen because the way it happen was breaking up with someone I really loved. Someone I actually had feelings for. That was eeee. But eventually I grew to have what feelings I manage to gain in the short week,or two we had a relationship. Me and dee. Though it all played apart in my life. So once again. I can't change it and I guess I don't regret it,but if you view it the way I do. Maybe you can see how I don't regret it even though that sounds a bit dumb. When dee broke up with me. I went asking eee back out. She accepted my offer as though nothing happen and that was the end of that. Sometime after I had the break up with dee. I started writing poetry. So that was cool. Now in some weird odd way. I feel dee made me into the poet I am. So thats another reason I don' regret it. But once again there is no proven fact behind that and though another reason is the poetry from Darkness.com of the past not of today. That though is a fact. I used to view darkness for storys and got interested in poetry. Though this was before dee. Thats also where Meg comes from. Darkness.com. Thats where we began our relationship,but it was friendship then and nothing more. So please don't confuse that. While me and eee had started dating again. Our relationship wasn't really relationship. It was more Im not sure. Well she was in school. Highschool to be exact and me I was becoming me. I guess you could say. More smart. More well informed and more understanding. More then just that crazy southern guy from La. I guess you can call it a change,but through this time as time passed eee and I just kinda fell apart. Either I called her and she wasn't able to speak. Or I wasn't sure what to say to her,or to afraid to even mention the fact I lost my virginity,but our phone calls became less and when we did talk it was more like just staring at the wall. As I like to call the lack of communication factor. Well some where along that line. Calls became really none. I mean to a point I can't even remember that we would even speak to one another,or it was hard for me to get in touch with her. So I felt on my part the relationship was pretty much dead. In that time I ended up sleeping with someone we will call feee. It meant nothing more to her,or me then that. It was sex. We had no interest in one another. Causal surely. Did I regret it ? yes and once again no. I mean it was fun. But though she had slept with more guys then I had slept with girls. Doesn't make such a great impression  and stupidly I knew that,but I took that chance. So let's move on. I got tested for aids sexual diseases and what not. Before I met Meg. But I also made it a point that I broke it off with eee. So as all that got under way me and Meg met. Meg also got tested. We both are clean. I would believe that we still are. As I have been faithful to her and she to me. Meg do I regret having sex with her ? I never do. It's always a great new experience in various positions and in various places. It's great fun. It's safe. It's smart. It's meaningful. It's a relationship. It's not a chance with some girl you may think will wish for a relationship with you. While you dump someone who was actually giving you that chance. Meg is not just casual sex. Meg is not what these other two girls were. She has not slept with many guys and she is the one I have been with for 4 years. I didn't fail to be with her as my x eee. I have kept our relationship together and we hold true to comunication. I only failed that once with her and she accepted me back in her life. I once almost left her. Meg expected me to do things that I had no answer to if I would ever do. I was afraid of what she may have said if I had wished to leave. I wasn't sure and I had no place to go. In the end I regret that as well,but I didn't know any better. Communication is key and without it. Things can go wrong. So please in your best interest keep in touch with the one you love and try your best to understand their feelins and hope they understand yours. Don't make promises you can't keep. Especially if you are a slacker,or lack the means,funds,or transportation. Never do that to someone. You will only break hearts. I liked this survey. It is more then sex to me.

Conclusion besides the top. Sex is healthy for you. Those who have made it this far. I just wish you all know that. Don't be ashame to say you have sex and don't feel it's wrong. Marriage or no marrage. It's healthy for your heart and is good for your immune system. It keeps you happy and well makes your other just as happy. Be glad to have that special someone with you and remember to always be safe. If your going to leave them let them know and if your going to fuck someone else let them know before hand. Don't just do it. You could be putting them at risk and yourself. Remember to never sleep with someone just because your a virgin,or because your desperate thats a stupid call to make. You could create a kid and a hell of a riff between two people that have no means between each other. You could catch a disease that you will have to live with for the rest of your life,or aids which could kill you. Then you would probably be embarassed and I got to say if there is one thing that would make me feel that way it would be that. Besides you could never have sex in that special great safe way again. One more thing. If your going to have kids. Do it safely. Not stupidly. Don't have sex with someone and not protect yourself. If your not sure that supposed special someone is worth having a kid for. You shouldn't put yourself in that predictment. That kid will have to face the consequence to. I know Meg is a great person and will be a great mother and I could never ask for more. I know the risks and I know the dangerous. I once was stupid. I failed like so many others before me. I took the chance and went with it. But I was lucky and didn't catch any disease,or hiv. Oh and my first time was without protection. *REMINDER* Pulling out has a higher chance of getting a girl pregnant. Because precum shoots off more sperm then when you actually cum. Besides you should wear a condom anyways. I didn't know at the time that pulling out was bad. I knew better to wear a condom I didn't,but once again I was lucky. Doesn't mean you will be. All along I had someone special that I didn't have great communication with Someone who would of done all of these things for me and would of kept a relationship together between me and her,but I failed her. Our relationship was that of online. Our relationship was awkward and new for the both of us. I messed up and I know that now more than anything,but I would't give up Meg and I wouldn't change all that has happened. It all came out to make me who I am and to educate you who got this far. I let her down and in the end rebuilt myself with a new wonderful person.  Meg is that person and this is my story. If you feel Im wrong on any levels. Im sorry. But thats what I had to say and btw It was hard to say I almost left Meg. Not many know about that. But I think this survey was a good time to speak that truth. After all I do not lie in these blogs. Unless for the safety of others,or for the confidential reasons of another. So I hope you all enjoyed. You may find more information on aids,and stds by doing searches. Remember these are my experiences and that does mean you may have different experiences,but don't be stupid. Have sex safe and think about kids don't make kids out of lust.
9:02 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006
Relaxing. Studying. Hanging out at Pillllars coffee shop. Update on my CDL here to.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
So I just finished writing to my x. That was cool. Poor girl is having some troubles of her own as well as happyness all in one big mix. Pilllars is great. There was a band doing jazz/bluesish and poetic jazz bluish stuff. Blues that is. I say that is what they had been playing. The worker and his band mates did some accoustics as well a guy was also on stage with a guitar and singing earlier and a girl came on singing along with some cd and one poet was up and did one poem. It was long and I didn't follow along. Sorry if your reading this whoever you are. Then I wrote my x. Along with mixing studies into all of this,but that blues jazz band was great. Honestly they did some old covers of some of the greats and they did a great job as well as informing us on some music history. Well the place is about to close and I was supposed to head home earlier. Forgive me my dear if you are home awaiting me,but Im getting up off this chair soon enough. I drunk a mocha earlier mmm It was yummy. I found a new coffee shop thanks to Meg and our local free newspaper in Milwaukee. Yes it's a place in Milwaukee and it's not a smoking enviorment. Ok I forgot to also mention that blues band did alot of improv to and now there is a girl and a guy on stage and I think the guy was trying to sing love songs to the girl and she was trying to persuade him that she wasn't going to go out with him,but it was something they have done before. However I couldn't understand what exactly was going on and she I couldn't understand to well. It seems the end is that they will be back together...Aww she seems shame to be up there,but at least she got up there. It's cool to see them up there So yes that is what I have to. I got my schedule from McDonalds. Seems torture is their game as aways. At least Imo. I mean honestly my last day should of been 6am to 2pm In my opinion,but as much as they know I hate working boring 8am to 4pm schedules that is my last day. Ah yes,but hopefully it will be the last I'll ever see of any food chain unless im eating at one. Bleh. But if one thing I must say. At least I was provided a job an income and most importantly a place to lay my head with the money provided and they kept their promises I did get raises,but in the end. It Mc Donalds is like any other fast food place It sucks It's minium wage and thats goes for big business reastraunts to. I been in them all.Now hopefully I'll be out on the road. New experinces. Places to see. People to meet. Loads to drop off. A new future a more stable future a better income and real time off. Oh yes I look foward to it all and can't wait to be out there.
I passed my air brakes test. My test on knowledge and my test on combinations. Now Im working on my hazmats Aka hazardous materials and waiting for my Wisconsin driving records. Then I apply await and hope I get chosen. Go to training hope for the best and become a good driver. Wish me luck.  :D
11:22 PM

 Tuesday, March 07, 2006

One of my last days off. Just thought I would talk about today I guess.
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
So yippee...Im not over charged again for what would have been the 3rd time on my credit card. You honestly don't want these over charges. There 30 a pop,but if anything it helps you out when you need it to. Well over about 3 or 4 months I had managed to get two. One was because I had got Meg medicine,but then I wanted to pay for our food expenses in cash..However instead of looking to see how much money I had on the credit account. I just swiped it...Thought I had enough..Thats what minium wage always makes you do..Think..Think you might or might not,but possibly not..Maybe shouldn't buy this,or that etc. The next charge was totally my fault. I have a netflix bill and my host for web account for www.darkdimensions.net.  So what happen was that I had forgot to and kept forgetting to put the cash on it..Ah yes so I could be 30 dollars less in debt,but instead since I was over by like a dollar. Im now only 90 something dollars out of 500. So hopefully working as a driver for the big orange company. :D I'll manage to get out of this debt. I don't like debt. I don't like knowing I can't pay off my credit card. Sometimes I feel some people think I don't manage it because Im careless,or something. But no I just realize I can't afford it right now. Otherwise I would never have 500 sitting on there expanding over year,etc. So now today as I said I was going to talk about today. Well Im going to open a new checking account finally in Milwaukee. Im not really sure I like the bank to much,but it will be better then nothing for now and I'll also apply for a new credit card..On the basis that I do get the job at Schneider otherwise it will be thrown out and cut up. Because more and more it seems all the money Im saving im loosing..Ah yes the life of a minimum wage worker. So today is one of two of my days off..Im not sure why I was given days off on my last week..I guess there only following schedule,but it just seems a bit stupid to me..Work Mon off Tues Wed worth Thurs Fri..Sure I can see two reasons. A the schedule because I have/had it set that way,but they could of asked if I wanted to switch the last week around ha. Or it could be no matter the situation It's fast food and Thurs and Fri is a busy day..So therefore they will do what they can to have who they need on those day and since I qualify for those days because I requested my last day was Friday they could do that..So what am I complaining about ? Well they could have easily put me on Tues and Wed to I guess,but once again it matters not. I could of clarified that to when I wrote the letter to them. Oh well. Im enjoying my days off and I need some time to do some things like the banking thing and if I had money I might think about traveling down the street to the parks,but Im not walking. :P Not right now at least. I seen the new X-men trailer. Posted it all for you to see to. Hope you all like it. Im going to do some more organizing tonight. We got our bedroom nice and semi-tidy. However this desk just either stays clean for a day,but gets back to chaotic disaster in no time,but thats what happens when you have a small desk. As well as such a small area to work with.Ah yes have you all seen my Child Play shirt ? My Chucky shirt ? My Charles Lee Ray shirt ? :D  Hi Im Chucky Im your friend to the end..Hidy ho haha..I love that little guy...and his words are so funny. You did see my Chimaira shirt my lovely got me to right ? That shirt is great. She got it for me for valentines day. Well guys and girls. Im going to hit the send button. Meg I just realized what shirt you was looking for yesterday and once again I failed you because I was supposed to get it for you. Well I still love you and I think that even though you didn't get the shirt you had a good Vday.
9:28 AM


 Thursday, March 09, 2006

Im going to Schneider training Mar 18, 2006
Category: Blogging
Yes I will be heading out to Greenbay,Wi this coming Sat. Wow it is happening and it's happening quick. This song Im listening to is great. It's Down the sun-American Filth..Happening quicker then I expect. But it's ok. I mean in the end it's our bills,or our debt,or future in jeporady on the line and all in all It's either me go out and do something I always thought about doing or stay a slave to the minium wage power trippers. Not exactly something Im thinking about getting into again. As I move along from the 48 States and Canada. I'll probably train myself to do something else and over two or three years. I'll think about another carrer. Possible something close to home dealing with computer tech. I don't honestly know and it's not me who prefers to steal peoople of their money and come on you people who are tech support can be so wrong. I understand we have to make a living,but some of those prices for the little things you change and yea I may not be wait I said tech..Hmm well whatever word they use for those who build pc's. I would say tech because I would be interested in probably getting into both fields possibly,but once again this is later on and Im not saying it will happen. There are many things on my list for later future jobs. As well as holding a CDL which qualifys me for such and such. :D Ah yes. The benefits of those three letters. Well  unfortunately there may have been some untruth to certain ads I have seen,but I will not say what. However I will say my time off will be alot less then originally expected,but once again. It is something I have always wanted to do and it's a life change as well as a way to get out of all this debt I have been stuck in for the past year that only builds on a daily basis. Im tired of having to always estimate how much money I have for this or that and will I have enough money for that. My recruiter is a very nice lady so far. We went over everything and she very well informed me of what I needed as well as answering all the questions I could remember. She set me up for a quick enroll at the training academy which creates and additional bonus for me. Well time is coming to a close and I have 8 hours left of Fast food annoyance,complaints,management power trips. Management we don't all know the same thing,management some say follow procedures/rules some say otherwise,management some don't know how to work their own equipment some I think do. Sadly their management. No more having to deal with this fast slow food enviorment. No more making burgers no more no more no more. Ah yes 8 hours of pure bliss hell and the only thing I'll enjoy more so is those I have come to know and have worked with. Some who I can only wonder about and some that I have been good friends with and do hope to continue that friendship as time moves fowarded. Well out the blog and into the bathroom I go.


Oh down the sun should be whats playing..But for some reason it not show


 Mass and serial ... American
 It's killing me ... Filth
 Moral values ... American
 Rich American dream ... Filth

 Guns are loaded ... American
 Bullies can't hide ... Filth
 You can't kill me ... American
 I'm your golden child ... Filth

 Severed crown priceless
 Justice is anomalyx
 Knowledge is the weapon
 Open up and find it
 Hate is the only way

 Powers that be drain you
 They give you reality
 Anything for money
 Anyone can be bought
 Hate is the only way out

 Can you feel it ... American
 It's what we are ... Filth

 I want you to motherfucking die, you, yes, you

11:27 PM



 Saturday, March 11, 2006
*note* NewOrleans style..* Red beans and rice ready to serve in 60 seconds review
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
Wow if you need something edible..This will work,but even potted meat tastes better then this stuff. Honestly New Orleans you want to bring in tourist and make crap like this ? Ok so it's packaged in Louisiana by Zatarans and it supposedly is New Orleans style red beans..Ok and then that means that the place over here was also wrong. The Cajun...reastraunt..Which In my opinion tasted like something I would of got out of a can and threw on rice..OK THATS NOT RED BEANS AND RICE EITHER! But since most reastraunts out of state make everything like New Orleans,Louisiana and this one made their place like building from the inside of it like the outside of a New Orleans reastraunt. We will assume thats how their red beans was supposed to be. But ok so there red beans was supposed to be New Orleans,or Cajun..IT'S NOT! This packaged crap from New Orleans is supposed to be New Orleans style..Maybe it is,but they can keep their New Orleans style. Im sticking with way down south mmm mm good cooked in the slow cooked with ham hock and then over rice and if you know what Im talking about give me a amen.... Oh and in category we should get to choose complaining..Wouldn't it work well for me ? :D Honestly what did you think I expected to get something to cook in the microwave for 60 seconds...
12:19 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006
Well thats alot of blogs for me to read. Update on me at Schneider training.
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
Just to tell you all im doing well in the trucking training academy. We are learning alot of information in 14 days and it has gone so fast so far. Untill next Friday I will still be there. That will be the end of the 14 days. So far im half done. Today was one of the most boring days there however. On the other hand it is great,but im slow so it takes me sometime to learn some things but im moving along and my driving so far has been pretty decent. Although still pretty bad off. Sure miss Meg alot. I get to see her till tomorrow when she goes back home. She brought the laptop for me. Isn't she a sweetie ? I think so. Ah it's so good to see her. It's weird being out here without her and with out all of you guys and girls. Well Im going to sign out now. I have work to study and learn. Peace out cats. :D
Noloco
7:52 PM

Sunday, April 02, 2006
Well back out to Schneider training. As well as over the road.. See you al in two weeks I think
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Im just writing off to say good bye. I had a two good days at home, but now it's time to say good bye. Well I would say more, but Meg is awaiting me and Im over 6:30pm,but I needed to wrap up. So I am. See you all and best of luck to you all. At Schneider Im having a good time and I can't wait to learn more and become one of the few out there on the road.
5:49 PM

 Friday, April 07, 2006
Schneider training ends.My job with them ends to. Ah yes,but was it me ?
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
So was it me ? Well it is hard to say. Surely I would of graduated with a different intstructor,but as time drew near and graduation came I had trouble backing. When I covered my grounds for backing. I was back in Green bay for a week. Unfortunately I got stuck with a different trainer. Different trainer means different routes outside and therefore I could do my right and left turns well...If of course we had not taken tight turns and I never was introduced to anything tight with my original instructor. However with this instructor it was different and so be the last days of my life with an actual career and back to the life of shitty jobs,but what can I do ? Do I have the knowledge and ability to do everything Schneider trained me to do ? Yes,but I have failed because I couldn't get through tight turns at this time. Does that mean over time I could of changed that ? Yes,but though we wasn't given no more time and once again I was not taken around those turns with my other intstructor and my first day with the new instructor for one week he never mentioned that he was taking us around such and none of that got brought up till about the second day. By that time I realized I had been taking them wrong by all means,but everytime I tried to correct my mistakes they wouldn't correct properly and therefore when it was time for last evaluation I was still making some bad mistakes on those turns. But once again I'll never forget how to drive those trucks and I have the safety ability to drive them and ability to back them and yes my backing still isn't extreme profession,but it sure beats what I was doing. I can surely uncouple and couple the trailer and tractor as well. No issue there. So yes Im a half ass professional driver with no one to continue my ability to be more than and unfortunately wasn't graduatuated in time to miss my one weakness and so I was the unlucky one. Though that doesn't mean it makes it right that if they had graduated me and I couldn't do it,but at least if they did I would have been give more op to change my faults,but I wasn't and so I sit in debt and in need of a job. A crappy job of all jobs. But a job and I refuse by all means to work Mc D's and or any other fast food job for that matter and I don't care what that means to anyone. You all don't understand where I am and what it took me to get where I got with Schneider and yes I still would recommend Schneider training. I warn you though If you are a slow learner,or have a learning disability. Do note that it's 14 days of sheer pressure and non stop evaluation,but you will learn and you will learn. Although learning does not stop at 14 days and most will graduate,but the unlucky ones,or the slow ones will be stuck another week and if a weakness is found that wasn't detected prior to the extra week. Your fucked out of 3 grand and so many hundred. So be prepared. Yes the money is worth. The pain and bullshit you face if you fuck up and the ones you love you face when you fuck up will not be the best days of your life nor will the next few years,but what can you change..You tried. Sometimes you just fail and unfortuantely for me thats usually where I stand. Hell a good example. Now Im not saying oh well I wish I was this guy,but I just like to use this example because I think it is extremely interesting how we are all different. My roommate. Yes if you apply for a job like Schneider  you will more then likely be with  someone for 14 days in a hotel and possibly they may smoke or not and you to. That is how it works. I was lucky to be given a great roommate. My roommate though never had to do any studying. Oh some minor stuff now and then. He had trouble backing but luckily had time to get it straight and graduated. Usually he was able to get the material and know it quickly. While Im sitting there most nights nonstop studying,or trying to catch up and he watching tv. But look who is where and hmm how and why are we all different and some of us in such a fucked up way. Good bye good night. I might have to cut the internet off while I pay for my mistakes. Then once I fix my mistake. I'll have to face the music and realize I'll never be more then I am a fuck up working slave labour in slave labouring jobs. Ie Mc D's,Sonics,Food industry,and other nonsense bs like that,or temp service. Though unfortunately I was the unlucky one in life,but for all the unluck there are things in my life that are great and Im not about to change it,but to be the best I can never be more then who I am a man left to suffer untill death. Physically,emotionally and finacially.
2:24 PM

Monday, April 10, 2006
Inspired Sadness Wierd name. Great writing. Non-fiction A writing by me. 03-18-06
Category: Blogging
I find myself deeply lost in confusion
I feel my life is nothing but an Illuison.
My desperation leads to inspiration,
But this mirage of greatness
Is pure bliss that becomes and abyss
and deeply I fall, but when I call out
there's no one to help.
Independently I become
me alone in my Inspired sadness
and I write and write......

I really enjoy this one. It just makes sense to me and makes me feel this is really what my writing is all about. At least a good portion.
As always you can find more writings by me @
Dark Dimensions
9:54 PM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006
So I made a turkey yummy! Injected with Tony's creole stlyle butter marinade mmm mm mm
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Yep it's well injected with creole stlye butter and the outside covered with Tony's Chachere's seasoning. That is a great turkey. Smells good,but I forgot the bread. FORGOT THE BREAD!! AHHH
10:07 AM


Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The internet is mass advertising and thats not bad..So Im going watch digi life tv good bye
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Yes the internet is a big advertisment. Think about it. Making friends. Those friends introducing other friends. If your into poetry. Sharing your poetry links. Humor joke sites. Cool game sites. TomGreen.com. Digital life tv. All these great things. Then you just spread it around. Im almost confortable in my advertising world. So long as Im not being screwed. Now thats where things get interesting. So many of us can't determine real advertisement from fake,but lets just not click on banners. I never do. Unless I know where it leads and with that I hope you do that to. So yes Im going watch digi life tv and I just thought you should know I like advertising. At least the good kind.
5:33 PM

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Where have I gone. Years have passed. Time has moved on.
Current mood:  disappointed
Category: Blogging
Censored! So turn away if your ears may bleed of bad language. Thank you.


Where have I gone. Years have passed. Time has moved on.
But I feel I have only created a wave of hatred, pain, torment.
At least for those who know me. It seems I'm trapped. My means to be the one who trys to be nice. Who trys to give and who never wishes to cause anyone any trouble, or pain. I just end up doing the opposite and in the most oddest way. I never mean to do this. But I can only see  that is what I do. I can go back and play it over and and over in my head. Sometimes I see where I have faltered and tried again. But in the end I feel I have only relayed this path of destruction back in my footsteps and again I walk to recover the trouble and the mess I have made. Either against someone. Against myself. Financially or emotionally. But no matter it all comes crumbling back down.


Life

It seems i gained control
Everything is turning out great
Then it all crashes
Maybe minutes or even seconds
I can't seem to understand
Just when you thought all your troubles are gone
New troubles are staring in your face
Feeling like im trapped in a corner with no place to go
Just when you thought you was free
Thinking that everything was good
Then it all crashes right in front of you
Sometimes your alone you think everything will be great
But then it all crashes in your face
You are now trapped back in the corner this corner we call life
05-02-2002

See even then. Wow and to think. I don't bring this upon myself. If I could take back that day. If I could only FUCKING TAKE IT BACK!
11:03 PM

 Friday, April 14, 2006
My thoughts I-hop 04-03-06
Current mood:  curious
Category: Writing and Poetry
In the spoons reflection
I see myself staring back
Distorted in a blur of silver
FINE DINING! FAST FOOD!
Chaotic our world fast paced.
Thoughts rushing flowing
through me. Then suddenly
abruptly. It all ends.
She says to me.
More water ?
My thoughts had faded.
Gone, but then...
recaptured,rephrased,rethought
Words swirling within
dancing,holding,loving,caring
raping,killing...forgotten...
remembered..hatred, beauty,
grotesque,indulge,lost
recaptured,rephrased,remembered.
My thoughts for you.

12:06 AM

Friday, April 14, 2006
More people trying to make money off of Grand Theft Auto/Rockstar games
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
http://www.gamespot.com/news/6147626.html


Yea yea. Blame it on them all you wish. In the end it's your own fault. You lack the capacity to realize it was just a game. If your that dumb already Gta shouldn't of been in your hands. But thats not Gtas fault that you are an idiot and nor is it Gtas fault that cops got killed because some guy went psychotic on them. Actually if you ask me..Those cops probably had it coming,but  thats only speculation. I think It's Jack Thompson who pays off these people to do these things and then blame it on the game. Bleh
3:11 PM

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
How you say something to someone without feeling your lying ?
Current mood:  confused
Category: Blogging
Well Im thinking mainly on one level here. Usually I try not to be so paragraphical..If I may make up a word here..Lmao. See when I instant message someone. Usually I feel two sentence is to much for them,but say If they ask what are you doing ? Well if Im watching a show over the monitor. I usually would say tv..But what should I really say and if  I knew word was to spawn..Like example..How do you say Im watching Vblog..Ahh Im lost. But you understand where Im going. So yes. How do you do that without feeling your lying..Im watching tv..Yea :D
12:55 P

Saturday, April 29, 2006
New week new theme. Pictures of stuffed Animals. I won at the cinema the other night!
Current mood:  artistic
Category: Blogging
So I was at the cinema and though I don't have much money and I know those dam crane machines with the animals in them are a gip. Now and then though I do win. Honestly I can't say I ever lost more then I gained. Now the stuffed animals don't have value,but it costed 3 dollars for all three of these. Though the giraffe and the lion thing came together because the giraffe got stuck in it. Unfortunately/fortunately Meg loves the giraffe the one I didn't try to get. No matter the other two will be going to my baby nieces. But thats the picture theme for this week. I do hope you all enjoy. I know I did.
Currently listening:
Facelift
By Alice in Chains
Release date: 20 August, 1990
11:17 PM

Saturday, April 29, 2006
I bought the new Godsmack cd..Wtf is with all this ANTIPIRACY. Guess what I had the 2wks early!
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
So I been holding it back unless you had been the lucky few I told. Though I had the album two weeks in advanced anyways..Did I wish for it two weeks in advanced ? No I was searching mp3s and I had come across the album. Is it my fault that it had been leaked ? Nope. But was it wrong or right for a fan to wish to hear the new album earlier ? I don't think so,but though If I knew Godsmack said otherwise I would of not. However I did and I very much enjoyed it.
Now if copying the dam cd was such a fucking issue then why was it leaked. WHY WAS IT LEAKED! WHY WAS IT LEAKED WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY...Yes I'm repeating myself..But I'm sure it costed more money for them to print ANTIPIRACY BLAH BLAH BLAH ON THE CD THEN IT SHOULD OF..Also because of wasting all their precious time making that ANTIPIRACY LOGO..They did nothing to prevent the album from leaking TWO OR HOWEVER MANY WEEKS IN ADVANCED..I'll say two because thats how long I had it prior to and yes it is the full album..BLEH ON RIAA AND FBI. Oh and America!
I don't feel it is as Sully said it was. More of a blues type of album. Though I think it sounds like Godsmack and that kicks ass. All the songs are great and there is some good solo's on this album as well. Voodoo too thats great..Telling me it's all voodoo voodoo too..Though I don't think mainstream will singing that one as often as Voodoo..Hell they don't even sing spiral enough,or at all to even know the rest or the better and harder Godsmack songs..But if they must hear and like what they hear thats gain for Godsmack and thats good for me..So what do I have to complain about ? Well so I walk into Best buy which I'm begining to not have some a postive feel for..Mainly because I realize the mainstream vibe the place has and the negative vibe and wrong doings to the customers either via that Geek rip squad crap or the bundling and forcing of customers to buy nonsense..Though this alone is not why I have a complaint. Godsmacks new cd has this stupid scare tactic warning which I'm doubting was Godsmacks idea. However it is there and that can't be denied. On the back of the case it reads..FBI WARNING COPYING IS BAD! Technically and then THE WORST PART!!! Ok I bought this cd for me..I don't care a d@m sh5354t about your f**^&JH copying scare tactic bs. But on the cd and I'll let you see this for yourself. It's ridiculous and because of the case. I almost didn't buy the cd..How is that for profit..Scare the customers off. GO RIAA! You rule!

Anyways here is the cd..Oh it said not to copy..But oh well here it is.

Image shack no longer has the image ?

11:42 PM

Saturday, April 29, 2006
Writing about my new job. I park cars..Wow boring!
Current mood:  awake
Category: Blogging
Well another complaint..When do I not. :D Join the club. Anyways I have a new job. Unfortunately not the best paying job. But it's better then no job. Especially when the bills are due eh ? But I refuse. I shall go to six flags this year and though I maybe getting a job in road construction which I more then anything would dread..I hate the sun. I supposedly has good pay. That alone is worth it. But not worth my time. But I'll do it to pay the bills. I think about applying for some type of food job. Though I did one app or two. But my main focus is driving. About my new job. Well I learned it in about a day..Not really anything to learn. Boring boring boring..Though I got to drive some pretty nifty cars and the learning aspect of ways newer cars handle keys if they use keys thats right some cars do not use keys..Oh well technically they use keys but not the way you would no. Anyways beyond that. My job is pretty much running drive running drive. Break home. Yippeee fun! Oh yea and helping old people into vehicles. Lovely women,pregnant women,little kids,ugly women. Some guys. Big people,little people..You get the issue. The job is like any low wage job. You got to be this mad representive of a company that can care less about you. You have to be happy at all times and you have to be neat and clean! Yipee yea and all that other bs.  The one disadvantage is being valet..Being valet is being a waitress or a bellman. Anyone who makes tips gets the shaft by the company because well you get tips we don't have to pay you that much more because someone is going to tip you..Yea ok so we get tips that might or might not be given and we still work our fair share on that note we should be paid for what we work for and tipped for what we are tipped for. Not short changed by our bosses because they feel tips make up what we could be paid..Now if I break down the tips I make for one week that approx 60..On a good week. So lets see. I make 6.25 an hour. Thats just 50 a day and 250 a week. Though as I said. At least it's a job. I have to put up with the bs and I have to do as I'm told what not. The people are nice and the customers most of the time are nice to. I'm glad to be working again,but if someone from Milwaukee has a better job Idea I'll ditch it quickly thanks.

Currently listening:
Sap
By Alice in Chains
Release date: 21 March, 1995
11:47 PM

 Sunday, April 30, 2006
Meg and I had a good discussion the other day at the park.
Current mood:  curious
Category: Blogging
I could never say that me and Meg are two people that don't argue and don't have our problems. Though I believe that everyone does. I do think that I never would of thought these problems really could exist untill I put myself in this position. Being in love with someone in another part of the country and not knowing them is one relationship that you can't experience this type of life style. Having a girlfriend in Louisiana for a few days....as that normally would apply to me..Because those girls seems to not understand commitment or maybe I was to ahead of myself thinking that commitment was the right way to go. Maybe I was to mature at the age of 17..Maybe I wasn't. I'm going to say I wasn't. But that I really felt commitment was right. Though I met Meg when I was 19. It had been understood that our relationship was long term and not a few days. I never experienced anything like this relationship with Meg. I love her with all my heart. She is a wonderful person. But as I've mentioned with past relations I was either to bring up a problem or as a couple we never mentioned issues and so things would derail on their own terms and our world as two people came crashing. But thats prior relations. Well you never think about how,or what things can and possibly will happen in a relationship. Your not a psychic and you have no knowledge of the person you have willing to commit your life to. I know I have not. I knew Meg for two years and by all means she is and was and will always be a great person. But some things you don't think about or even think you would. In 2004 ? I almost left Meg. I didn't walk out and I didn't say good bye. Without letting her know I was gone. But I did pack my stuff before she got home. Uncertain and not sure with no place to go. I didn't wish to be told I would never get my stuff back. Not that I suspected Meg to say that. But how was I to know ? I also wasn't in the position of really feeling that I didn't wish to be with her. I just didn't know how to communicate or discuss my feelins and being afraid of not knowing how she would react I think in some ways I kept it to myself and the job I had at the time had really messed me up. It was long and boring. The pay was great..The job was miserable. I made 9.50 and hour to sit on my butt and rethread bolts all the long day long with smelly chemicals around me. Depressing,but it paid. I had alot to think about and at the time one of my main concerns was that Meg had wished I had gotten my Ged or that she wasn't interested in continuing our relationship later on. So though I maybe getting those wrong and if I'm mistake by all means Meg forgive me. But it was to that affect. It isn't that I wasn't going to get my Ged or that I didn't have ability to get it. I just didn't. I wasn't sure if I ever would nor do I feel I will even now. But knowing that and just for no real reason I just wanted to get away from our relationship. So I was going to leave her. But I didn't wish to leave her because I didn't love her, or that I felt she wasn't a good person. I just really had no explanation and though that Ged issue was a factor. I didn't know how to convey the message to her. Long story short I didn't leave her and we have picked up and our relationship has been alot stronger. I also have more confidence in her reactions. As well as knowing I can discuss matters with her without feeling I will not know her reaction. My reasons for writing this blog. Those of you I always mention that discussion should be a good thing to have in a relationship. I just wish that you can see that it can't always be so easy to speak what is on your mind. The other day I didn't wish to break up with Meg but the night before she has asked me if I did and what I felt about the relationship at the time I didn't really have much to say and nothing like that was on my mind. But at work with all the boring time. I had time to think and I was willing to change my answer. I thought that I would call her up and we could talk about our issues. So I did that. We went to the park and she was as lovely as she always was. Note I did not wish to break up with her. Just have a conversation about our life and our future. The sun was shining outside and the water was lovely. The park is one not near home,but I do like it. I like going to it. The weather was calm not to hot nor was it cold. We discussed our issues and how I'm usually the one to screw things up..No I'm being serious. I'm not trying to point the blame only at me. But we discussed that and we discussed that I don't know and nor does she know where our future lies. But Meg is a wonderful person and not someone I would ever wish to give up. On the other hand I feel I am myself alone and not wanting to be apart of everyday life and coming to be apart of this world of love and relation is great and not something I wish to give up. But then I feel that I'm two people and one person just wishes to be away from everyone and everything. Just silence and thought. A world away from everyone. But though I've built this relationship as well as she and together we have become one and we know each other and it's not something you can just walk away and think that everything is fine and I'm not willing to give it up all so suddenly. But we have talked about it and one day maybe in years to come It could change though it isn't something I would wish for,but I can't say for certain that It can last. Because I don't know and how am I to I'm not a psychic. But people please understand that though what I say sounds confusing it is how I am and I don't feel I myself understand my stupidity or how I could give up something so loving and wonderful. But I just like to always be here for everyone else and give my perspective of my world and our world me and Megs together. Because through our world you can see and experience and something that you otherwise normally don't see. Meg and I do share alot in common and we have alot of great times as well as memories and she is my only true and first really long loving together relationship and I could never be more proud and I don't ever wish to have another relationship outside of it this and never could there be one of this size or seriousness. Not at least from me. I'm glad she understands me and what I have to say and that I don't have to hide behind some white lie or lie in that matter. That I don't have to bottle up what I feel or how I see my world. I'm glad she accepts and loves me for who I am and that she unlike girls I've known where I live accepts me and does love me. Thank you Meggie. *hugs*
Currently listening:
Music Bank
By Alice in Chains
Release date: 26 October, 1999
12:02 AM

Sunday, April 30, 2006
Today/Tonight was a good night. Meg and I played Monopoly Meg made good food and snack!
Category: Blogging
I awoke this Morning..or more like yesterday morning at 4 something am. I had been up till about 9am where I went to bed. Meg was asleep and I was only going to sleep till 11am something. Well I told Meg about a concert that I had thought started at 12pm but also had cool skaters skateboaring. She didn't seem to accept the idea to much as it was early and she was sick..So I went to sleep thinking that we wasn't going to go and therefore 11am something came,but I said na I'll just sleep..Awake whenever.. I awoke around 350pm. Meg had cooked and had been up looking alot better then she had been in the morning. Well she asked why I slept and why I didn't go,but I thought she knew. Anyways she had cooked so I ate and sat with her. Together we watched Happy Days and that was cool. I think some of the time oh yea I was alone watching some construction show. That was ok,but wasn't like This old house..Which is better. But yes after that which I has been eating to. I later moved to the other couch/futon and thats when we watched Happy Days together and made out,etc so on so forth.. :D Yep. While still watching Happy days. Later on I can't remember everything but I did dishes and clean the kitchen. Meg later made a snack some type of good sweet stuff. While I was online and then we played Monopoly and I lost. Afterwards and since I been here online It's now 141am and Meg is watching cooking shows and me I have been a blogging. Yipee..It was time to catch up. I also read blogs,etc.
12:36 AM

Sunday, May 07, 2006
back up
Category: Blogging
If any of the fans of this band would like to check out other great bands. A great mix in variety. Ranging from accoustic music to death metal and anything between,above or below. We surely do have it at Rockers Underground. It isn't just the bands it's the places they are from. We are not your local scene we are the scene. A global domination underground rock group!

Btw we are also looking for a team of supporters.
Someone to do interviews at your own pace.
All of these positions are volunteer work.
As well as at your own pace.

So please support your local bands.

Hi I'm looking into putting banners up for all the bands at Rockers Underground. Will you have a banner sooner or later ?

    

Piedras Negras, Coahuila Mexico
ZULLU
Hardcore / Metal / Thrash
http://www.myspace.com/zzullu

Z E O'S M u s i c
Metal / Death Metal / Hardcore
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania United States
http://www.myspace.com/zeosmusic

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania United States
Burn To Ashes
Metal / Hardcore / Death Metal
http://www.myspace.com/burntoashes1

 Rhondda Valleys United Kingdom
 ZERO
Metal / Experimental / Thrash
http://www.myspace.com/geralamamoosic

Zenithrash
Metal / Death Metal/Black metal
Japan
http://www.myspace.com/zenithrash

YOBO
Metal / Alternative
Belgrade, Serbia ex-,Yugoslavia
http://www.myspace.com/yobo1

YOUR.DAYS.RUIN
Hardcore / Metal / Hip Hop
Yamba, NSW Australia
http://www.myspace.com/yourdaysruin

Zippy Guts
Rock / Metal
Liège,Belgium
http://www.myspace.com/zippyguts

Counterstrike
Metal / Metal / Metal
EAST PEORIA, Illinois United States
http://www.myspace.com/counterstrikemusic

Yesterday Today and Tomorrow
Hardcore / Screamo / Metal
MODESTO, California United States
http://www.myspace.com/yesterdaytodayandtomorrow

FAUST
Death Metal / Metal / Progressive
Italy
http://www.myspace.com/faustband2

Adam's Ruin
Metal / Metal / Metal
http://www.myspace.com/adamsruin

Psychoneedles
Rock / Alternative / Trip Hop
SALEM, New York
United States
http://www.myspace.com/psychoneedles

devil never even lived
Rock / Indie / Soul
Syracuse, New York United States
http://www.myspace.com/devilneverevenlived

N O T E S * to Wednesday
Metal / Grunge / Indie
PEKIN, Illinois
United States
http://www.myspace.com/notes2wednesday5

Thirteen Deep
Hardcore / Christian Rap / Shoegaze
New Iberia, Louisiana United States






I personally don't know much to say anything about anything as what may have happen between you to. Though I can only feel that I'm looking into your world and seeing bits and pieces at times. As you show them. But what happens I can't change. I can't comfort and I can't ever show my sympathy more then anything than in words. I've never met you and can only say that I know you're a caring and good person. Though I'm certain by all means that it would of been great to have been with you. Though with experience I've learned many things you know. I do still care about you. As a friend. But though as a friend you still will always be more to me. Not like some sick fantasy or some odd nonsense. But you understand ? I mean it is like a book that has never ended. Not relationship wise. But knowing you has only been part of what was us. But having the experience I've gained living and being with Meg. I've come to understand myself more. Complicated as it may sound. I've never told no one this but Meg. I wrote a blog explaining the situation. But not like I'm telling it to you. But as an x I feel you have the right to understand it to. I have come to understand that possibly I'm not relationship material. I know it sounds wierd and by all means Meg is a great person and just as you I would never consider to say otherwise. Sure we have had our difference and I wouldn't say otherwise. But I feel I'm two people. I'm Nolon someone who is capable and has shown the ability to be in a relationship with someone in a household. But then theres I just want to be alone and I don't want to be apart of a world with someone. Yet it's so confusing because one part of me wishes to be in a family and to be apart of the daily life of having a kid and loving someone. Then another part just wants to be left alone. Never to be in a relationship and thats just how I feel. I mean personally I think I would still dabble in meeting someone. But explaining that you know I'm not willing to go futher then possibly to the movies and bring you eat food. But no futher.  I never have lived with someone and been on my own like I have with Meg. I learn alot living with someone. I like it and yet I don't wish to be apart of either. You and me well we was still growing up. It was a different. I'm sure by all means that we would of done all these things. But though I have a question I wonder would you have rather it the way it was or the way it is here ? I guess thats almost a silly question. But then I don't know. I think I would of prefered it the way it had happen and yet I still wonder about what would of been. Though to have put you in the situation that Meg faces now. Because she understands and accepts that I may one day just tell her I don't wish to be apart of this anymore. Yet on the other hand what I'm saying is I'm glad I didn't have to face you with that question. Not that I'm feeling better I had to face Meg with it. Though It hurted and still hurts to know that I had left you and could of been a great person to you. But didn't and now I'm doing it all again. Though if I do go breaking her heart as well as I've told Meg I will not do it all over again. Relationships that is. I just can't be that person. I can't go on hurting people because I'm not sure what I wish for. Though being away for two weeks Meg has the knowledge and the capability of being alone and she has told me she can accept that. She nor I have ever lived on our own. Maybe I just need time away. I don't know. I mean with you it was different and breaking up with you wasn't because of this. But just that whole aspect and you know what Meg and I as partners have created I'm willing to give it all up just because I have no idea what I really want. See what complications you have not had to put up with me ? But once again if it had otherwise been I can't say I would of faced you with that question because I don't know that path and I never have walked it. I'm just glad that we had what we had and that what you have had over the past few years you have. I'm sorry that you are having a heart break. I'm glad I've had what I've had as well and I'm glad that as someone who has dated me you have always been apart of my life. As a girlfriend and later and before as a friend. I couldn't thank you enough for still being here. I know I write alot when I'm writing to you and I thank you for allowing me to say what's on my mind.
8:04 AM

 Monday, May 08, 2006
I think the podcasts was crashing my blog arrr!
Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Blogging
This is sorta what I say....
Thanks for listening broadcasting live from my living room. Just wanted to let you all know whats going on today. I went to work this morning as usual did my job and went on break ate some sandwiches read this book that someone left at work. On my way home today I picked up a Moolatte from Dairy Queen. Then when I got back to my car. I called Meg and let her know that they made the Moolatte a lot better then at the Dairy Queen in West Bend, Wi. Since she had other plans then to be in school all day as she was supposedly going to be. She said she would like one to because she was home at the time. So I brought her a Moolatte as well and she also enjoyed it. Since I been home I been relaxing. Meg didnt like that I have private blogs..but f you all just read the titles you will see Im hiding nothing from you. As Ive said before I usually will not hide anything from anyone. When I say usually its great percentage. If I feel someone will not be comfortable about something I just wont mention it. So thats how that works. But the title pretty much just lets everyone know its back up stuff. When we went to baby sit Megs moms dog. I had done some work on Rockers Underground and thats where I stored the information. Figured no one needed to see the data. Sorry about that. I do hope you all are enjoying the mad pictures I put up. As well as the ones with my loving girlfriend. She treats me so well. Im glad to have her around. She is a great cook and is a great person. We get along well. I cant say I could ever see myself without her. But thats what is happening today and sooner or later Ill fall asleep. Maybe Ill watch Becker tonight and possibly do other things online. Good bye good night good morning and or whatever it maybe wherever you are in the world.
4:06 PM

 Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Dege Legg of Santeria couldn't say it better. Read on!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
I was listening to Santeria and you know Dege is right. I guess I got to find a way to make some money soon. Yes because I'm broke and I'm in a weird way happy about it. You know why ? I just gave up. I can care less about anything. Especially right now. I'll take this road where it leads me. Maybe on the way I'll get hit by a car. Then I'll die and no one will ever have to be bothered by me. Sounds like a good idea. Time and time again. Continues doesn't it ? It just doesn't stop! Life moves on and where does it really lead and do we really have a choice ? Do we really make our own paths ? I'm not sure but I'll take this road and follow it and where it leads I'll follow and maybe I'll get hit on the way who knows. But for now I'll just think and wonder about the future.

Listening to
Papa Roach
Santeria- Strung out on a dream


Btw I'm not sucidal. These are random thoughts. Don't you ever think ? Don't you ever wonder ? I'm just thinking. I think it could happen. Many things could happen. Like the apartment catching on fire by some random idiot. Normally I'm the idiot. Maybe some plane will come flying down into our home. Meg will be saved though.

8:40 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006

Thoughts that has been on my mind. Some interesting. Some serious.
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
Beauty of landscaping not nature..It sounds rather like I'm saying I would enjoy that right ? Not exactly I feel thats the view of Americans..Beauty of landscaping not nature..Hell even our parks our landscaped. Nothing is untouched by humans. I hate it. I hate going to work and seeing the beauty of what we create and not what comes natural. It's like taking someones work of art and tearing into and making it your own..Nothing says beauty like landscaping..

Lets move on shall we.

Money should go digital..Think about it. Our country must loose money to make money..Why not invest in making money go digital. Honestly imagine it. Never having to deal with coins and dollars. Just plastic. Some of you are scared of the idea. I'm for it. So long as it is secured. I also want to be implanted. I want something that can track my buying history. I want something to show me a monthly report of what I buy and where. That way I can do annalization of what I buy more of,etc. Where is my weakness and what should I stop doing..Sure I could do it all on paper...But what if things where bar coded and you had a lcd screen or something embeded in you..Good concepts. I also want to be implanted for other reasons. Think of it as pure simplicity.


Lets move on shall we.

I believe there are other ways to make cars run than going Hybrid. I believe that the gas companys and car makers are making cars hybrid so that they can still profit and suck all the oil out therefore they can go on destroying the world with their harmful chemicals and ways to gain these chemicals..I believe there is a better alternative and we are just ignoring it..But though we shall Daniel Quinn couldn't of said it better.

Lets move on shall we.

I believe the pledge of allegiance is unfair. It's ironic isn't it ? We the people. Freedom. A country based on freedom and yet really if you ask me I think it should be A country of lies and deception..I mean thats really what we are based around. The Pledge was written by White folk for white folk. Now maybe thats ok and we are hard core Americans and fight for our fathers..Our slave trading. Raping,killing,Slaughtering,Theieving fathers..Yea sure sounds like the people I won't to worship..Sure they sorta had a good thought that we should all be   equal and free and thats fine with me..I respect that..That sounds like a good idea..But if we going to be and certainly they brainwashed us all enough to make us free and equal but we all know some of us still can't live free and  equal even after all these years..Which has not been many years now has it. But though I usually don't care less about your God being in the pledge..Not my concern. It is my concern that your pledge is for the people the equal free people and thats not fair..Because those people are of the white race..Not the spanish,indian..if we shall call them that bad wrong term,blacks or whatever nice term you supposed to use. I'm not certain..Is it color or black..Either way no disrespect towards you. I feel there is alot of other documents that are not fair and have only been written by whites for whites..We are not a white country..We are a blended country..That in which you the whites have created..Surely I'm white but could care less about my color.


Lets move on shall we...

Now here we will talk about something that might contradict the pledge idea..However it's ANNOYING!

English learn to speak it. We the whites have brainwashed enough people to do so..So when I go to a store and I ask for something. I demand you speak to me as a majority not a minority..I do wish to be able to communicate with you..I don't expect to go to France and communicate with them..nor do I expect you from another country to come here and communicate with me..So if you work in this country it would surely be very helpful that we can communicate and that is for certain because If I'm getting gas and you can't come out and tell me you wish for me to pre-pay yet you can't even put a dam sign up saying pre-pay and hell if you can't speak english draw some dam figures..show me what you wish for me to do..Instead of having me stand outside by a gas pump looking clueless and when I go inside and ask if two of your gas pumps are broke you look at me and say pre-pay all dumb and stupid..Don't do that speak english!

Lets move on.


Idiot people I swear I hate you.

If a sign says something like handicap and you don't know what the word means..Don't park there..You don't know what it means..It could possibly mean your going to be towed and fined..Don't park there.Yet you do WHY WHY WHY ? Seriously because something says something you don't understand you park there because you don't understand what it says..Wtf ? Thats idiotic DON'T DO IT. Hell if you park in a hazard zone..I hope you get caught up in some crap falling on your car..Then hopefully that will teach you..But it isn't only these people..I was at Six flags today and it's a no smoking place..Just like my work place which is outside and inside...If your standing by a sign that says no smoking and has a picture hell I do hope you understand that picture...Don't do it..Don't smoke there DON'T DON'T DON'T..! People stop being idiots..How hard is this ? Honestly and when I tell you that you can't smoke here go home or something I mean it...Stop getting all angry..I hope al you smokers die a slow and painful death..Especially if your stubborn..You get mad because they say no smoking..But if we went in your house and did things you didn't like or we went some place you had and did things around it you didn't like you wouldn't like that would you ? WELL DON'T SMOKE WHERE WE SAY NOT TO..ESPECIALLY IF WE HAVE A MILLION SIGNS UP AND SIX FLAGS HAS A MILLION SIGNS AND ALSO SAYS SPECIFICALLY ON ALOT OF BROCHURES DON'T DO IT! Now you idiots who still try to order at reastraunts when they are closed and they cut the lights out Honestly your dumb.

Thats all for today enjoy!
9:44 PM

 Monday, May 22, 2006
New writings. Diseased and Choice not an option. Censore
Current mood:  determined
Category: Writing and Poetry
So some of these have been in the works. While others I'm just going to write at this moment. So I hope it all works out. Though none of them are complete but will be as I put them here. But that doesn't mean they can never be changed.


Diseased was just written.


Diseased

A body of pure beauty
Waves of power rushing foward
Stretching for miles
I want to touch you
I want to get inside you
Feeling your powerful thrusts
Yet I'm scared
Scared of what you've become
It wasn't your fault
You never had a choice
They used you
A lake of pure blue beauty
Diseased by the one who loves you
The one who welcomes you
The one who smiles and greets you
Who feels calmed and rested in peace
When seen all that you hold in beauty
Though they neglect you
Ignoring your beauty and wanting more
They relish in your powerful thrusts
But plunge their sewage and waste into you
Leaving you filthy and diseased

This writing is to all who never had a choice
Don't read if you are senstive or censored.

Some of the working titles

His wrath still destructs
Time doesn't heal
Nothing left to mend
Sad childhood memories
Childhood memories wished to be forgotten
Choice never was an option


Nothing can heal
Invisible wounds.
Emotional pain
brought by childhood memories.
What happen can't change.
Emotional pain it still brings
No one can understand
scars left but not seen.
These tears still fall
like rainy days that won't quit.
I'm not one but many.
We are..
The birth of child
A mothers daughter.
I'll mention those who bring pain.
Those who have no right.
Those who should die
a slow horrible death!
Our fathers,grandfathers and priest.
But yet they walk among us.
They have done unspeakable acts
unto those of youth.
Don't be mistaken.
It isn't all of these men.
Only some of them.
There are the good ones.
There are the bad ones.
Some feel that by the power
of God they will be free of
these unspeakable acts
they have commited.
These men feel these
ladies should keep quiet.
Silence they say.
Never tell no one.
But I say don't be ashamed.
Speak the truth.
Speak your words.
Don't let them silence you.
We are tha daughters of mothers.
Who also have been neglected.
Abused by our own familes.
You all are not one.
But together many.


I wrote this and I don't know. I think I can still work on it. I had changed alot and thankfully as I had expected I would come up with new and other ideas when typing t. I did and thankfully here it is. Is it done ? I think so. But should it be ? I'm not sure. I want to say I also wrote this because of 2pac..Yea laugh. But 2pac once had a good idea and though his idea failed. I feel in a sense he saw things as I did. My question now is how do I really bring this subject or how do you portray something like this so that It can help others either feel released from the pain or help those who may think of doing it not do it. See I wrote alot of things that show abuse and neglect thinking seeing would make it stop. As 2pac once did. But it seems it doesn't work that way and the media as well as others don't see that portrait. At least for Tupac/2pac he viewed the ghetto as a means to portray it and therefore hoping by exposing he would end it. But yet it didn't work that way and the media played it out that he was a mean person or that what he was showing was viloent and wrong. Believe me it was viloent and alot of the times wrong..But thats the whole point..But they saw it differently like he was trying to say go one do it do it..THATS NOT THE MESSAGE I'm trying to portray in some of my older writings. I'm only saying see this it's wrong it's wrong it's wrong. Don't you see the person crying out for help ? Don't you see the wrong doing in all this ? Well so after watching the 2pac resurection film. Which was more like watching poverty and learning how the ghetto is bad. I thought about it. I think I'm not getting that message clearly and so I wrote this as a means to think that maybe it sounds better or can be viewed better.
2:20 PM

 Friday, May 26, 2006
Cheaters also as killers should be tortured and killed!
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
Damit you know there is an exception. I mean if you wish to tamper with your game or cheat on your own time fine. DO SO ON YOUR OWN TIME! Cheating in multiplayer games is a NO NO! It is like the real world..One bad apple spoils the rest..Every time you cheat us the legit players..Those non-gamers..Thats legitamate meaning people who don't cheat. Anyways when cheaters cheat. The legit players get the bad loot. Meaning we can't even trade in game with other players..Because their loot might possibly be created by some player and not earned by a player..Not gained in game..Money dupes..Where you can make your own money and make alot..Thats wrong and makes the econonmy bad in the game..DON'T DO IT..I'm telling you some of you deserve the death penalty and sometimes worst..You say I won't do it again..You never should of done it at all.You are not messing with your game..When you buy multi-player you mess with a world of peoples games..DON'T DO IT! Dam you people are idiots you know. I really can't see the point...OMG I GOT TO RAISE MY SCORE AND BE SO COOL...BY CHEATING..Honestly is there a point ? Do you really feel you got authority now ? Do you really feel you accomplished that ? *sigh* No matter. I can argue and complain all day..No one is listening. It's like I say. I'm talking to a wall and the echos just play back to me..I can only shake my head and wonder.


http://gamesfirst.com/?id=1342
7:21 PM



Friday, May 26, 2006
One of those posts where I tell you about my daily life weeee!
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
Thought I would take some time away from music..Well not exactly but to an extent..I got some of the things I wanted done. Now I still have a tremendous amount left. But just wanted to say hello.  Thanks to music. It is my intervention to everything I despise. But thats just how I feel. I left work today and was supposed to be going see some of our local bands here. However when I got to the bank they chose to deny handing me over the cash. Even though I have an account there. In Ville Platte the deal always was..You got an account we will cash the check..If you don't we will charge you to cash it. Now when I moved here my first bank was West Bend Saving..Friendly people. Great bank and never caused me any issues. However since moving to Milwaukee. There is no small town bank. There is M and I. Marshel and Isley..Something like that..Some great rich group..Well so I joined their bank because my g/f had an account. I didn't know this even when I signed up..But say you have 50 in your account your check is 200..Well they won't cash it. So if you got paid at work forget it..So where do you go ? So see my problem ? Now I'm just getting off of work. I need to get home and take a shower..But I'm stuck here arguing with this lady who doesn't want to cash my check and doesn't give me other options except to put it in the bank and no I want my cash. Well I said no give me my check. I then asked her where the next bank close by was and then I said I'm closing my account. Sure she was a worker and that won't affect them..But no matter. The bank I'm now going to be using will cash my check no matter what is in bank account. So bleh on M&I bank! But then another problem arose. Now it's already to late to get to the concert because I need to go create that new bank account and close the other..But then when I go to my car It doesn't start..So yea..Thats my day..Work wasn't so bad though. So this is kind of a two part story. Now It is Tuesday night close to late early Wed morning. My car just got in the shop. I had helped out my friend with her pc I do hope today over the internet. Then we went to Slinger to drop off my car..I got it started...RARRR THE POWERS OF GRAVITY AND MY STONG LEGS! I pushed into starting..Oh yes thank those for standard vehicles..So now my car is there. I got my bank account closed today,.Those idiots tried to cause me more trouble..I'm not explaining but trouble..I beat them with my godly sword of sweat..No thats a joke..Anyways then I went made my new account..They gave me 10 dolla free yea I said ten dolla..Not dollar..Free so I could go to Starbucks and drink myself a cold coffee while I think about my old bank..This bank also sucks..But it's suck is like a women..well it is only half worth what the other was..At least I can get my cash when I cash my check..Otherwise I have to put the Noloco smash down..Um yea..So yea thats my day..Oh and work was kicking fun because it was raining and we got to play in the rain..Otherwise it was another wasted day wasting away making low pay..You know a Starbucks drink costs about what I make per hour..Thats sad..I work real hard..Hell I bet Starbucks workers make better then I do just to whip up a coffee ain't it sad ain't it ? Today I didn't even eat lunch. I slept it was good to sleep. I like sleep. Rest is like the ultimate thing..Imagine..you never knew you died and you was asleep..See you wouldn't remember bang your out..Wouldn't that be good..Ok I'll be quiet I'm just saying gees don't freak out..Omg that boy got issues....Ah haha.
8:02 PM

Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Entrapment a new writing 05-30-06 Some thought writing as well.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Writing and Poetry

This entrapment keeps me
Blinding me,confusing me
My choices lost to lust and love
My reality shrouded by choices
Choices I chose
Entrapment it has me
Locked into this chaos
I've created for myself
This world I've shaped and molded
But these choices I've made
I begin to wonder was it to soon
This entrapment holds me
Binding me and twisting me
Shaping me,creating me
Making me who I am
These choices I chose
These rights and wrongs I've created
In the end who was it far ?
Who suffered ?
We make our world
We shape our world
We entrap ourself into things we can't control
But unlike a movie we try to understand
But there is no pause
There is no rewind
There is no way to change
The choices you have made
There is no way to turn away
This entrapment you chose
By the choices you make




If I could change
Many things I've done
Many things I've said
If I could find that one wrong move
Those choices and mistakes
If I could take it all and change it
Would I ?
10:29 PM


Friday, June 02, 2006
Oh my oh my oh my. I sure love me some Underground Music.
Current mood:  impressed
Category: Blogging
Music plays one big role in my life and if  I had my way music would never stop playing. If I had my own home. The outside the inside would be wired. Music would be on a non-stop play list..Although there would be quiet time for things..But when the music plays it shall play. I'm really enjoying Myspace so much for it has given me some of my old friends back and a chance to get to know other friends that I only knew some what in school. But even more so is that Myspace the music community is so huge and I hope it never changes. Unless something else could take over Myspace. I'm really glad to have the capablity that Myspace has allowed Rockers Underground to become. Our community is huge by numbers never before imagined. Surely it isn't what I expect if anything as far as the supporters. Thats one problem. I love so much music. I don't have enough people enjoying it as well and most of them that do. Also have their own community. Which is great. More community means more music. I'm proud to see the Underground world progress and has done so over the  years more and more online and thats a plus for the bands. Via Myspace or the old Mp3.com No matter music will flourish. I'm thinking of opening an Irc music distribution for Underground free of charge music. But of course I do hope you all do your best to buy what the bands have to offer. I certainly try and what I can't I do my best to make up in support.
8:34 PM

Monday, June 12, 2006
It's nice to have a Mp3/Cd player and here is why!
Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Blogging
Sorry I have not been keeping up with telling you all about my life..To tell you the truth it's the same old same old. Anyways lets talk about the subject..As it is what matters. So I just burned..Might add free legal mp3's tp one of my old cdrw's that had porn on it..Yep but see the thing is after It almost got done burning I did AHHH! I burned it as data..Then I smiled and realized I didn't need to burn it as audio and better off Mp3's take alot less space..So the nice thing is that I have a mp3/cd player..So it didn't matter which way I burned it..So now I'm going wash dishes while listening to live podcasts from 1up.com and http://thisweekintech.com/ as well as music by Dege Legg TrailerVille and well ok so maybe this was illegal but hey oops I'm sorry. I love it..It's the song that plays on Mrs Draculas profile. Oh I was thinking of bringing the laptop to work one day and watch Dl.Tv while it was still 6am But I dunno. Probably not..Though yea this would be good. Burn some podcasts and just listen to that..Something to kill the time. Something of interest. Hmm seems my color scheme is a bit off..I'll have to see about it.
6:18 PM

 Tuesday, June 13, 2006
It's 2006. Yet I feel people no matter their education level..Idiots idiots all over!
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
First off I'm always against bashing any one religion..But always remember I quit believing in God after realizing I had to many questions and we as Catholics had to be restictred from questioning. Questioning is bad! But thats incorrect as look at where we are. What we have achieved in such a short span of time. We have evolved..But yea the majority of us are still stupid. Blinded by our beliefs and our cultures. Blinded by censorship and what really is censorship ? So no I'm not here trying to convert anyone. I'm not here saying what I'm saying is right..But I will say that I'll back my claim up 99 percent over any belief,culture,or censored lifestyle.


I'll try my best not to light a flame of curse words and death threats here. First off I just wish to say it all started as always at Digg.com. Where I came upon an article of Grand Theft Auto being sued AGAIN! I don't have a high school diploma. I may not have finished school. I may at times be a bit immature..But I do have common sense. I understand when it's time to be mature and how to many religons as well as censored people get away with way to much. It isn't by any means fair.  I think we have lost something along the way. Blind by our media and our beliefs as well as our cultures. Some of us can't erase and refuse to move on into the realm of common sense. Into the world of reality and out of the world of make believe. Opening our minds and coming to terms with things we otherwise feel we should be ashamed to say or see. It has been proven over and over that sexual activity is good for you..It has been proven many times over that some of the most vial words came from the most common used words from the past that some how got distorted into what we believe as bad words. Violence..Though it is right and ok and fine to show if it is a war we are fighting..It is right to show torture to the Iraqs that we cause and it is ok to show people jumping out buildings when our country is under attack..Thats all fine and dandy and by all means doesn't have any ratings..But no one blames the media for sucides and shootings. No one blames religion..But certainly everyone hopes and prays that they are saved in a war no matter what side. If it a kid accidently finds poison and feeds himself it..No one blames the poison maker or especially the mother..Nope no one is blamed..Oh dear child It was an accident..That is full of it. Passion of Christ gets an R rating..But Grand Theft and Oblivion gets mature ? What gives ? Honestly ? I just really don't understand.. I know no matter how much and no matter what I say I'm pretty much talking to myself.But I've come to accept I do that alone..Maybe I'm insane..Oh well I like complaining and though I'm being very serious about what I'm saying here..This bothers me beyond the point of sanity. I just can't grasp the understand of how this goes on..Who do we blame when the priest rapes kids ? Who do we blame for the mass killings that was done to the rascist term Indians ? Or the fact that we forced them into learning our language and refusing to let them learn their own as well as forcing to forget their cultures,beliefs and what not...But yet in the end who is all ways at blame ? Games games games..Seriously. Everyone attacks the things I like..I know I know you can say it about religion but at least there is evidence against some of the things that goes on in religon and certainly I can't say by any means that a game can't influence or train someone to kill someone. What I'm saying is if your kid goes out and plays a game and ends up killing someone..It isn't the games fault..Your kid was an idiot all alone and what about the parents ? Who really knew those people or the kids that kid might of met ? I mean interesting story. Last night I was watching the religion channel and they was going off bashing Columbine..Note I don't have any happy go lucky feelings that these kids did what they did..But I don't think by any means they was wrong for what they did..If and I say if only if those kids did something wrong..However we would all be foolish to say that if that was the case..Because there is a problem..Those boys went in there and took out people for no apparent reason and thats wrong..If it would have been me..Which I have played some violent games in my day..But if it would of been me and not I have common sense so I wouldn't of..However if and if I do mean if..I would of taken out those I knew did me wrong..Not just mass slaughter to the school. Ok fine they listen to Ram Stein or however that name is for that band that speaks another language..Yes they listen to Kmfdm and Manson..I listen to all these bands as well. You don't see me running around slaughtering people. I as well played alot of the games they played..Those boys was pissed off..But they had no sense and I hate to know how there parents was..But the fact comes down to at the end of the program the preacher guy was like songs can harm and some songs can do good..What was he trying to say ? Listening to songs that are about a fairy tale God is right and telling people that fags go to war to die and thats because God made it so ? What is that ? I mean honestly ? Just because two men sleep together doesn't make it wrong..What you think because they are made close to the same they can't enjoy each other ? You think that for some reason other animals don't do this as well ? You would be totally wrong..Animals all across the globe do this..It isn't wrong..I'm not saying I wish to be with a man..Not my thing..But if thats their choice let them do it. Doesn't mean you have go running off to a dead gay guys funeral screaming God did this because your sons a fag..Thats evil evil evil..I hope you religous freaks that believe that do go to some hell..But that won't happen because it's right in Gods eyes ? I mean once again I can't stress it enough..I'm not saying a song or a game can't trigger suicidal or crazy thoughts..I'm saying if the game did it something else would of done. If your crazy your going to be crazy no matter the situation. Is it your fault that your crazy ? Possibly but sometimes you just end up in the wrong family and that can't be helped does that mean you should go to hell because your mom was beating you while your dad was raping you so you turned out to be someone who killed yourself which is wrong in Gods eyes ? Things like this don't make sense. But as I said yes Games,Music can more then likely make you crazy..No wrong..You are crazy..These games might possibly trigger your crazier side earlier..But seriously I listen to some of the most psychotic lyrics and come up with some crazy stuff.Doesn't make me a bad guy..Most people I know like me. They think I'm a great guy. Alot of people come to me for advice. Not because I'm going to tell them God is going to make everything ok..Not because I'm going to tell them games and music is wrong and you shouldn't listen to. It's because I'm open for discussion and try not to be judgemental at anytime..But I'm human and I can't say it won't happen. Though I wish to also talk about censorship and how it makes no logical sense to say certain words are bad and others are good. I could go into the learning situation of explaing the words origin,etc..But I'm not. But what I will do is prove the silly nonsense we call censorship..I'm going to say a few sentences like You know what I think those who don't believe in God is wrong..See that was exceptable right ? Now we change it up just a slight bit..Don't worry I won't use the words..Simply observe how it really doesn't change..Just a use of different words. You know what I .... think of those who don't believe in God ? See now same sentence just a little slight change. Here is one of those situations where you are mad..But you won't curse because IT'S TERRIBLE EVIL WRONG RARR! I really hate that idiot you see how he just cuts in front of me and didn't even use his turn signal ? See thats acceptable right ?
Ok so then lets change it up note nothing really changes..In our minds it's just evil bad wrong,etc so on and so forth. I really hate that .... idiot you see that son of... how he just cuts in front of me and didn't use his.... signal ? Censorship is simply silly. Actually these words should be accepted amongst us as they simply do one major thing. Thats express. Emote feelings..Oh yes but you just showed how to use in vial mean ways..I know I know..Hold on I'm getting to the wonders of using it in happy ways as well. But note two sentences one wrong one right..Well both right but one consider wrong because of our silly silly ways. So here goes again..Now the happy way..Woa I just found 30 dollars on the ground sweet! See acceptable right ? Now lets do it the mean cruel evil way ok ? So here goes.. Holy ....I just found 30 dollars on the .......ground ...straight! Now I also would do more..But either you got the point or you still debating that I'm wrong and it isn't possible..But though I know religous people don't believe in evolution or some of them don't..But here is a thought..Lets pretend we are born away from those beliefs and thoughts right ? So we are closed off from the media the mainstream and all those things..Would we still grow up feeling this way ? Would you understand that these words are wrong ? Did you know that in some countries it probably is acceptable and they don't know the difference ? Would you think that growing up on an island where it was hot all the time people wouldn't wear clothes and it would be acceptable ? Would be able to accept that is actually is possible to walk naked in front of others with no real sexual feelings ? It really is. But we have one problem..Deception,Belief,culture,mainstream,censorship..You choose the choice they all play apart. I just wish people would wake up stop playing these mind games and keeping their minds closed to their so called reality..Believing in their so called God and thats fine you know worship who you wish and stuff but make some logical beliefs...I mean you can't tell me If I had you in my grip and there was a cliff and I said either choose to live or accept that God would help you now you wouldn't choose to live ? You know God would not help you..I could do this to everyone in the world and he wouldn't move a notch..Maybe he got so big up there in the sky..Ok ok I'll stop. But seriously. I would like to end this with a very civil video about how Wonder women got kicked out of E3. We are a silly nation with silly beliefs and logics..Though some of us go to school complete it up to the last grade and then go onto college..We still shake our heads in disbelief about sex before marriage. Sex with the same sex. Censored words being used all the time. Naked people. Violent games.Which have been playing for years..Though they have made a major graphical leap..Doesn't mean by any means that Astroids..You thought you was playing with barbies..You knew you was shooting something. Abortion is wrong... Yet I could go on..I'll stop. You get the point. You choose logic when needed for the jobs you choose and the life you lead. You move into maturity yet you still let stupidity and your closed minded beliefs rule you..But your the major in college and the high school grad and me well I'm just Nolon completely idiotic working lame ass jobs and once I even tried to move into a career with all my work and effort I'm still nothing..But I'll preach and complain my thoughts and advice and real logic..While you live in your big mansions ruling over the ones trying and have made more money then you..Like those who made Grand theft auto and certainly I could go into why this isn't a video game..But is..But I've done that just find the blog. I could bring up many various reasons to prove you all wrong on so many levels..But I'm not. I'm just going to try to sink my thoughts into your higher educated brains and some of you let me make it clear some of you are just as dumb as me but yet have the same non logical thought set as these idiots..But the point I'm trying to make is that no matter your talents and your capablity to be smart some of you still let the little things rule you and control you..But it is so wrong and so stupid. I know I've repeated myself many times here..But I'm trying my hardest..People you need to think..You need to open up to the world around you..Break down the walls that hold you and free yourself...Otherwise nothing will ever change..But the way it seems I don't think nothing will ever change anyways. Thank you all who managed to get this far. Have a nice day.

http://www.rubyfilmz.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=169
Currently listening:
Spit
By Kittie
Release date: 11 January, 2000
7:03 PM

Thursday, June 15, 2006
Good night good night good bye and yes it's night don't even. Tom was great!
Current mood:  happy
Category: Blogging
Tonight was a good night..It was also a night that will go down in history..As tonight was the first on air live talk show straight from Tom Greens house..It was a really good show tonight..Minor technical difficulties..But remember people this isn't profession. This wasn't about cuts and worries..This was live and uncut...No censor and just anything went you know..It was good to see Tom back live and I'm happy for him..Besides Tom I've also tried to push myself back towards Emule and my poet friends which I've come to neglect at times..But I never mean it..As always this here that there..So much going on. I would like to thank Meg for the great soup she made the other night. I would also like to thank her for sugesting to pick strawberries. It was good to be back in the country..But even better to eat wild organic fruit and I would also like to thank her for putting them in the muffins and though she is probably not feeling well that I'm not in bed yet..I just wanted to write a thought of how I feel because it's a night to be remembered and I'm happy. I would like to thank Wendy for finishing off the truth behind meat..Because everyone loves that meat in their icebox.. I do hope I get hired. I went apply at low wage bs jobs today..But hey it's a pay cut. I do believe I will make good money in the future and I believe I'll become a better person finacially but I won't go into details and I won't elaborate..Though I will improve on my life as I am now..I would also like to thank myself for being more into habits and not putting off brushing my teeth as I used to note poem<---everyone ignore that. The poem thing..It's an idea I had and now I remembered..So I'll remember when I read this. So yes now I shall depart to my chamber of well my white wall area that I sleep in..Good night everybody. So long..

I'm listening to Nailwound because otherwise we would all die..No really it's just Rj is a kick ass singer and his band members are great.
10:57 PM

 Monday, June 19, 2006
I'm scared of these so called Genpets..
Category: Blogging
http://www.genpets.com/index.php
Sigh I didn't read alot but these things are supposedly real..Who the hell turns a bunny into a glowing bunny ? Thats just psyhco..Anyways check out the link..I wrote to many bulletins people complain because their to dam lazy to check the view all buttons because their life is to much important than to read all their friends bulletins..Note I do not read all my friends bulletins for the majority it is usually crap...exam being stupid polls,dumb fowards about this and that,etc. .I'll do the surveys and only certain ones...Not much for that whole x survey thing
7:57 Pm


 Saturday, June 24, 2006

Stop bashing on the Emo kids. STOP! It isn't funny at all.
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
Please note I did not use any coarse language..Not because I feel I'm better then others. But because I instead opted for language that everyone can agree. Because as always that childish thing we call censorship I don't agree with either...But though as I respect the Emo's I also respect others choices not to have to read through words they would rather not have heard.

I've stood I watched and I'm tired of it. I don't want to see anymore. Especially from my friends. It's messed up you know. I mean we the ones who have been picked on tormented and called devil worshipers amongst the many other choices of words people chose to use because of their judgement upon us because we wasn't trying to follow their trends. When we was in school and now I'm seeing this same thing from the ones who was caused issues in school..STOP IT..Your no more or less then the Emo kids. But you're acting like a prep and it's pretty annoying. Please note it doesn't mean you should pick on the prep kids either..You are better then this. There is no need to throw remarks at people because you think better of yourself and not them. They have their choices and their beliefs and their taste in music and thats fine with me and should be with you to. SO STOP PLEASE! Now once again I've had my hand it and made jokes all the same but not to the extent some of you carried and all along I've tried my hardest to understand it. I've tried my hardest to defined it. I've tried my hardest to see and I've come to realize maybe I'm getting old and this is the kids who are now being tormented and hated on for their choices and it's wrong. So please do me a favor and yourself and think about this for a moment. Your doing what you didn't want others to do when you was a kid and what right do you have trying to act like the great wonder in society who is going to cast your hatred upon those kids. STOP IT! This is just like Americans and I don't appreciate it. But some of you don't appreciate me hating America or Americans even if I'm one. I don't care. I have a voice we are Americans. If you have forgetten. This is just like some religions who have come to consider by force is the only way to make others be us. We are above that and we have a higher standard then this bs. So please I'll continue to say it STOP IT! You don't like what they do or their music or their dress style just ignore it thats all you have to do.
It's one of many topics I been meaning to blog on. But I just hate that you know it's ironic that freaks,goths,rockers,grunge, and punks are bashing the Emo's for their style and choice in music..Like the preps always do to us..I mean honestly what is that  ? Kind of  funny irony if you ask me. Personally I don't take that very well. Posts about Emo hair cuts and beat up emo kid days,etc It's just stupid I mean we as the ones who always get bashed on shouldn't be bashing others for their choice and it's pathetic that people are doing it. I want to see a change because it's not funny anymore it's pathetically sad..I  at always felt that I was able to get along with others no matter their choice in whatever it is..Music,religion,politics,etc. So long as we don't go into certain topics we both can't agree on. Now I do find it a little strange that boys are wearing 80's womens pants that are tight and meant for women..But thats their choice..Doesn't mean I have to agree with it or post Emo kill day or whatever one of those posts was awhile back. What are you all trying to be GAY BASHERS TO AND I GUESS ABORTION IS WRONG AS WELL ? BECAUSE WE ALL NEED MORE PEOPLE TO OVER POPULATE THIS POLUTED WORLD.
9:56 PM

Friday, June 30, 2006
So life moves on but the world keeps dragging me under
Current mood:  disappointed
Category: Blogging
So tonight I awoke to find that I now have another big fee to pay. On top of that tomorrow I'll add another pile to that. I have come to accept this state of finacial debt and like it or not. I have felt to embrace it. Though I maybe in debt it makes no dam different to me..If only someone would step up to the plate and offer me a job. Though I guess by all consideration. No one wants to hire a dumb ass right ? Yes I know. Well whatever they wish. So long as I can throw cash as the ones who need it. Move on from all I owe and get a more responsible reality with my money. Not some nonsense credit debt. I'd like to point here for a moment and say this is exactly what I mean. See I knew having a credit card was a bad thing..Though let me stress that doesn't mean I'm not capable of realizing the responsibilities to pay it off. I fully understand it. I'm also willing to pay it off. But let me say that before I ever touched credit. I knew it as a bad thing. I knew my own consequences for the things I have done. It is just as it was in school. There was two doors out. One door was down the path where you are looked down upon because you didn't finish school and you don't have a high school diploma. The other door let to the opp of going to college and if not then most likely your cheap ass was about as good as someone without an education. Unless you had been willing to spend money to go to college. Where education isn't cheap and they love to rape anyone who comes in contact. Because they will make sure to leave you broken and sore when it's all said and done and so be it. You don't want to take certain classes. You have no choice. Beyond those which are required..They have to throw in some more to fill in the time that is meaningless to you but money making for them. Thats the life of college. In the end if you chose wisley to not be one of the many drunken college kids who got no where. Then you probably will end up paying off your debt..Even if thats in many many years to come. Fortunately I don't have to go through that. Just my self spending unresponsible actions. My wanting to do better in life and only failing. As many times before. Then having my wanting thrown out at me and then costing me lots of money. But thats ok. I enjoyed my time at Schneider. Even if I fill I wasn't given a proper second guess and maybe I just didn't have the time to stand up and tell them I was a slow learner and maybe that would of gave more time..But who knows..In the end maybe it doesn't matter. No matter how I look at it. I'm screwed. But two jobs should sufficently pay this off. Just need the right hourly rate. After months I'll be free of my stupidity and then I could move onto only using credit when need be and nothing else. My first credit card. The company wouldn't offer me to up the amount of my balance..This company has known me to pay off my bills many times but the wouldn't accept that..I'm not sure wtf that is about. My credit is good. I own enough credit cards. Won't mention how much. But my other newer credit card was willing to jump my amount up..So basically Schneider had the chance to get their money on time. However foolishly they accept all forms of credit accept one credit company..So they had to wait..Now I feel I'm going tobe punished for their choices once again..Funny how that is..But I assume I have no other choice. I guess I shall move on. I have been checking out many great bands over the past few days. But have not found the time to work on Rockers Underground. Though I wish to accomplish that to some extent. I'm however going see Resvoir Dogs in Times Cinema in Milwaukee. It's going to be great. Kick ass movie. Thanks to Greg for introducing me to it. Listening to No assembly required right now. If you never heard them check em out. www.myspace.com/noassemblyrequired. Great band. They have been together for some time now. Many years. Tom Green has been very interesting since he has started his show at 10pm central. Though I feel it has taken a toll on my rest. It has left me tired and in need of sleep most days. Either that or I'm becoming screwed up. I'm not really sure. Though my eyes hurt most days which confuses me. But maybe I sit at the pc to much..I don't focus on one thing though. Which is what really boggles me. It isn't that I sit here reading all the time or watching meaning less tv programs. But that is what confuses me. I can understand if I just read all day or something. Oh well poor people can't afford to care. Let it pass. Death will come quicker it seems. I ate popcicles today. Those are so good..But can mess with your throat. Do note don't eat alot of these over a week..Trust me you will regret it. I ate oatmeal today it was yummy and odd. I added salt..Something I never do..But it was interesting as well. Meg made brownies and she always makes those nicely as well as her beef noodle dish which is always a great healthy meal to consume. I very much enjoy it. My shower has this red mold on it..It's chaotic I tell you..Scary. I once bleached it all way bit it has come back..Who is putting this red stuff in my shower AHHHH!!! I don't know but I don't like it and I shall fight for my shower. Currently listening to Atomic Blonde. wwww.myspace.com/atomicblonde these chics rock. I am debating if I should go back to sleep or if I should stay up and if I stay up will it affect me when I go to work or what ? I don't know and I also have that movie to see tomorrow. So if I stay up now I'll have to sleep later. You know I'm scared of sleep when I work. As I have some odd issue where I don't wake up untill it's right at the time to go to work..Usually not the best way to go to work. I would and have always wished to be the person to wake up make breakfast and then go to work..But no no no. Never wake up..I think it might be because I go to bed at 12 or 10 or 11 or 9. Which then leads to less sleep. Because I have to be up at 5something to get to work..But that isn't true because if I had gone to bed earlier certain things would happen. One being I'd wake up earlier only wanting to sleep more. Or I'd wake up feeling pain in my back..Which is never ever any grand fun. So I'm not sure and I like to have less sleep and more time on my hands then any other way. As time is very little. But on my day off. I usually don't try to control my sleeping. When I wake I wake..Though once again sleep to long and I hurt. Nolon is just some old broken guy. In my 30's I'll use a cane. In my 40's I'll use a walker. In my 50's I'll have glasses which may come earlier. I'll have on a diaper and I'll live in a nursing home. I'm just randomly talking. You know I really don't know what else to say. Actually I have a whole other blog to write on top of others I have not written yet. But one day shall get to them. One more step and I could fall away. If it happen would it matter ? I can't tell if I should go or stay. Same old picture feels so hollow. How can anybody know what's best for me. Another page I turn in shame. Another decision brougt me to my knees. I iiiiii feel so hollow. Godsmack-Iv-Hollow. Buy it now!

I'm gone enjoy your night. I bet your all a sleep because your not cool to hang out like me online.


Once upon a time in broken dreams. Reflections that I can't face. So hold your breath and make a wish for me. Take me to a better place. Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me. If I could do it one more time. I wouldn't change a thing. Iiiiii feel so hollow.


Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.Time always seems to be passing by it never waits for me.
1:12 AM


Friday, June 30, 2006
The rich have it all. While the poor are slaves in their so called freedom.
Current mood:  amused
Category: Life
It has occured to me that we all are slaves. Living in a so called free world. But that really isn't the focus point here. I have spoken once many times about our love for iggnorance,etc. Now I would like to focus more on the state in which the poor folks are slaves in their so called freedom. It's nice to believe that my job gives me Sat and Sun off. But please enlighten the reality to what it is. The guy who runs the show. The big man above all of us. Even my boss. Is a rich guy. Most all the nurses and what not don't work on Sat and Sun..They are to good for that you know. Money makes the world go round. Not that I don't feel we should all and I do many all people should have a narrowed down Sat and Sun day off. That would be fine if that could be true. But those two days are really meant for those with money and time. I personally don't like having the whole world off on two days are the rich..It is two days of pure nonsense. Banks close. Places shut down earlier. Forget going across the country on Sat and Sun. Might as well shut down for the night untill the rich have their fun. Otherwise most shops will be closed and what not. If not closed all together. T hey will close earlier then usual. I also find it interesting that we have holidays off. Some of you are probably like wow. But no it isn't wow. It's crap. I can't afford to be taking days off so the rich can play golf or whatever they do with all their money and suv's. So some talk about having a good holiday when they get in their car. Leaving to go home from the hospital I work at when I'm letting them in because I do valet. I can only think about the real demise of that holiday. I either don't have the money to care that it's a holdiay. It is a holdiay so more then likely I don't care anyways. I really hate that it's a holiday because I loose money on it. But yes It isn't a good thing. Another thing with Sat and Sun is that the rich can really screw you up if your working in the food industry. You end up having those two days and Friday being the busiest days..The management teams are usually so paranoid to give anyone anytime off those days..But the rich certainly have thier time to relax in comfort. I guess that education really is worth all it is out to be. Right and if you I was to believe that. I'd rather spit and chew out my sun seeds on my own dam floor and be proud I have a place to spit. We feel we are free. But in reality we only are working for the ones who have money. While we pay off the rich ones who lend us money or advertise such luxury comforts as a nice steak and a great place to eat. In reality we should be suffering in the real home comforts of beans and rice. Along with ramen and egg and bread sandwhiches..You laugh and I say mm. But we are enlighten by the great wonders of cheap sales and yummy delights cooked by someone else. Then in turn we are left with less money. It is really sad but I feel bad about spending 2 dollars a day much less 1. If I spend 2 a day thats 10 a week. That is a  bad thing..Especially when I am splurging it on things for me to eat that has no real value..But it's even worst off that I feel that way. I can't have the comfort of even 2 dollars a day..Without feeling guilty about the whole situation and yet worst off some days I say screw it all and go for 5 in one spending which is even worst off. Though I relize some of this has nothing to do with the rich..But the point here is simply that no matter how we look at this situation. The rich are the masters. We are the slaves to their world that is built for them..We though have to adjust and live in their world..Wtf is that all about ? Arr! I'm going to build my own world some day I tell you. Which leads me to wishing I had time to play Sim City right now. It's 321 right now. I have randomly put this together in hopes to enlighten you that you need to stop eating out. Stop hoping for better and keep working for your master. While living in your so called freedom.
2:05 AM

Monday, July 10, 2006
I new way of writing my blogs. I don't have nothing to say and to much to say!
Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Blogging
I'm going to try a new style in writing today. If you like it. Please leave me a comment so I don't go off writing as usual in one big big big paragraph. Thanks.
================================================
Paragraph 1 "Getting into habits."

But in the end I feel I don't and I'm sorry I don't keep everyone up to date on the daily issues of my life. I had for awhile been keeping up with putting myself in order..As I have a bad habit of having no order in life. Which In my opinion isn't a healthy life style. So what I was doing was making myself come home. Shave. Brush my teeth and then shower..All the things needed to be done everyday you know..Well it worked..But then I slacked off. Now I'm going to start again..But it's so hard being that person and this person and that person all the time..I REALLY HATE IT! It's like I wish so much to be lifted off into a void and separated into alot of people who all some how managed to be able to understand and be one person..Strange I know..But at least then I would think there would be some order to the everyday life.

===============================================
"The sad broken hearted reality."

Meg and I had broken up for approx 1 week according to Meg.  I wish not to talk to you all about this..It isn't something I'm proud or happy about and wasn't ready to jump on the happy bandwagon to let the whole world know I was single. But though I'm not anymore. I feel without letting you all know I would be wrong not to. We both had come to a understanding that I wasn't accepting the relationship. That I didn't want to be in a relationship and I just wanted to be alone. Meg had done nothing wrong and unfortunately I didn't have a valid answer for my reasons behind me wanting to be alone. Or some would say single..But when you say single..Imo that means your looking for someone. I was not interested in a relationship. That was my whole point in breaking it off. My decision not to let you all know was simply that I didn't care to. I wasn't happy about the decsion I made and I still loved Meg dearly. She is and was apart of my life for a long time and it's not something to easily get over. Nor was I ready to give her up so easily..But I wasn't sure how to cope with what I felt and I wasn't sure I could go on. As I wanted her to be free from the failure I am and be free to move on and find someone who would have an interest in a realtionship. I had just wanted to be alone and free to do as I pleased without hurting anyone. Without being apart of a relationship and no matter that I could handle being in a relationship and that I was fully capable. I felt in my best of interests to break it off then instead of later on down the line when she might of been pregnant or we might of had a kid. Though as I said she had done nothing. It was simply me wanting to be away from being in  a relation. Though after as Meg said approx a week I had felt that my interest was more about Meg then any foolish thoughts I had have. So I had asked her back out. It hurts to see the one you love in pain and it hurts to love someone and not be able to be in a relationship with them. Though what I have come to accept is that when I feel I want to be alone and truely alone I'll just ask for that time to be away .Because I can't be without Meg. She has been so much to me for so long and we get along together very well.
It took her some days to accept me back in her life. Though I'm truely happy she did. I have signed my life away to be with her. I made a promise now to never leave. No matter what foolish thoughts come to me and no matter the situation. We will just have to work it out.






*note* Meg you do not need to read this paragraph. If you do keep it mind I did not mention it to cause any trouble. I did not mention it to bring something you and I don't like to talk about. I brought it up to have it here so it can be seen. Along with my many other flaws. But it is also tied into this situation. Most importantly. So it had to be mentioned.

==============================================
Though we get along I do make many mistakes. Mainly minor.

Yes we get along very well but there are times that well.
 Times that I cause her trouble. Or the issues she has with one person who is no more then my friend..But I had pushed the envelope on that friendship by flirting and meaning nothing by it years back. Something I had done prior to being in a relationship. A lesson I should of known better. I had not hid what I said because usually all things I do I log and passwords are available at will. But at that time I was more learning to be boyfriend materal and not just some random flirt on the internet..It was a mistake and Meg as always I'm sorry and I know you can never be over what I had done. But I never let it happen anymore. I had shut all that out and had become a better boyfriend but even then you meant more to me then any of the nonsense I might of done online with friends. It wasn't valid and never will be and I'm not brining this up so we argue. But so that It is here to let everyone know yes I'm also a failure at being in love. But I never have cheated on Meg and I love her dearly and though I had many times flirted with people online. It wasn't about trying to get with them or be more then friends. It was an understanding of just that. Flirting. No matter who it was and when it was done. I sometimes I guess still come off as a flirt but more so by mistake.I wouldn't let foolish flirting come in the way of what Meg and I have been.  But most notably more then ever and even then everyone knew who my lady was and everyone knows who she is now. Meg that is. But let's go back futher. Though I was on and off with Steph many times and towards the end we really didn't speak. Our communication was close to none. Please note we was teenage children in love. We understood each other and was mature enough to know we liked each other. Though all relationships have their flaws. This one had it's flaws mainly because I had made many a promise that I still can't keep to this day. But though we both had our share in fing up the relation. What I want to talk about is flirting online and at that time. So I was young. Not a reason to do it. But once again it was merely chatting with women and saying things that I guess wasn't approriate but never If a girl/lady said to shut up I would. It never was a means to an invitation or a reason to fall in love with someone. Meg had been apart of this. Though she probably wouldn't admit to it now or maybe :P. But it was really just friendly flirting. Nothing to harm one another. But as I said maybe the one girl I was over stepping my boundaries and I'm truely sorry Meg. Though that was about 3 years ago. I have since then because Meg doesn't approve of it and I know it isn't fair to tease others nor to provoke such. I guess then I really wasn't certain. But still doesn't mean being young was a valid reason. I knew what I was doing though I guess it never amounted to what I had done with the one girl and though once again I never meant for it to be anything more then friendly flirting. Enough I'm repeating myself. All I'm saying is I don't do it anymore and If and when I do which is rare. It is merely a mistake. Or something I may say might come off as flirting. Though I truely try to censore my words and not say things I shouldn't.

=============================================
Life moves on but nothing seems to change.

The only great thing that has happen in my life as of late is Meg.
Since we have gotten back together. I have been trying my hardest to change and be different then I was. But though some minor things have not change. But I do wish to see them changed. One being getting back to habits of doing which I mentioned earlier and I forgot also that after the bathroom ordeal I like to get the dishes done. But more so then ever I try to spend more time with Meg then anything else. Except today I have stayed on the pc more. Though she has been having complications with her back. Today she has been sick and stuck on the couch. I am trying my best to comfort her at times today and helping her in every way possible. I guess as you see life is tied around Meg tightly. :D But so yes I mean Meg is main priority in everything I do more so then ever. So besides that one of the many things I have been slacking on but needing to work on and get to doing is applications for jobs. The longer I stay doing the job I am doing the longer I am in debt. Though the longer no jobs accept me the longer I wait. Funny as I thought I was being  given postive reviews and I was a promising opp for two jobs..But though now it seems maybe after 3 or 4 weeks..Those thoughts now or faded and grey. Just like alot of things in life..But I move on..If anything the job I do now may not be the best and may not be paying me the best..But at least by a thread it is holding me together and Meg for the time being..But untill futher notice I'm not sure. I just know I do wish to find good jobs. One of my main goals and I have no promise to anyone because I've said this before is to start relearning and trying to get my GED. If I can't get a job in the coming weeks the Internet will have to go as I nor Meg can afford the 30 bucks for the use of the internet. Though I will still be able to come online as there are many HotSpots for wireless internet. I could use the Library..But the Library and I or not on good terms..Long story about a dumb ass movie and them not accepting my payment. So what am I to do ? But not only am I going to try for my GED. I'm going to be studying for bus driving license to drive the city bus. They pay well and train you while paying you there are many other great ops working for the bus company. One being hot ladies getting on the bus..Note I'm joking..No I mean the pay is great. It just seems to be good. I'm not sure what else to talk about for now. So please enjoy what has been written if you can. I'll update you on more things later on.
8:48 PM


Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The Natives of what we call American..Indians..The name that isn't them!
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
I'm really into the understanding and the culture of Natives of our land. The originals. The ones we have taken so much fun. Some wonder why I hate so much..But why not ? I guess I have much to appreciate and have to accept..But I'm a very emotional person. Mostly because I see so much negative and things that are hidden from the normal view of those who don't wish to open their mind. While some are just afraid. I'm mainly writing this because of the many things I read Native American History is one thing I find more important to know and read then anything. Milwaukee's Indian Summer festival will be coming up in the coming months and I'm going to try to dedicate most of my time at that festival. I want to be there and experience it. I have been wanting to since I heard of it. I would like to visit a reservation. Sadly yes they are still on what we deem reservations and sadly yes no matter how much they may wish to live their life as they once did they can only accept and live as we have made them out to live. Like christians and Americans..The pitiful reality. But seriously it's such a sick thought. These people have been raped of their culture. Their beliefs. Their world. Their land. Everything has been taken from them and what they have been left with is to face their reality and for some they will never know what it was to be who they once was.
8:37 PM


Monday, July 24, 2006
The brain. A tribute to Mizz Evil. A new poem.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Writing and Poetry
The brain can be such a drain
Like rain it quits
Forgets all it thought
Inspiration makes you happy
But then the brain forgets
you become sappy
This sounds kind of rappy
But I promise my hair is nappy
The brain sometimes drops
All it brought to you
It would of been such a good poem
But the brain in your dome
Made you groan
Ah yes the brain It can leave a stain
Sometimes it brings great wonders
Sometimes it leaves you wondering
Enlighten me oh brain
I have forgotten what I was going to say
I guess I'll just waste the day
10:37 PM

 Monday, July 24, 2006

Realizing the ones you can't trust new poem July 24th
Current mood:  angry
Category: Writing and Poetry
Sickening realities.
My thoughts of you. I wish untrue.
But though I try to shake it off.
It's like a bad nightmare.
Though dreams fade away.
The things you've done can't be changed.
Harmful and sick.You knew better yet you did it.
Though my memories of you as I remember you.
Never untrue. Like a knight of great wonders.
I was inspired by you once like how I was-
inspired the freedoms and great wonders of America.
But just as that I've learned untrue. Behind you this mask-
of religion, politics and money. You dig your own graves-
and prepare your own end. One day you all will suffer!

Ok fixed. Sigh not sure if I like or don't like it.


10:44 PM


Monday, July 24, 2006
The Ghost and me
Current mood:  calm
Category: Writing and Poetry
 I can see them In my home
Where they roam freely
I hear noises behind me
Quickly I look back
I feel their precense
But as quickly they fade
Into the distance
Their eyes shallow
Bodies hallowed
They walk among us
In dimensions we
can't understand
She weeps tears
That don't exist
I hear dish ware shattering
Some where behind me
Tonight she is angry
As many nights before
I can't recall the
last time she smiled
She wants answer
I don't have
Something was taken from her
She never completely died
Stuck between worlds
Looking for answers
That may never be answered
Nolon L. D. July 13,2006


I wrote this at work after it had came back in my mind that day. It had first come to me the night before. But I didn't write it down. Anyways so far t seems to be ok. I never wrote a poem about a ghost. I don't think.
11:11 PM


Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Andrea Pia Yates I want to kill this evil lady! Torture slowly!
Current mood:  angry
Please note this is censored.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates
So It took some time for me to come to writing this. Actually posting her name in my blog makes me sick enough knowing she is even part of my blogging history..But just as the last idiot who done something stupid and that other idiot Mr Jack who well you know Mr Jack just read my blogs. I'd love to think I could find some common interest in feeling what she did might not be to bad..But actually for the longest time I thought it was three kids. Actually it was 5. :( 5 kids lost their lives for no other reason then their mother being sick. They knew this lady was sick and of coure the great wonderful American people allowed her to go along living her life with her wonderful Nasa Engineering husband. Her kids who she later killed. Honestly crazy bitches on medicine should NOT! by any means have kids. If they do they should be taken away..This is pathetically wrong. I have come up with many solutions to kill this lady and some of them I found out yesterday..Rather interesting poisons out there you know. Great wonderful painful ways to kill such idiotic people in this world..However Mr Andrea sits in her lovely Insanity home relaxing sipping a fucking Dr Pepper or something while her kids no longer can see another day in this world. But in the end alot of you probably think I'm wrong for my views and that the death penalty is the best thing to happen...Yes sure sure..No. This lady deserves more punishment then a quick death. I despise her. Just as I despise the other bitch a few years back who drowned her kids in the car in a lake..Or however that story went. It is a sad day when our own people of the court can't figure out a correct way to punish the wrong..But of course not..We have prisons and simply quick means of death..Hell even Sadam had better ways to torture unfortunately he was a pretty sick fuck and I don't think any of his intentions was for better. But this lady deserves more then relaxing at the Insanity clinic..But the judge would otherwise disagree as well as her crooked fucking lawyer..But it all comes to reality now that I see her husband probably didn't care either..As I can only wonder how she afforded a good lawyer. Lawyers also should die. If your so dam sick as to be able to sit with a criminal and can calmy say the criminal is not guilty your a fucking mark in my book!
6:18 PM


Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Ahhh! Yahoo is expiring the better homepage arr!
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
*crys* It has been Yahoo.com for ages..Just as I remember it..Now they want to go and make it all ugly..Bleh..Expiring old page Sep1st..Arr! Nooo. I want my old Yahoo page. It says Welcome to the new Yahoo IT'S MADE FOR YOU! Yea sure..Thats why I'm posting a blog about how I love my old Yahoo.com and thats why I don't do online bookmarking..I'm old school yo!


Oh yes I see it's Web2.0 Oh who cares ha. Give me my loving old style..Old school yo!
Currently listening:
Degradation Trip
By Jerry Cantrell
Release date: 18 June, 2002
7:02 PM


 Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Artificial World A poem written in 06
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Writing and Poetry
Please not there is some thoughts and opinions here that may not be to everyones liking. So read with caution.

Living in fear
A world of judgement
Forced beliefs
Those who question
Looked down upon
Cast out and judged
We live in a world
Created by nature
Change by mankind
Destructing and killing
Everything in our path
I'm reminded constantly
This imagination land
I feel I'm trapped
This amusement park world
Where graves scatter the landscape
Killing the environment-
Polluting the grounds
Buildings surround me
Where trees and over growth
Once had their place here
As the natives did to
But we the people
Never stopping
Never thinking
Our path destruction
Our cause good
By the powers of Jesus the lord
Buildings that once served their purpose
Either become neglected or torn down
Like sets on a stage
But this is the real world
Isn't it ?
I wonder daily about these thoughts
This artificial world of make believe

Listening to Rain fell within-torn apart

7:08 PM

Wednesday, August 16, 2006
If you ever go to West Bend,Wi Stop by Pillllars Caffe
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
http://www.pillllars.org/
 http://www.myspace.com/pillllarscaffe
Remember to support Mort! He rules you know. Check this beautiful place in downtown West Bend out. So much to see. So much to do..It's not free. But it's definately cheap..Cheap fun thrills. You even get meals..Oh wow what a DEAL!
Listening to Chaos Opera-before the storm
7:31 PM


Saturday, August 19, 2006
Censored reality. Why why is it ok to use some words for others ?
Current mood:  aggravated
Warning censored for the sake of stupidity brained washed Earth!

I am baffled. I can say things like you are the one I don't like..I can't say you are the one I hate. I can't say I fucking hate you. But it's ok to say I dislike you. Honestly people. It makes me sick to see that I live with people who are closed off to common sense. People who completely open their mouths with shock as they here someone say fuck suck cunt dick pussy in front of another..But will gladly censor those words for others..Yes I've written about this subject before but today I felt was another good day to do the same and why is that ? Well I was looking up Maniac Mansion and Nintendo gave me good reason. But I thought as well I could blend in censorship with other things. Like this fucking cloak that everyone seems to have covering their face. If you read the article I had posted prior to this on the deception of reality. It also ties into this. Even more so would be another link I'll add here. So as not to repeat posts. So as to bind them all into a common sense thoughtful thinking moment. Reality deception and the will not to open your minds is a big problem. Open up. WAKE UP PLEASE!

http://www.crockford.com/wrrrld/maniac.html The article that got me writing this one.
As well as this video which is part 1 of like 4. So here is David Icke.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1788098500928248111&q=david+icke
5:09 PM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Censored Reality for the censored. A post all can enjoy.
Current mood:  crushed
Category: Blogging
Actually written as a reply. Revised for the sake of everyone.
But well not actually revised. Just going to post the comment here for now. Revise later.


My opinion.

Well Cathie. I can't agree. I agree those words to the majority of everyone is disrespectful and shouldn't be said..But how long till we can come to terms of using those words as everyday words ? Why is it perfectly fine to substitute words for words claimed bad ? That to me is the oddest. I see a lot of people do it to..They will not say the bad word..but gladly will translate it to something that isn't bad..But what honestly makes a word bad when it can be translated to something commonly used by others ? Once again I do feel it perfectly fine to not say in public and not use it for the respect of those who choose to believe that it's actually a bad thing..But would rather sub it for other words similar or not at all. In the end it's a silly debate. But yes the kid shouldn't have said it. Though it's funny because we both grew up in two worlds. My mom of course I don't really know your mom or if she does or doesn't. But I have feeling she doesn't use those words at all or if any. But my mom on the other hand would gladly spit out those words in seconds. I use to feel it was wrong as well. Like wow mom that was just wrong. But as time has passed and I've come to terms with accepting and learning more over just accepting what is. I've come to see it as more a silly thnig. But honestly my mom wouldn't allow us either. She would be angry when we did. But as we grew up she would just kind of say don't say that haha..Thats my mom though.  I don't think the kid should be spanked. That would easily be taken as why was I being beaten. Or It wouldn't solve the problem. I think that to solve the problem would be to discuss the problem. But everyone learns different. But I really feel explaining and talking it over. Instead of simply giving a spanking or saying thats bad isn't going to help...Might leave the kid to wondering. But yes I hope you enjoy the view. Two worlds. Two cultures. Different teaching. Different experiences. Worlds viewed differently.  
9:37 PM


Saturday, August 26, 2006
Views so far Passion of the Christ
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
Well I'm watching this movie. Jesus suffers but funny because I always hear he suffered for our sins,etc. But when watching this I have to wonder who also has suffered the same fate at the hands of those men..This was common in those days. I'm sure there had been many a common folk who ended up doing nothing wrong but was treated as he. Just as I feel it was wrong that they treated him bad when walking with him but It is to be noted Jesus was not following their laws. Kind of like those people crossing the U.S. border because they choose to. Or the Indians with no choice but to abandon ship. Which reminds me. If Jesus was such the good man everyone claims how come after he goes a suffering for our sins. Which I believe alot of men probably had done as well in those time. Because that was common practice. How come then is it that so many years later there is still suffering ? How come Jesus let his people kill off so many Indians or that who jew massacre situation or the 5 kids killed at the hand of psycho mother and yet how come after all these down falls everyone still cries praise Jesus ?


Alright so now the movie is over and dam I didn't even see the Easter Bunny come out the cave. I mean what is that ? Where is the Easter bunny when you need em ? Ok lets be serious. So now I have new questions as well. Why is it that a Alien. Thats what we will refer to as Jesus supposed father in the heavens. Why would he impregnate a women on earth with magical powers. Only to have wanted it back in it's world. I really feel there is some type of Alien abduction going on in this story..That is some how translated as human..As I know that not any one religious person would dare say Jesus was a magician or sorcerer. Actually I think he was a healer/necromancer..Yep. So maybe all along we had dungeons and dragon books even back then but it got mixed up as being some type of real thing. But no honestly and then when Jesus was up on the cross he says why have you forsaken me ? Talking to his father the alien some other planet..But is not frowned upon on most religions not to actually question anything because then you know people would find out the real truth. At least I think so. I also noted that Jesus acted just as any other human. I mean he was a nice guy. He had friends..He supposedly believed in some God and when he was on his death bed he was praying and hoping to get in the heavens..But like all you unfortunate people he had higher status. Like the Pres of the U.S.A.
9:31 AM



Sunday, August 27, 2006
Virtual reality the future in it's earlier form ?
Current mood:  hopeful
Category: Blogging
I'd like to think so. I mean we had Atari..Which was one of the first consoles..Think I would know my gaming history. It certainly is one of the very first consoles. Anyways not to have the first game though. That was done on some big computer some where. But the point I'm making we have evolved to the stage of supreme looking games. Sure it can still be enhanced..But to move along. We have game consoles like the DS. Soon the Nintendo Wii..Thats we. Like the two of us. We together can play,etc. Allows the users to actually swing the bat. Stab with the sword..All with the imagination. But most importantly is you see the changes ? I mean from controller to imaginable movements with the DS and the Wii. It's great. I even read a topic about Windows moving into virtual reality after Windows Vista is released. Is the future really virtual..It sure seems to me that it is turning out to be that way. As games have evolved so has controllers. Sure you can say that Microsoft had the Side Winder and it was capable..But no it was possible not capable..Which is why it sucked..It also didn't catch on. The Wii has and will. Maybe not with the older crowd..At least in the U.S. as Nintendo would wish you to believe..But maybe. I mean the older crowd is my crowd and even older now. There was also the Power Glove way way back when the Nintendo Entertainment System was around..But it was also a failure. Didn't work as promised..But the future is here and virtual it seems only to be around the corner.


So thats my opinion
Listening to
http://www.myspace.com/livesofthedeceived
12:20 AM


I can already see it now... the two of us on the futon or loveseat, I'm crocheting or studying or something and you're playing the new Zelda on the Wii... an attacker startles you from the left and you reflexively swing your arm wayyy far to compensate, smashing and breaking my nose. Then "wii" can go to the emergency room, ah hah hah. Love you Nolon &hearts;




Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Idiots turned Tom Green.com Into a pay to call in talk show.
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
These idiotic morons with nothing else to do want to cause Tom problems..Just because he isn't sucking on cow utters or doing funny stuff. Just trying to run a talk show..You idiots think calling saying barrel roll is soo funny. Honestly idiots If I had the chance I'd hang you all. Just to laugh at your suffering asses. So since I know how to search morons out. I've done so. Today is the day of war
<----
That was a prior post. I had recently searched out all the links to the morons making videos of what they deem funny when saying barrel roll on videos that they post on You Tube as well as talking around in their wonderful forums. However Tom has decided it would only be fair to make it a call in talk show..I don't however think it will stop these idiots. But I will still be posting links to their oh so funny pranks.
10:07 PM


Sunday, September 03, 2006
Don't you just love Theory of a deadman. I think he is dead cause of his chic
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
That dude makes alot of sad songs. Great stuff though. Not all of it is sad. But if you never heard them or don't know who I'm talking about. One of their latest that I know of on the radio..As though I listen to the radio. It was Santa Monica..I remember the day you left for Santa Monica...Yep that song. Good stuff. But the old album had a great bit of hits and it was a good album. I need to listen to the new one. Anyways just remembering that I downloaded this song when I went check out my d/l folder on Irc. Oh yea RIAA kiss it. Your right I d/l music.
7:46 AM


Saturday, September 09, 2006
I remember when mom would say get a life. Go outside do something.On the pc to much.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging

My answer always was and do what ? Drugs ? Hang out with people I don't care to ? I didn't like being in the yard and didn't feel being on the computer was not being productive muchless interactive. I was learning. I was having fun. Most importantly I wasn't bored and of all things in my life I enjoyed doing. Gaming,reading,watching,listening,etc. It was all compiled here on the pc..


Anyways I'm writing from a Linux based Os called OpenSuse 10.1. If ever you get the thought to do it. Go ahead. Install a Linux based operating system. So far it has gone well. Exception being that I installed a version for a more newer pc and my Gateway a 1999 model..yep is slow..But it keeps ticking. Old thing amazes me


So I came across this artile and felt you all should read it.

by raehl (609729) on Wednesday July 26, @07:44PM (..15787695)
(http://www.college-paintball.com/)
Why do people think it's 'not real' if it's conducted primarily on a computer?

Before Everquest existed, I 'was somebody' online - ran a guild on a MUD (although not as big as yours), and eventually even ended up running the MUD itself. There were definitely some stretches where I'd often spend 16 hours a day on the computer.

But I've also 'been somebody' in real life too. I have a real job with real responsibilities and most of the people I work with I have met once, or no times at all, and interact with almost entirely via computer. I'm also the president of one national non-profit organization with a few thousand members I never see, and run another business with 30,000 customers I don't see either.

And I find that I often spend 16 hours a day on the computer.

Now, most people would consider my job, my non-profit, and my business to be 'real life', and I enjoy them. So why are people who enjoy spending 16 hours a day doing something else on the computer not doing 'real life'? I really can't think of anything that's much different between the 16 hours a day I spend playing networked computer games and the 16 hours a day I spend doing various forms of (enjoyable) work. And while you may have felt compelled to play more everquest because people were depending on you, how is that any different than me feeling compelled to go to work for the same reason?

Computer games are certainly no less productive than the time I've spent shooting pool at the bar. But somehow going out and shooting pool at the bar is OK while playing games at home is not - why? Also, why is someone who spends 16 hours a day reading books and/or watching TV considered to be doing 'real life'? All you're trading is a networked screen with a non-networked screen or page.

Playing on the computer a lot, in and of itself, isn't an addiction. It's only natural that you're going to do the things you enjoy doing as much as you can, and playing computer games isn't any different than reading or anything else, except people who do those other activities want to pretend their life is more meaningful than computer gamers I guess.

People need to understand what an addiction really is. If you are COMPELLED to do something so much that it interferes with your ability to pay your rent, feed yourself, or maintain relationships that are important to you, that's an addiction. If it consumes all of your free time, that's just recreation. And I think it's a tragedy to try and label someone an 'addict' just because of their prefered form of recreation.

Anyway, the time you spend on EQ was real life. And it wasn't because you were 'addicted', it's because you enjoyed it. Not playing anymore wasn't an addiction-ending event; you just stopped enjoying playing so you stopped playing. Simple as that.


Credit goes to who wrote it.
OpenSuse forums for hosting it.
By the guy who posted it from Slashdot.
11:26 PM




Sunday, September 10, 2006
One day I'll be a parent. Kids have to go to school. I'm afraid here is why.
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
I don't feel my kid should be put in U.S schools. I have many worries and fears. If I ever was to become a father. As I can't think of teaching our kids that America is great. When it has many faults as any other country. But in school you wouldn't know that. As we are taught in their sugar coated imaginary world. Worst of all a kids first day. They are brainwashed into that whole Bs pledge.Lets see what's that one part... Oh yea "under one God" So let's just pretend that possibly your kid isn't a catholic or a batist..Or the many other religons that follow the same god..Maybe your kid however is a satanist..Yes yes I know fear the evil people..But are they really evil ? Even so lets just say they worship something that isn't so judgemental.Possibly the sun or the rain ? Well now the kid is in trouble if he/she doesn't stand for the brainwashing msg of daily school. Even worst the others kid pick on he/she for not following orders like everyone else.  Why isn't there a pledge or a revised pledge for everyone here in the U.S.A. I think we all understand the mishaps of our prior leaders and ancestors of America..But we can not change what they may have done.Though we can be better people and being social creatures with the ability to be in touch with everyone quickly..We should all then be able to agree and come together..But it doesn't and most probably will never happen.  Considering money and politiical issues. One of the many things that Meg and I talk about is me sitting down with the kid doing history hw. While I'm there saying no no thats incorrect..Christopher Columbus was a moron. He didn't discover America. My g/f feels as I may be incorrect but I think this is how she put it. Sorry if I'm wrong Meg. on the other hand that the kid should be taught what is taught in school. So as not to confuse the kid. Or not to get the kid in trouble. But it's an on going wonder. I don't really know where I stand. I just don't feel that the things taught in school is worthy of being taught to the youths of America in the coming years. I think all books involving history should be revised to better fit the real picture. So that together we could all come to relise the mistakes of our prior leaders and people who had done wrong by being blind by thought or gossip. I think by coming together to understand our wrongs and to make them right is possible. But sugar coating and lying untill the kid who actually questiosn the system is able to come around to find out the real answers will never fix racial problems and problems between everyone. Lets fix our issues. Tell some real truths and make it worth my time. Otherwise there will be on going arguments between me and the school system.
Currently listening:
One Cold Night
By Seether
Release date: 11 July, 2006
3:10 PM

In response...


To correct the record, I am not opposed to the idea of teaching our kids contradictory things to what are being taught in school. What I am opposed to is how you described (not so much here but in the discussions we've had previously) how you would launch off into how stupid/wrong the teachers are, the school itself, etc. That would create problems for our little impressionable student. Not to mention it would be massively hypocritical to brainwash your kid that God doesn't exist, or that religion is wrong. Guide the child until he is old enough to make his own decisions is my principal, not inflicting onto him what you believe is correct.

Posted by Meg of Margaret on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 4:04 PM
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  It's been a wonderful year with Molly


 
See your not following what I said. I didn't specify that God didn't exist. I said that is pathetic that a kid is brought into a school system and told to stand for a pledge that is as old as slavery and the erasing of cultures,religions,etc of the Natives. I never said anything about anyone not exisitng. Actually it is a post in the making. However once again I said that If their going to push God on every kid that steps into a public school then maybe they push Satan.Buddah and or any of the other mythical people that others believe in and if not then they could say hey we worship under all Gods makes and models..Something to the affect not God Jesus the father son and all that other bs America and others follow. But the main focus is kids being taught these so called history and then having to either learn otherwise later on in life or come to hate others because they found out their great grandmother was beat down by the white man or that we not they took over the natives land.



I'm saying that believe in what you wish. But if your going to pledge under a religion. Do it under all religions. I never said no one didn't exist. I believe no one exists but thats my opinion.

I want to teach a kid right from wrong. But if a kid is going to be taught history it should be done by focusing on the truth of our world. So that all together every culture,race can see the wrongs of every race. Not that we blame it on one person. But most importantly that we all live under one roof. So lets get along by seeing the errors of those of our past. Lets make it a better social understanding future.


Posted by It's been a wonderful year with Molly on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 4:17 PM
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  Meg of Margaret


 
The point of my reply is not to go into your tangent on religious beliefs. Once again, I want to correct the part of your blog in which you mention how I disagree with what you wanted to tell our kids. I disagree with how you've said you'll go off raving at our hypothetical kid about your opinions instead of telling him in a few sentances, Columbus wansn't exactly the hero he is portrayed to be, or that he doesn't have to believe in God to say the pledge, etc.

Posted by Meg of Margaret on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 4:40 PM
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  It's been a wonderful year with Molly


 
Yes I got that. I just misunderstood where you said god didn't exist. I was mistaken. You wasn't talking about this article. It just seemed that it was. Either way. It makes for a better follow up that in no way am I saying your gods don't exist.


Heh are kid will not have a god because I said so ah haha I rule


Posted by It's been a wonderful year with Molly on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 4:47 PM
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  Meg of Margaret


 
Just as long as our kids don't worship God the way I do... muahahaha *kiss* Love you


Thursday, September 14, 2006

My life Wednesday.09-13-06 Yes it didn't rain! Well semi
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
So I woke up this morning. Meg was possibly going to make breakfast. Even though I said don't. Well she didn't. So that was good. I said this morning because the day Is actually still yesterday Imo. Anyways so we both slept in. I still woke up early. I think I logged into the internet for some time in the morning. After many times waking up hugging and kissing Meg. But then I got dressed. Did the bathroom stuff. Got ready for worked. Kissed Meg told her by as she left for school. Left early for work..Suprisingly. Grabbed my crappy headphones and my cd player..Call me old school. At least mine plays mp3's and It's not full of drm bs like your expensive Ipod. Oh and mine plays more music always. :D I just had to say that. Which I been meaning to bring along with me. Then I left. Went to work. Sat down in the patio area. I work at a hospital and you know the other part if you read yesterday. Cranked some Kittie/Seether/Kmfdm/Sum41. It was fun. Then I went to work. I'll make this short. Work was ok. Nothing major. No crazy busy day..However a good story from work...Maybe I'll do one good story a day..Yesterday being the mud today this. So here goes. Well I was parking a car. Turned on my signal as I should of on time. Got ready to turn..A guy is trying to go around me. Even though this is a double yellow line and your not supposed to pass. He pisses me off. Because I certainly always use me turn signal and worst of all he is a moron for blowing his horn and screaming when he is in the wrong..Even though he mentions the turn signal. Which I'm sorry I didn't know and it's not my vehicle. But that gives him no right to scream  and blow his horn. When he had no right way in the first place. He is lucky the customer was waiting for his keys. Otherwise I would of got out and told him off. But I didn't so thats that story. What was more interesting ? Um so work ended. I still didn't get out early today..But today doesn't count..It was yesterday and all the bs. Long story. Then I came home..Wow Meg wasn't home before me. I then took on the task of changing the place the computers have been in since we moved in. Polished our computer desks. Got rid of all the dust. Closed my computer case back up. Meg came home. I wanted it all done before she got here to so she would smile. Turns out I didn't realize how big a task I was taking on. So she comes in. We discussed going eat at Golden Corral. We went it was good. Turns out the way I wanted the computeres desks to be didn't work out. Because there would of been no room for two people to sit..I got to thinking and made a different arrangement. Though I think our old arrangement worked out best. But it looks nice. I have a picture. You will see that as well. But then I turned it all on. Both pc's work and our laptop is running fine. Nice to see William as we now call our new pc. The one I built. Nice to it shining and covered up. Makes me feel better about it. I've never been good at taking care of things. Lack of money,time or mistakes/not caring. Either way I try my best to see William live a good life..Strange calling it William. But though It is my creation and I've been proud of it. I still need to check the printer. Maybe I should do that soon. Meg later went take a bath and she was feeling bad afterwards because as always I'm still a low life never getting anywheres. But when I came home I wasn't sure what to do. Either do the things needed to be done around the house or go apply for jobs..Which usually turns out to not be worth doing anyways because no one is hiring though tomorrow. I'll go out waste time filling out apps. For the hopes that maybe something will come of the mindless bull... Arrr. Either way I wish Schnieder worked out..But lets be honest. Me with money ? Never. Though it was a good dream while it lasted. Fun learning. Driving the trucks. Getting the license. Being in a school system again. Meeting friends you will never meet again. Etc. Wasting time. Loosing out and becoming worst off then you had been. But thats life right and life must move on and though I shall not dwell on the past so much as to think about the future. Certainly I'll always remind myself of my mistakes. But It isn't that they don't exist. No use in hiding behind the curtain pointing fingeres and not speaking. Silence will get you no wheres. But so Meg went to bed. I decided I shall stay up. Needed to do this. Needed to read your bulletins. Needed to read your blogs. Needed to read Digg. Needed to watch Tom Green. Needed to listen to music. Needed to wash myself and dishes and so the rest I'll tell you tomorrow. This is the end of that day because now I'm in the other day and I'll you the other day hopefully when the other day ends. Considering nothing of importance is happening tomorrow/today as in Thursday. Bleh except a busy day. Good night folks. See you tomorrow.
Listening to Black Sabbath-War pigs.
12:28


Thursday, September 14, 2006
Just my luck as always. Nieces birthday. Fathers death and..
Current mood:  drained
Category: Blogging
Father died this month of 1982. I was born the next month.
Nieces birthday 9-12 not sure the year. Almost forgot to call her. Still have not sent her a card. It's my friends birthday on the 15th..I just remembered. Ahhh!
It was sad to talk to her though. I feel I never do anything for. I have many uncles and aunts and though I don't feel it was their fault. Alot of them was pretty much never there. If your reading this. Which I doubt you are. Your still cool. But I won't neglect my nieces so much as you have done. Even if it wasn't your fault. But thank you to all that was capable of playing apart in my lives. As for those I don't know because I didn't know you exist. Well maybe we will meet.
I also have cousins out there I don't know or have seen but never seen since. If you know me or remember my face. Msg me please. It would be nice to hear from you.
So thats it.
12:50 AM


Thursday, September 14, 2006
Read about my life on Tuesday Sep 12th 06 Only for friends.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Tuesday isn't today. Nor was it yesterday. I wanted to put yesterday long story. It's not actually but actually is Thursday. Anyways Tuesday morning I went to work. My job is a Ramp Captain for a Valet position. I mainly hand out tickets to the owners of the vehicles so they may go where they need to go. Then the valet drivers bring the cars where they need to. So now we have that covered. Tuesday morning I went to work. I'm going to bring this story to you as best as I remember it. It had rained the whole day. Work was terrible. Because those who never use valet was showing up in droves. So for the usual customers it wasn't fair to them. However we are not paid over time and Monday we had the same issue. But I was late going home that day and so was I Tuesday. But Tuesday was even worst. I even closed our valet service by 5 minutes..Which didn't even help. In the end I had a terrible day at work. As much as I'd love to go into details you wouldn't care. Except that also after about 3:30pm I also park and go pick up vehicles. Well I was running back to our booth to put away the keys in the rain. These ladies was walking down the side walk. Being a gentleman I had chose to run around them through the grass. What was I thinking ? Anyways I came a tumbling down..But they saw me fall. They called it a good fall. Lmao. I just always have been able to catch myself. But even better is I feel pain. But it isn't the painful I hate pain. It's that feels interesting. My thoughts are if isn't pain I will not know about like falling down without warning. I'm ok with it. However someone saying ok we are about to put a needle in you..Really makes me afraid. But I'm ok with it. But so thats part of the story. The real reason I'm telling you this is that after I got back to the booth to put away the keys. I realized that even though I landed in the wet grass. I had managed not to get any mud on me AT ALL! Thats crazy. So after what may not seem like a hard day of work to you at work. I came home. Fortunately because of my kind and loving girlfriend I had gone to bed early the night before. Also because of her. She made me a quick dinner so that we could take it one the trip to downtown Milwaukee. Because we was going see. Shine down/Zombie/Godsmack. I walked in the door from work and her friend was here. So sad. As I didn't get to take off my clothese here in the living room. But not to big of an issue. Then we left and Meg made me fish and potatoes. So I ate that on the way. She didn't season it as I would of. But thats ok. I love her anyways and it tasted wonderful. I just wish I would of thought about it. She drove us there. Which is especially good for me. Because rain and me don't mix. My eyes don't see very well in rain. Not that I won't try my best though if I feel I can't see at all I will definately not drive. However it is kind of blurry right now looking at the screen. But I wanted to do this Tuesday..So on with the story. We show up..Although this place is downtown Milwaukee and it's on the summer fest grounds. At ... I'll try to spell this. Spell checker isn't working properly at the time. We was going to the amphitheatre. But we pull into one of many parking lots. Although our lot was far far from the theatre and although close to the Summer Fest entrance..Which has been over for some months now..But so we paid 5 to park. Got out. We had to take a long walk to the theatre. It was a fun walk...I guess. We talked. Meg mostly with her friends. I just sorta stared around. Nothing really to say. I did trip..Damit. I was fine however. So we finally get into the concert. Shinedown..I enjoy at times..But I don't like like them. Zombie was really great to finally see. Zombie had all his good classic horror films playing..Not the whole movies just clips but it was interesting as well as his movie. House of 1000 corpses. Go rent it..Both movie..There is a second one. Both good. So yes there was a screen with those playing. There came a robot on the stage at once..That was cool. Pyrotechnics. As well as ladies on stage dancing. Two big American flags with human skulls. Kick ass. Great Zombie songs..Still partially raining..But not as serious as the day time. Although kind of cold. Meg assumed I was blocking the wind for her so that was cool. Oh our seats was just right outside of the roof..Just my luck..But thats ok. I'll endure any weather for Gsmack unless you know there are definite times when I wouldn't. But long story. So great to see Zombie. Then Godsmack came out. Simple rock stage. Pyro. All 5 screens showing some of the music videos. As well as other things. Sully was putting on a great show to make the crowd move. All the band members did a great job. They also played war pigs by Ozzy and they had a sing along on the screen. That was rather interesting. Oh yes Zombie did an 80's song at once and enter the sandman by Metallica. Ok back to Godsmack. They did their usual duel with Sully on drums and the other drummer. As always that kicked ass. I saw all the show except one or two songs. But always enjoy a great Godsmack concert. So when we left since the car was parked soooo far away I used my valet skills in my non valet shoes and ran like a mad man out of there to get to the car..Fortunately we missed the droves and made it out of there with no problem and the girls didn't have to walk. We came home.  I made me some ramen with vege's and beans. Ran to the bedroom because Megs friend stayed over. Hugged Meg talked to Meg. Ate my ramen and tried to watch tv..All reruns..I HATE TV! Yet I have a laptop. Internet access and no internet capable pc in the room. Thats the next step. So I will never be out of material to watch when I want to watch! Went to sleep and now you know my life story for that night/day. Yes there are things like bathroom breaks and what not left out....But you got the main idea.
Music listening to..Myspace is slow.
100 demons-Back lash
12:59 AM
Aww, I'm sorry if I was ignoring you on the way to the concert. If it's any consolation, you were the only one I was hanging onto and around at the actual concert *kiss* Love you.

Thursday, September 14, 2006
So you want a credit card ? Here is some of the best/worst Imo!
Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Blogging
Well never ever ever go with a credit card from your local bank. Well this is based on opinion. So far that has been the worst/not worst decison ever. Only not worst because the account helped me with Schneider. But otherwise If I never used them I would be so happy. Right now I'm being charged extremely high interest rates every time I make a payment. So let's see I won't say how much is in the card. But the bank is M&I they are terrible. But here is the example my M&I card is double the line of credit my American Express card offers. My interest rate on the American which is half the line of credit of M&I is  approx 7 dollars. M&I for every due date. I loose out 54 dollars! These idiotic morons are insane. Worst of all for every payment I loose an additional 3 dollars because of their stupid way of making payments. Another thing. M&I you can't view your account online. You can't view your yearly summary. Nor can you view your recent activity. Only can you pay your bill! Bleh. Capital one. Well they was the first card I ever owned. I enjoy them. It amazes me though because of the other two cards..This had has the lowest line of credit and the interest is 10..But yes I never even knew how low American was till today. Anyways both Capital One and American Express are very friendly nice people. There points for buying stuff so you can get stuff free. Is also free. Unlike M and I! Who charges you a yearly fee! Like wtf..I thought we got points for buying..Thats almost a rae..Worst of all M&I their bank sucks to. Don't apply for an account. Unless you got money growing on trees and can afford to put the amount of your pay check to keep in you bank account. Otherwise you won't be able to cash your check. Bleh on M&I you SUCK!
Oh I forgot both American and Capital are internet friendly with nice layouts and lots of online things you can do with your account. Although vista is everywhere you want to be.. not American...
I forgot M&I is hell. If you really believe in those fairy tales..Then M&I is hell.
1:44 AM



Sunday, September 17, 2006
It's stupidity and your own fault STOP BLAMING VIDEO GAMES FOR IDIOTS!
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
Link provided by: Digg.com
http://digitalbattle.com/2006/09/16/games-blamed-for-montreal-shooting/

I've said it before. But it seems that it doesn't get through. Although the better percentage of the population would like to believe that there is also a fairy tale waiting to happen when you die. Most of these people have better common sense. But as Terry Goodkind would say
============================================
"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool."===========================

Though not only that but money. Money money money! Always a factor. It's like everytime someone makes money the bigger guy is ready to take someone down..Lets think about this. We had Columbine..Great a bunch of morons kept picking on these two kids because those two kids wasn't like the rest of crowd..Well hopefully the ones who was picking got what they deserved. Now it made no sense that the guys who shot up the school did what they did. It was totally stupid and I'm sorry for those who lost their lives and never cause those kids any trouble. However games was not to blame. Now we have the moron over in some other country who also loves violent video games..So what I do to..Doesn't mean I'm going to local police station for a shooting spree or anything. Hell I been playing violent games for years. I'll start once again with the Atari. That system had so many violent video games..It was plagues with violence..The only difference between then and now..Is graphically..But you knew then as you know now what you are playing..Point at the enemy shoot. Just as you would in Battle Tanks and just as you would now in Doom3. If games are the cause of these two shootings then why has it been since 1980ish that video games and violence have been around but only these two shootings and others shootings that have not been publicized all of a sudden the reason for games being the reason ? I DON'T EVER SEE ANYONE BLAMING THE ARMY THE NAVY OR ANY OF THESE OTHER BRUTE FORCE ACADEMY TRAINING PROGRAMS! Honestly sure blame games..But every year your so called programs for war is always being pushed on high school students..And yet always video games is your reason..Certainly there is money to be had..And the losers the ones those guys are shooting down are coming for the money..You mother..you need to be shot down as well for your mornic ideas. These guys was psycho without the games. Certainly the games had an influence but thats not the game developers fault..If you can't tell reality from the game then it's your own dam fault..As a study once said no one is blaming the poison company when a kid eats poison that is clearly labeled then no one should be blaming games and besides violence wasn't started in games..Remember it's been around for years and one of the most violent times in life is between religous beliefs..So as someone also said God is never on the other teams side!
Blame parents. Blame psycho's. DON'T BLAME GAMES..Oh yea and always blame Jack Thompson.
12:11 AM


Sunday, September 17, 2006
My life Septemeber 14th
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Well on that day I did a lot of sleeping. I also went to work. I don't think there is much more to say about that day. Oh It was also a strange day..As at work every Thursday is usually our busiest day except this Thursday was extremely slow..Finally the rain stopped. Gees that was annoying. But yes I came home and just slept. Sorry folks if I'm missing anything..But my memory isn't very good. I wanted to get this done on that day...etc but as you all know nothing is what it seems in Noloco land NEVER!


Oh also I got a call from an unknown number! Yes yes yes it isn't my mom..It's not Meg..I very much doubt it's a job..Damit! It isn't a job..Oh but the good news is that.. Well Zelda Twighlight Princess will be released in Nov! I was so tired that night I didn't even check the Ninteno Wii release date..But in my mind..I could feel they released the date. So next story I will tell you the rest.
Listening to Norma Jean-Bayou Network
9:03 PM


Sunday, September 17, 2006
My life Septemeber 15th Nintendo Wii release date confirmed!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
So I got the news that morning when I woke up for work that Nintendo Wii was finally released. I went to work extremely happy on that note. Not a day has gone by over the past few months that I have not waited for the release date..What makes the Wii so good is knowing that Nintendo got it's old fan base back and new fans..Partially in part to the fact that the Ds is such an interesting portable gaming device and that the Wii is capable of doing that thing your mom used to do when she played Nintend Entertainment System or NES for short. You know she is holding the controller and she is about to make a jump and what does her arms do they jump..This is now possible. Move your arms to jump and you will jump. Personally I don't like there being new or old fans enjoying Nintendo..Why they abandoned Nintendo for the longest time..Now they cry because Sony is charging 600 for a system and doing the same old thing..Nicer graphics same games..Nintendo is doing it different and for everyone. Your sister your mom your uncle,etc. But enough about that right. That day I went to work and I don't know I forgot to mention in Thursday but I'm coming into my I hate this job stage..The point where I just want to move on. Learn something new. I'm not capable of being mr permanent. I like to learn and move on..Bored bored bored..Annoyed. I guess. But though I'll cope with it..So long as no one else offers a better deal. But seriously it's not so bad..I just lately been enjoying taking the 15 minute break we are given in addition to our 30 which is usually all I take..But lately I been doing the 15 as well and calling Meg. So work was ok. Then Meg and I went to Kfc that night to eat..Some moron couldn't shut his dam cell phone off. Fortunately the law stops me from bashing his head in. We also went to Culvers for ice cream it was yummy. Later we went to Game Stop to get information about how to reserve the Wii gees 50 dollars. The system is 250..It's not cheap and in the end probably not worth it..But I want that experience of being at the store on release date..If I can't ever have it again...Thats fine..I just want it now..Especially with all the hype and knowing that Nintendo has it's fan base back...Just this time..Just to feel that experience..Never again..Unless of course I have better money later on. But besides the system I also will have to spend an additional 60 for Zelda and additional 40 for part of a controller another 20 for the other part. But I probably will only need one. Meg says we should get both and she is right. So that was Friday and it was a good day.
Listening to Flaw-Endangered species
9:13 PM


Monday, September 18, 2006
My life September 16th A Saturday with my new family people
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
So Saturday marked a day of boredom..Ok maybe I'm lying. Well to some extent. But I can care less about parties..Although Miss Beth Megs mother is a great cook and the food at the party was good. Megs brothers had their graduation parties. One was finish with school the other accomplished getting through the small potatoes of school. There was alot of soda. Which I did forget to mention in the last blog. I broke my soda strike again..Although It's still so far better then what it was and I do resist. But yes I also forgot we went to Pick N save Friday and I also got a soda there..But the first break was sneaking Megs soda cup for some strawberry soda and then PNS for some creme soda..But the creme soda was 25 cents and earlier Friday I did resist. Although today Saturday Megs brothers party had a lot of soda and at first I wasn't and then I was like oh well lets drink it up..So I did but I didn't bring any home..So otherwise I'm ok. And I didn't over do it..On a normal basis I would of drunk more then I did but I also drunk a bottle of water. If that did any good. We had a good time and before the party I reloaded my bombs and my arrows on Zelda Wind Waker..Now I'm ready to kick some... After the party we went to Wal-Mart..What a GREAT selection of shower curtains Wal*Mart has I tell you..Well ok maybe not..But now I have the whole world in my bathroom what you know..Who would of known. Thats just great isn't it ? Well see we decided all the other shower curtains sucked. So we went the global map..Now I can look at the world while I'm straining to let little poopster out. Amazing right ? So after the grocery and things buying spree at Wally world. We was going home..But I found Megs friend at Wally world..So I told them it would be fine if we all went to Pillllars so they could talk and I could get a piece of that ...No I mean so I could get some jerky and say hello to Mort..There was a great band playing when we went in. Later we came home and thats the end of that.. I did work on Wi-Underground thats www.myspace.com/wiunderground. The end.
Listening to Nevermore-Heart collector
12:05 AM


Monday, September 18, 2006
So I tried making this one on the actual date..My life. Sep 17 06.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Though Meg is my college coed and she needed to print and unfortunately I never set the printer up for sharing..Which reminds me. It needs to be done. But today I woke up late. Cleaned our dirty shower..Looked like someone sprayed kool-aid all along the rim of the shower in one area. It was slimy and nasty..Some type of living thing..Anyways so that was cleaned and I put up the shower curtain. Hopefully that crap won't come back..It annoys me. Then I went out to do the mind numbing boring application applying which never leads anywhere. Just a waste of money time and gas. Though I did..Maybe it will lead to something. More then likely not. It was rather a new experience today though. I brought along my new Years of fire cd..Which was skipping in my crappy cd player and kick ass in my portable player. But yes I played music as I filled out apps. I only applied at Ponda Rosa, some grill place,TGI,Red Lobster,Carabba's Grill,Olive Garden,Star Bucks. Well what fun...I wish there was a website..Where you just laid out your  experience ssn dob phone num,etc and then when a company needed you..All they needed to do was to go to that database of names and choose the workers with the right qualifications..But that would never work. Or maybe if we lived in a world where all jobs was connected to the internet. Then you could choose Wisconsin/Milwaukee/Jobs. Afterwards you could choose your type of work interest and the job you wanted. Submitted your info and then they would hire you..None of these waiting games,etc But yes so I went apply for jobs. I came home..Well I rented Super Monkey Ball for the Ps2 It's a cool game and Meg locked herself out of her car..So distracted by her lover boy..Some gas pump attendant ah haha. But I got her to finally leave and we came home. Meg made a great supper. I watched Dl.Tv. Downloaded some new episodes of the show and downloaded some new episodes of Naruto. Great anime series. I also watched some show on tv..It was new but it was good about this married couple and their new neighbors. As well as Family guy Then Meg realized she forgot to take her pills..Ooops so we rolled to the store to get the baby killers. Now we are home and Meg is waiting for me to go to bed..Which I'm now doing.
12:15 AM


Wednesday, September 20, 2006
My life Sep 18th. Even some cops are like people who break the law!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging

All days start off with work
===================================

On the 18th I went to work as usual and came home as usual.But I'll start off with my quick at work story. So I was at work doing work inside or can't recall what. But I see a cop and he is walking about outside..This guy parks clearly in front of a no parking no stopping sign..Honestly I would think a cop of all people would follow the rules..But no they park in Valet only spots all crooked out of the line and this..As I said some cops..Not all cops. But so that happens and I had to tell him how to park..Like telling my niece that she can't throw trash on the ground..It's good to know when someone actually asks me where to park or actually follows directions parks how are where they are supposed to some people are annoying. Some are just as some people who break the law. Only wierd thing is that cops are supposed to protect and serve....

So then I went home
===================================
  That night Meg and I went to Starbucks because she had got her 25 dollar gift card..Ok so in reality she paid for it..But disguised by M&I Credit card company we got it for free. Makes sense ? Never mind. Well we also had 2 items free for Taco Bell because they forgot Megs item the other night and we had to go back. So we roll to Taco bell that night after I ate a big bowl of Megs great cooking. Oh and it was the first cold night..I got to wear my coat..I like wearing my coat..It fits well and just looks good with my clothes..But yes so we are at Taco Bell I got a chicken bowl and Meg got her SUPREME! cRuncH wRaP thingy..It was yummy. Um besides that I mean dishes sleeping bathing..Can't think of anything else. That is it then.
5:14 PM


Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Sep 19th. This guy acts like a child. But he was like 50...
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
Work work work..Hi hoez off to workz I goez!
So I went to work..Wow! I'm at work another day toodoo doo...But we had our busy moments and there was a lot of customers using crutches asome customers needing us to get wheel chairs for them..Lots of cars needing to be parked. What oh what is a guy supposed to do ? .Some of those people who are capable of walking and moving with quickness must think we are run a hotel..No concern about the customer who needs a wheel chair or time/accomadation to get out their vehicle..No FU..@$$ patience..Some people are total morons. We work at a hospital not a hotel and though we are known for fast service we can't drag the old people out their cars and tie ropes to those on crutches to get them out your way because you can walk. Now with that said all customers who are in labor/someone in the family died..I totally understand. You are welcome to cause total confusion amongst our guest and our workers. I'll be happy to help you and quickly..But that wasn't the case this day. As I said some people think we work for a motel and that they are on vacation and need to get to their room. Sorry pal this is a hospital. So we have these cars on the ramp..Thats what we call the area where you pull up. Not really a ramp. But there was about 10 cars all lined up like a traffic jam and worst some customers getting out slow. Not that it's their fault..But tell that to the morons. Finally I get up to one customers truck and he is a smoking away. That's fine..But we work for a hospital not the Rave in Milwaukee where there is a lot of smoking. I patiently and calmly tell him there is no smoking here at the hospital..Of course as the better percentage of smokers. He felt it was his right and freedom to smoke away..Thats fine..But not here sir. Anyways I tell everyone something like this..... Sorry but there is no smoking allowed here. Please dispose of it properly and don't throw it on the ground..Well before I could even get to that point It ends up on the ground. Thats when I asked him politely to pick it up. I mean if it's a piece of paper or something that wasn't discarded by the hand of another person with no concern for the enviroment. Just some random item that may have fallen out. I would of picked it up..But It wasn't. It came out it his dirty smelly mouth..Not to mention that dirty vehicle he drives..But thats another story..So I ask him to please pick up the bud from the ground..Now he is callling me the police and if I want to work for the police to join the force...Wait stop hold on..Where is the dictionary. I didn't push this topic..As I was busy..But in the technical sense I supervise therefore I police..I need not join any force it is my task to do so..So let's focus on this definition of police and maybe if he has any issues next time....I'll gladly hand him a copy..Sense he is to much like a 2 year old and can't figure out how to dispose of trash properly.

So here is the definition. At least for the better part of what I do. As you will see here my job as Captain of the ramp is to do as this says and therefore Mr. man who can't define and must act like a moron/ or my little niece who didn't know better but was taught better by her uncle..As he needs to be taught..Fu#$ total slob!

3. the regulation and control of a community, esp. for the maintenance of public order, safety, health, morals, etc.
4. the department of the government concerned with this, esp. with the maintenance of order.
5. any body of people officially maintained or employed to keep order, enforce regulations, etc.
6. people who seek to regulate a specified activity, practice, etc.: the language police.
7. Military. (in the U.S. Army)
a. the cleaning and keeping clean of a camp, post, station, etc.
b. the condition of a camp, post, station, etc., with reference to cleanliness.
===================================
My life at home

That night the 19th yesterday we was going to watch hear no evil see no evil with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder..Well I had another big plater of Megs good cooking and Meg had an idea to go to Star Bucks to buy drinks for us both..I would of went but I didn't want my food to be cold. I sat down turned on the tele and was watching something on pbs about Einstein and when Meg came in it was so sad but she dropped her drink onto the floor..Man that drink was all over the place. ALL OVER! So I got a bucket and a rag/towel for those who call it towel..Then I cleaned it up with Meg. We both cleaned it up. I then offered to go alone and buy her another drink with the tip money from yesterday. So I did. I came home and after that we both watched the movie..My drink though was melted..Which is cool. I rather see Meggie happy. But so I took milk since it was extremely sweet and drunk it like that..It was good. We was watching the movie..But I couldn't see the screen well since it was on the laptop lcd screen and I wanted to be wrapped up laying all over Meg..So I went to sleep..All wrapped up on her..Felt good. Then the movie was only an hour and half..We went to bed and I was feeling sleep so good. I feel that I was going to sleep well..But then we "played a game" :D Afterwards lying there calm the two idiots who are always outside my window fighting and bickering was at it again and his ditz g/f was blowing the horn at 11pm at night..The other night he was beating on her at like 4am drunk..This night she deserved a beating..I mean honestly this is an apartment complex not your house in the country. But so Meg and I was bitching them out and I was telling them to break it up already..But anyways after all that bs It was hard to sleep because I wanted to break his skull for pushing on a women..She didn't deserve that no matter how much a moron she is and I wanted to scream at her for being a moron and blowing the horn..Finally went to sleep and I'll tell you the rest today :D
5:25 PM



Monday, October 02, 2006
Jesus isn't real and here is why..He was weak..Ok no really.
Current mood:  blah
Wake up! Censored for views against religions.

Well I was in my car the other day after watching the mass confusion about abortion as people held signs saying abortion kills blah blah love god blah blah abortion is killing a baby and this and that and of course all bs and lies..But lets get to what I'm talking about. At least a misconception of reality.

So there is this on going story about Jesus and how we was put on this cross and died for our sins..You know that story..About Jesus the freak..Yes he was like me..Well except that he actually supposedly believe he was going to a fairy tale world in the sky..Of course but don't all people feel that way ? At least the Jesus America wants you to believe was white.Jesus WASN'T WHITE! Now thats said..He was still a freak..I'd even say Jesus was possibly a goth..No maybe thats going to far. But I mean people hated this man..Hated his views. Hated what he stood for..Not everyone though..But a majority thought this man was mad..

Thats where I got to thinking. So now Jesus was beaten. Jesus was hung on a cross. Left out in the sun for all to watch and pick on..Jesus was left there to die. Ok fine..So his death came and certainly came quicker then a month. But what really pisses me off about this story about Jesus is that people fall his story and say well you know Jesus died for our sins. Fine fine..I mean seriously fine. But I have a problem. This  story is terribly flawed! See you the majority say I love Jesus and Jesus was real I mean he suffered for our sins...SERIOUSLY! Jesus had a quicker death..Jesus was nailed and was tortured. But Jesus had it easy. Well easier then say a little girl who was raped by her father and then told oh don't tell and that was nothing..But then when she comes to the age of knowing it was wrong even worst she is being told or threaten to be killed,etc. Worst once and if she can manage to prove he was wrong..She will live suffering for the rest of her life with those images. Those thoughts..This doesn't have to be one girl. This doesn't have to be a rape by a family member. But you have to realize it isn't just raping. There are many things that goes on in this world..That pretty much makes Jesus death a small minor moment..Honestly if you feel Jesus Paid For Our Sins Because He Loves Us. You honestly are messed up. Think about that for a moment..Think about your loved ones..Think about someone being raped and having to leave with that mind torture..Think about that. Think about going to bed knowing that. Worst of all you abortion hating idiots. You are trying to say it's fine to allow someone to rape your family members and then concieve so be it for the father..WTF ARE YOU ALL CRAZY! Thats like not trying to quarantine a virus..Idiots..Your rereleasing evil..Seriously it's called genes... I want you all to let this absorb into your thoughtless minds. Because this is insane. If you think the minor issue that Jesus went through compared to someone who has been raped is a cause to believe there is another world beyond here..Something is honestly wrong with you..Though I wouldn't blame you.
10:12 PM

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I stopped writing about my life.
Current mood:  blah
Category: Blogging
I didn't want everyone to know how boring my life was. Or maybe there was part of the story missing...In the end it wasn't worth writing..Ok so the real truth is that I have to much going on in my life to worry about finding time to squeeze in the same old story with some changes everyday.
7:22 AM


Tuesday, October 03, 2006
My life blogs if you want them to exist. Say I. or Yes or hey dam I'm nosy!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
So I decided I would make sure to please you all with my life..If you actually do care to read about my life..But if you don't then no worries. Who cares. Besides I have approx 118 friends..If you take out the profiles that do not count. Including Mr Tom ha :P Out of that a very very small percentage read these blogs or some of the blogs. Though reading is choice of your own. So read if you wish and if not so be it.
If I do go back to writing about my life it will be on a varied basis. Depending on the time I have to do it. Which I continue to optimize and improve on daily.
5:21 PM

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I've decided to not write about my life. The real reason. No jokes.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Yes I still will write about my life so long as someone says I should.


Though I'm rewriting about not writing about my life..Because obviously my jokes were taken as being serious when in reality I was joking. Though I did state the real truth is..Anyways.

So I've currently decided not to write about my life. Personally I do not have the time to sit here and write about my life. I do not by any means have anything to hide from anyone. I did have those blogs set to friends. Because I didn't feel the better majority of the world needed to hear about my life. Only my friends..Since they are the ones I care to let know what is going on in my life. Considering they are the ones who might be interested. The words I used to convey my views on why I decided to stop writing was only a mere joke..A funny moment..But it meant nothing. Well I hope that clears it up..If not here is a list check.

I wasn't going to write about my life.

I have nothing to hide.

I'm just busy.
Currently listening:
One Cold Night
By Seether
Release date: 11 July, 2006
5:27 PM

Monday, October 09, 2006

Being yourself isn't completely possible. Writing/ranting Censored
Current mood:  crushed
Category: Writing and Poetry
I'm not editing it and yes I've repeated myself..But I'm bored and pissed at the world I live in as well as myself and fucked up reality I continue to feel I'm locked into.

I want to be myself not your fucking puppet
I'm tired of being part of your slave labour
Fucked up America under the Gods of money
Bending ass backwards to be fucked
Every fucking success is a deeper fucking hole
Burying myself beneath your full shit beliefs
Who wrote these fucking rules
How I live
How I fucking work
Who demands me at their command
No respect just their puppet
Smiling and being social
All fucking bullshit
I'd rather sit and dwell in my pity
Wake up and smile it's another day
How is your day ?
Tired of these stupid fucking questions
Bother someone else
You know dam well your not getting the answer you want
It's another fucking day in misery
Thats the answer I'd love to give
I'm not part of your fucked up life
I'm creativity buried by the hands of the rich and pretty
I don't want to be apart of your smiles and handshakes
Fuck your dumb world of improvement
More like a world of knee deep in enviormental hell
Where abortion is casted out by those oh so loving religious people
Who can't get a clue the world is going to hell
As they raise of their loving churches and fuck their lovely wives
While the preachers fucking their son
But it all comes back to the reality I'm in
Nothing gets better it's gets worst
Building up this fake empire of possesion
When nothing is owned and that which you own is
 fucking taxed or some how required fee of some sort
At leat I have my creativity which is constantly being shut out
By all those controlling my fucking world
Breaking me into their mold of pretty happy
Because everything is great in this fairy tale
Where being in the suit and tie is smiled upon
But the hard working man is beaten down constantly
By the puppet masters
creating their fucking force of mindless drones
But I won't be owned by their fuck up world
Freeing myself of their bullshit
I live my own world
My writings,music and my voice holds me as one
One on my own and not for you
I'm not your fucking slave
I'm not your puppet
Keeping holding those strings
I'll keep pulling away
But I just seem to keep being buried futher
I will remove myself from your fucking world
I will become more then this wreckage of hate
To be one of creativity and open mind
Not of fashion and design
I'm fucking tired of this bullshit
I'm fucking tired of being molested by the masters
Just want to sit down quietly in peace
Writing or working on my own terms
Away from the torment and mistreament of minimum wage hate
Tired fucking tired of the bullshit it cause
The pain the misery it bring into relations and all the bullshit
I seem to be stuck in this quicksand
that which is stuck in this ever lasting slow motion scene
Where I just slowly keeping being buried
Then having to awake to another fucking day
Putting on the show for some other moron who offers jobs
But never puts effort into showing any other care to give the job
Jobs of bullshit and selfless stupidity
I want to be free from all of this bullshit
9:17 PM

That's why we should play the lottery, lol.

I love you, happy birthday once more :)




Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Is it really hard for an employer to actually pick up a phone once in awhile
Current mood:  impressed
Category: Life
I mean honestly. If I'm going to take my time..Which the puppet masters can care less about to go to an interview..I'd expect that It can't be that hard to just pick up the phone and say sorry loser I wasn't interested ever..Or why waste my time in the first place. If I go to an interview and you don't care to give me a job..THEN JUST TELL ME..I won't be offended. I understand I'm just another loser in a land of perfects..I honestly don't care. I am me and I don't care about you. But I will dedicate my time if I am hired to do a job and do it as I'm supposed to..But then these moron's can't look past a piece of paper that claims crap like hey guess what I graduated school woopeee...The better percentage of those who actually have don't work crappy jobs for the better part anyways..
7:26 AM



Monday, October 16, 2006
The blood, The Wine, The Roses... My Dying Bride!
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
The songs starts off like that. The Blood The Wine The Roses..Sounds so cool and eerie heh. Sigh I want my own copy. I can't get into the dam messages boards for some unknown reason at the My Dying bride message board and soooo the website says that the album is released on the 9th..But Best buy says no the 30th..I know it's out..Soo I didn't know what to do..So what is a pirate to do..Ah yes well you know Arr! Well I did manage to discover My Dying bride by pirating! Kiss it RIAA you lost. I won. My dying bride has made money and will make more from me on the 30th..However it isn't out yet..But so what is a pirate to do Arr!
The Blood, The Wine, The Roses.
Currently listening:
A Line of Deathless Kings
By My Dying Bride
Release date: 31 October, 2006
7:29 PM

Thursday, October 19, 2006
Arrr! Why can't companies make it a little bit more simple to apply!
Category: Blogging
I hate applying for jobs..Is it really that hard for companies to come to some agreement on a central website..Where you go sign away all your rights..Saying yes I agree to drug screens,background checks and No I'm not in the military. Never have and never will and the day I'm forced is the day I put a gun to my head. Then you could say hey I am not an illegal immigrant,etc I do not use drugs,etc. Here is all my information Yes I agree to this contract..Then from that central site you just choose the jobs you want and since you already signed away all your fu$%^ information for one central site you want need to waste your dam time repeating yourself over and over Worst of all is those stupid repeated surveys..FORCED SURVEYS! You don't have a choice..No all you get is strongly agree disagree,etc..Wtf is that..Let me voice my real opinion. Btw why do you need my job history shouldn't that part apply to what jobs pertain to the job I'm working at ? I mean who designs these ? Obviously the so called smart people who manage to sit in their office and make pretty decroations while banging their employees and I'm left to the task of this bs!..Lets not forget I am capable of driving a semi..Maybe I need to drive one into a store and tell them to get off their mindless drugs and recreate their stupid application process!
8:13 PM


Saturday, October 21, 2006
Banks suck
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
If only I had lots of money. Banks would never touch my money..Especially after last night. Personally I like my bank..As the middle man they allow me to do things quicker and faster but...There have been issues. The first two times on their part. Though now on my part. As yesterday I went to take 40 out of my account. I had enough money in my account..But they hold checks against me that I just went and cashed..Funny thing is that if I had brought the additonal check they would of cashed it..I already know how to fuck with their stupid system..But so I went to cash this check yesterday after earlier visitng the bank to cash my work check,a check megs moms sent me for my bday and a money order my mom sent. Well of course I don't remember every little bitch detail these people put in their 30 pages or more contracts. Though they wouldn't let me cash the check..AND GET MY MONEY OUT OF MY BANK ACCOUNT! Because they couldn't trust the other checks as of yet. WTF! I told that lady straight up I understand they have no confidence in those checks...But I've been with this bank for sometime and I have not caused them any problems accept for times like this..When they piss me off.. I CAN'T GET MONEY OF MY OWN OUT OF MY ACCOUNT! So I asked the ladies and it took them awhile to understand what I was saying..Even though I was clear with what I was saying. But I had asked if I used my Debit card if they would charge me to use it..Because I don't know anything about debit cards. I just own one..I'd rather just write myself a check when I want money..But so I asked her if I used the debit machine if it would give me cash..Of course it would..Wow. So they will allow me to take cash out the machine..But not from their hands..Wtf ? Well she said that their maybe a 30 dollar charge depending on my relationship with the bank..As in have I had over chargers,etc...I tell you what I never have accept when they messed up and if I get charged..I'm going to bitch at someone again..Banks are annoying..Please someone let me make money so all these high school educated morons can shut their mouth and leave me to my own self..I'm tired of these over paid sitting in their office people..What the hell!
My money is mine and when I want it I want access to it!
10:18 AM

Sunday, October 29, 2006
I know alot of links lately..Well here is my opinion on Firefox2
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Nice..Very nice. Spell checking isn't working in the blogs..Sad very sad..Guess we could always do up bulletin or some online editor before going into Myspace blogs..But either way..I'm not that bad of a speller..Gramatical errors maybe. :D But spelling usually isn't my weak point. Well they still have made the tabs create rows..Hopefully my extension to do so is still doing so..But there is a little button to see what you have all opened. Um Other then that you have the phishing protector which works for dummies :D But also for us the people who might make that mistake..Which I highly doubt..But I want dare say I will never. I mean it could happen right ?
So overall good. I can't stand they got rid of the word extensions when you go to Tools..But it isn't bad..It's just addons..Where is my extensions oh lets try addons..Whew they hid em..Ahh!
1:50 AM

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I walked out of my job. It's becoming an annoyance and a finacial burden.
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Blogging
Well not that It will be better that I walked off the job. But at least I don't feel like some mind drone. I slept long and wonderfully. But I quit work because of the bs there. Continuing bs. It never stops. They wanted to suspend me for making an assumption. I work as a supervisor..Or I did work as a...But A lady shows up and says don't lock the doors. I remind her we have to lock the doors. So she says ok but it's hard to lock..Well so long as we can lock. One of our experienced workers takes the car to park it..He comes back reminds me it doesn't lock. When she comes back later. I said to her You lied to us. Your car doesn't lock. She seemed a bit confused. I understand it was an assumption. But technically she is wrong. I shouldn't of said it. I know that. Thats an error. But isn't an exuse to suspend someone. We are getting paid here.  I said well if you feel otherwise I'll go try it out myself. I did. I went to the car. I did as he did. I tried pushing in the lock on the inside. It wouldn't budge. I tried pressing the button to lock it It wouldn't budge. So I then went outside..By this time I can see It already is a waste of time. I try the key to lock it from the outside..I couldn't lock. I finally get it to lock and I drive it to her. Now I did get it to lock..But I had to bind the key very hard to do so. I brought the car to the lady. I explained that I even had trouble. But did manage to lock it. If she wouldn't mind giving me a look at how to do it easier. She says no and off she goes. Next thing you know I'm being told I'm going to be suspended..As if this is school. So I said make it on a Mon or Fri...No they put on a Tues..Wtf. Well yesterday I just left as I was on lunch. I called up a few numbers and just decided I do not wish to be there anymore. It's like look. I don't park cars here. My job is to make sure these guys and girls don't get in trouble for parking cars with cars that don't lock. I have to put up with people lying about their cars not functioning properly or them not telling me at all and then having to remind them..Yes it's was my job to do so..If we didn't have to worry about all this bs. I would be at work today..But because some morons drive crappy cars and can't get their minds to function properly I'm stuck here. I quit because of the principle. It's stupid that I quit. But I refuse to keep loosing money on nonsense like this. It's a job. At jobs you make money not loose it..


I knew all along this job was nonsense..But I needed to buy time untill Dec. I will no longer bite the bullet. I will no longer work for such a company. But I tried.

When I first started. I had all my paper work showing I just did a background check. You know what they said ? Doesn't matter we have to run one. Unlike other companies..This one charges you 35 to do a background check..I know it doesn't even cost that much..But what can you do or say when you just got thrown on your ass with 3k in debt to pay. As well as someone at home to feed. Thats bs ? Certainly not. But I rode with it.
9:37 AM


Thursday, November 02, 2006

They should just call me Flow..I'm smooth like that.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
See those jokes with Amber..I wasn't being serious. I mean I was about her..But I wasn't being serious. It was a joke. So don't take that serious. I just notice that I'm quick with words sometimes..Though it's hard to not let it slip. I mean it seems sometimes I don't want to edit what I'm saying or feeling. Especially when it sounds to me really good. Maybe it sounds stupid or purely mean to someone else. I wouldn't lie..That was mean and Amber is my friend. I don't want to start anything..But maybe you all should call me Flow. I mean I do. I flow well with words at times.


Hidening inside of this poisoning madness again..I'mmm tired I'm broken I'm walking along with the dead...Will I ever feel like I once did....SO MAKE ME!
Currently listening:
Faceless
By Godsmack
Release date: 08 April, 2003
12:01 AM



Thursday, November 02, 2006
Why do I censor my blogs ?
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Well It's out of respect towards my friends. Those who choose not to hear those filthy words coming out my mouth. But most importantly it's out of respect to a group of friends I've come to know over the years who I have practically neglected but who have never let me down and have pushed me to write with periods and be more smarter and wiser in my writings. Instead of death and destruction all the time. Thinking outside of chaos sometimes is better. Sometimes writing without adding words considered bad is something I try my best to practice. When I write songs I also practice not using bad words..It doesn't help in all cases. But I try. Remember less bad words. Less negative feedback..Less hassle.
Currently listening:
A Line of Deathless Kings
By My Dying Bride
Release date: 31 October, 2006
12:21 AM


Thursday, November 02, 2006
So we was at the Olive Garden awhile back..Funny story.
Category: Blogging
Oh I been meaning to tell you this one for awhile. I bet you all will love it. I tell you. You will all LOVE IT!

So I tell Meg. "I'm going to the bathroom" Well I walk to the bathroom. I go inside..Hmm no urinal right here..None there..Walking..walking..walking..A BIG HANDICAP ROOM! Wow..So I go in one of the stalls right.I mean endless stalls..Something isn't right..I open the door ok.. I look inside there is this little like trash can sort of thing hooked to the wall and some tampon wrappers..Either the Gay folks are taking it to far or I'm currently in the wrong bathroom. So I realize well I'm in the wrong bathroom. I then walk out briskly right..Smiling laughing..Kind of in this childish daze..I just walked into a girls bathroom wtf was I doing..The guys bathroom was a litle to the left..Hidden. But I been wanting to tell you all about this..It's an old story from about two weeks ago..So there you go..
12:48 AM


Thursday, November 02, 2006
Censored. Godsmack :D oh friends only.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Music
I remember when Puddle of Mudd made that song. She fucking hates me..That song had so much radio play. As much as I hated hearing that dam song on a continuing basis. It was getting sickening. I mean look before you say oh you hate Puddle. I actually don't. I do like Puddle. But unlike Puddle. Godsmack had more to say and when he says I fucking hate you..He meant it. But Gsmacks song was more serious. I mean I think Puddles was to...But it was to catchy and groovy. Just reminded me of Amber. Sorry Amber you was catchy and sort of like that song. Nope I know your not reading this. But thats sort of what it felt like. But lets not talk about Amber it never lasts that long anyways..I mean though seriously. I just thought when I saw the title of that Gsmack song..It was going to be over played..Radio didn't even touch it..Not catchy enough. Or maybe because I don't listen to radio I never heard it. Who knows. I'll stick with radio never touched it. I mean the song was heavier then Puddles to. But t was also more serious. I just love it and I wanted to bring it up. Maybe I shouldn't of put the A in here..Eh I'll edit it out. It may get some chuckles. Who knows.
Currently listening:Faceless
By Godsmack
Release date: 08 April, 2003
12:48 AM


Friday, November 03, 2006
I would love to find a bag of letters to god.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2006Nov02/0,4670,UnansweredPrayers,00.html

Wouldn't it be amazing. I could scan all the letters. Create a website called I am God I'm here to answer your letters. Then I could analyze every single letter and why God didn't answer it..It would be a blast. I would even randomly post some here. Why can't I find treasure like this ?


Ps in other news.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_5112770,00.html

Some gay guy told on some guy who was against male on male banging. The guy against this was some big man in some religious setting. He also used some drug..You can read all about it in this link..I bet the drugs was messages from god or something.

I can't seem to understand why god didn't notice his gay ways first and told it to his higher up so they could kick that gay loving man out..I mean what a pitty.
10:22 AM


Friday, November 03, 2006
I want to apoligie to all religious people well technically.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
My keyboard isn't functioning properly as of late. So there may be a missing letter that ryhmes with bee....

Well I know sometimes I make rude or harsh jokes about religion. But as you all know anytimes I do post anything that I feel is of that nature. I make sure to censor myself. I just want to really say that when posting these various topics I'm not really trying to voice a hate speech or a hatred toward religion. I just am not the most savy at making conversation quickly written nicely. So it doesn't come off as being rude.

I will in the coming days be posting more posts that are going against religion. The past few days I've been feeling more negative or more open about my negative views on religion or more what I feel is negative about religion. I usually try my best to be the guy who doesn't bring up religion and out of being polite I usually don't try to speak out against things like god bless you and god save you and all the other things I hear people tell me randomly..While normally I'm quiet about it. I feel that if I must start. Now is the time to speak up. Why not ?
8:27 PM

Saturday, November 04, 2006
DarkDimensions.net The Portal.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
It's been on my mind for sometime. Personally I can't afford hosting two websites. But I think I'm either ready to switch paying for hosting for a poetry site that does nothing more then displaying poetry. To a domain that hosts nothing but music..However I'm not sure..Because I've always wanted a place to display my poetry..But what about displaying poetry and music..Or more ? Possible ? Dark Dimensions see it's dimensions..Soo in theory it could be more..Now why have not started putting the music up then ? It takes time. Time I just don't have and then there is the factor that if it would be my choice I would be putting up however my other domains. But still time. Lots of time.

But seriously Dark Dimensions The poetic musical portal ?


There is many times that I encounter people on the street that have the internet but either refuse to use Myspace or have no clue what is a Myspace ? Sooo to make things better it would be nice to say oh well come to..whatever website and you will discover music. :D
5:33 PM

Monday, November 06, 2006

Bank rant take 2
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
I was so tired I was calm..Well I think I would of got pretty angier if I had not asked the question I asked. See I pulled up to cash my check..Well before hand I knew my new checks would be a more lump sum then the ones I was used to cashing..So I asked her the lady how high a check can not be cashed if you had nothing in your checking account..It went on for awhile back and forth with her telling me no you have to have the same amount and me saying no if you have 200 you get 200 and you don't need nothing in your checking account and as well that this is NOT! M&I those morons. Well I didn't add morons..But I pretty much meant it. She then informs me finally after all this that there is a new policy this month and you can no longer get anything out of your account accept the amount thats in it..Well I gave her my account num and my id..I wasn't about to hand my check over so she can demand authority and tell me I can't get my money. Well Megs called and I told her about my situation and she said It would be fine that I should just put it in the bank. So I did. Sadly and truely. So basically you bring your check to the bank..Then they keep your money untill they can confirm that your money is valid money..WTF! Then you get your money..So now if I would of been working for my valet job still..Someone would of gave me that money or I would of been one pissed off person. I mean how do these people get away with that ? I mean is this even legal. A bank holding your money untill they feel it's valid..Can't someone verify that certain checks or business checks and certain checks or just stupid personal checks ? Honestly this is the problem with a majority of these "educated" went to or going to college people. They get in these groups..Make these policies or stupid rules that have no valid meaning and are not capable of making anyone happy.Especially us poor folk who do not have a college degree either because we got our high school diploma and was to poor to go to college or we just wasn't capable of finishing school because the educated morons ran the school system.  I don't even know why I have to deal with a middle man..The bank doesn't own me..Well technically it seems they do though It isn't something I control. Then you know I just want to have my job hand me my money..I don't like people playing using or taking my money..Once I have my money in my hands and I have my bills paid..I have no issue giving all my money to Meg. I just can't stand banks..I'm so glad I managed to pull out of there without being totally pissed. It could of been a very highly different situation..Well good news is that I'll get my new checks earlier though they will come as check deposit..Arr I never want to deal with that but I can't prevent it..Fortunately this job has it..I mean if I was still working valet I would be screwed.


So other issues with this bank ? Nope I never had any accept mistakes like this one and them telling me I was negative so much and I wasn't or that one rant about the morons refusing to give me my money but I was allowed to get by using the debit card..Stupid people.
  Currently listening:
The Light at the End of the World
By My Dying Bride
Release date: 27 March, 2001
538pm


Sunday, November 12, 2006
Schneider Training
Category: Blogging
My only time I ever felt I was good at something in school was being at the Schneider training facility in Green Bay, Wi. Then I could only realize why I was labeled, or deemed a slow learner in high school. Most of all I did there I was slower then others. Usually understood things better then some. I even sometimes was capable of getting a better grade. But usually slower and in the end I had failed, but I never felt out of place. I never felt I was treated bad. Nor did I ever feel that I was being forced to learn. I was open and willing and learned much. That expericne alone I am grateful to have had. Since I have had the internet. Im grateful to have this learning experience. I have learned many things, but have also forgot many. Unfortuantely all I learned at Schneider training I can not use in my daily life untill maybe one day If I ever try to attempt it again. At least then I'll be prepared. But now Im in debt.
10:56 PM


Sunday, November 12, 2006
Neglection. I have done wasted to much time,
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
I am many things. But mostly it seems I'm neglection. Neglection to many things I've come to love and do. Neglection to those I love and always hurt. Neglection it seems I am more then I am anything. Neglection always lurking. Neglection always hurting. Many know me. Many rely on me. Many things I've come to do and neglect others along the way. Some hurt. Some forget. Neglect It seems I sometimes forget it's not just others who neglect It's also me.
Currently listening:
Stronger Than Death
By Zakk Wylde's Black Label Society
Release date: 18 April, 2000
10:00 PM



Sunday, November 12, 2006
Schneider Training
Category: Blogging
My only time I ever felt I was good at something in school was being at the Schneider training facility in Green Bay, Wi. Then I could only realize why I was labeled, or deemed a slow learner in high school. Most of all I did there I was slower then others. Usually understood things better then some. I even sometimes was capable of getting a better grade. But usually slower and in the end I had failed, but I never felt out of place. I never felt I was treated bad. Nor did I ever feel that I was being forced to learn. I was open and willing and learned much. That expericne alone I am grateful to have had. Since I have had the internet. Im grateful to have this learning experience. I have learned many things, but have also forgot many. Unfortuantely all I learned at Schneider training I can not use in my daily life untill maybe one day If I ever try to attempt it again. At least then I'll be prepared. But now Im in debt.
10:56 PM


 Friday, November 17, 2006

Lmao Andrew Dice Clay on bench seats in cars..
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Censored

Lmao
Andrew says...
 Bench seats in a car Ain't it funny how they don't make that anymore ?
How come Cadi don't come out with that ? What I'm paying 70,000 for a car and for what I can't get my dick sucked ? Look at my car I got a sound system and heated seats but what I can't get my fucking dick sucked..Lmao.
11:47 PM


Wednesday, November 22, 2006
In school it's ok to lie to kids...America the beautiful. Happy Thanks
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
Happy what ?

"If you are going to teach, you need to keep it positive," he said. "They can learn about the truths when they grow up. Caring, sharing and giving — that is what was originally intended."

Why should you learn this ? This is a lie. This is wrong. This is shrouding the reality. Why not hate America ? Fine you don't want to tell the truth. Don't speak the truth.


I have a few articles I would like to share.

Is it a day of mourning or a day of happy thanks ? You decide. I know what my thoughts are.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061122/ap_on_re_us/teaching_thanksgiving

http://www.education-world.com/a_curr/curr040.shtml

The real history from a real perspective..Not some myth made up by a bunch of religious whites and their fairy tale world of make believe we currently exist in.

http://www.danielnpaul.com/TheRealThanksgiving.html

http://freedomkeys.com/thanksgiving.htm


I could go on but I think your getting the point if you dared read it..Don't worry I shouldn't of needed to break your heart for you to know the truth. As we all know the truth..It's deep inside. At least for me it is..Maybe I'm just weird. Because I've always had this hatred towards a lot of things and this welcoming day isn't so welcoming for me.



Ps this is what they would like you to believe..Listen it's all happy and stuff.


http://teacher.scholastic.com/thanksgiving/feast/index.htm
10:54 PM




Thursday, November 23, 2006
Reflecting upon what was and could of been
Current mood:  aggravated
Category: Blogging
Time moves and age quickly moves on. There are things in life that need changing. Expectations that I need to make happen. Life is short and I must move on. Driving tonight as every time I go down 41/45 is some of the worst drives home ever. Well ever since Schnieder National. Driving home seeing trucks and knowing so much about them. Driving home and thinking of what could of been. Not just in trucking. Driving home and realizing the reality of what I keep doing. Burying myself deeping into this abyss of shrouded darkness. Never making anything good of myself. Accept to those who are fortunate to know more of me then the stumbling down that continues to happen. My fixing of these problems isn't always easy. Usually and mostly my fault. But I'm afraid as well. I do wish to visit my family and friend in Louisiana and mostly because I hate to let down my mother. Though as some would know I'm good at letting lots of people down. But when thinking I hate thinking. I think to much maybe. But maybe not. I wish I could be out there driving around the US now instead of running around town wasting time and driving myself futher into this mess I've caused. But I think seeing and being driven into this chaos only makes driving more meaningful. To be one of misery is to gain that of experience to know better and to be better. Becoming stronger and making better of the situation. But to do so I have to over come this pathetic state. Though I don't wish you all to think it's all sadness and unhappy. I mean there is the beautiul Meg I have been able to hang out with over this time period. She is great to me and I try my best to be the same for her..Then theres Wi weather,movies,gaming,internet..But all this is material items and fun and games. It doesn't gain me a living. It doesn't make ends meet. It doesn't release the frustration between two people who are in a finacial pickle. It doesn't do a lot of what needs to be done. Bills need paying. I'm not this person I've been as of late. Though through it all I've still continue hoping for better and thinking more so. I just wish to be free of it all. Maybe one day. Who knows.
Currently listening:
The Possibility of Being
By Kevin Martin & The Hiwatts
Release date: 03 June, 2003
10:57 PM



 Sunday, November 26, 2006

Various writings written one late night Nov 18th 2006
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Writing and Poetry
Reaching grasping
So close yet so far
Arms stretch but no futher
Reaching grasping
Ending closer ending near
All is to fear Nothing to hear
Shhh silence this moment
Together here but why
We shall die if we shall fall
Below nothing to catch us
Nothing to stop us
As we reach our demise
Together here on this edge
Time draws to a close
I can imagine the adrenaline
Rushing quickly future seen
Bodies colliding toward disaster
Blood covers stains left
Death has come to claim
What was why when and where


Bleeding she lies there
Arms bruised by needles
Lost in a time warp
Memories consuming her
The one she loved lost
The one she loved killed
All to quickly he had gone
First anniversary all alone
Together they found one another
On a dark Halloween night
In moments they became one
She found him amusing and caring
He found her warming and kind
But now alone she sits
This Halloween night
Trying to let go
Trying to move on
But she can no longer
All hope has failed
She pushes the blade deeper
The pain is exciting
It's inviting
But she doesn't want to let go
So instead she ends the madness
This night isn't her night to die
She must move on
For him the one she loved

The watch shows time
Time that can't be froze
We all hear the sound
Even when none exist
Tick tock tick tock
It keeps playing over
In silence you are lost
Closed in this dark room
Forgotten you are not sure
Someone left you here
But you can't remember
If it was you or someone else
Alone you wait
Afraid and uncertain
You feel for what isn't there
There seems to be no escape
There seems to be no freedom
Your ending you feel is near
You begin to tear
You scream out but just as quickly
You are silenced
Panic becomes your only option
If you must die this night
You choose so your self
Right hand over mouth
Left holding nose
You start to shake
Everything begins to fade
You awake at home
screaming out
It was a dream
Just a dream
7:57 PM



Saturday, December 02, 2006
A sad somber day. Mrs. Marie Rudisill has passed. Aka Fruitcake Lady.
Current mood:  sad
Category: Blogging
I just personally want to thank her. Even though her time is passed and she shall never get this message. You Marie have given me many laughing moments here at the pc and now I'm somber without knowing you will never be seen on tv unless it's in repeat mode. You must of been a great grandma to a lot of kids. I wish I could of met you. I will read and possibly try to buy all your books. I would of learned to make FruitCake like Jay Leno and I would of gave you a hug and accepted you as my own. You was the coolest and it's sad you are gone.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/84890/marie_rudisill_writer_tv_personality.html
9:30 AM



Monday, December 04, 2006
Educate the children to question the elders.
Category: Blogging
What is Nolon ranting about this time ? I think it is correct that children is who we should look towards for a better future. I think that the U.S.A. could change for the better. But it is in the minds of the children of the future for this to happen and with the internet in the hands of millions I feel this is a possiblity. I am inspired by Penn & Teller mostly. But you know how many times I've mentioned things that make no sense in America. Though Penn & Teller got me thinking. We need to educate the children. The children need to question their elders and they need to be our future. They need to talk back in schools and the elders who usually disregard our questions. Need to learn a thing or two. But mostly the children need to wake the nation of it's lack of common sense. It's lack of logic. As well as many other things. I'm not saying there isn't anything smart or logical about many choices made by many Americans and others around the world. I'm saying there is to much bs that makes no sense. Though the lessons from our past doesn't seem to reach out and awaken our future. I think that kids having access to Penn & Teller,blogs,videos and so many other available knowledgeable sources. It is time for a change and with this change maybe we can become a brighter more logical and wiser nation. Otherwise we all will be stuck in this twighlight of religious hatred,drug lies,enviromental lies,etc.

I just want to see a brighter and better future. I believe that future is now.
Currently listening:
Infest
By Papa Roach
Release date: 25 April, 2000
8:53 PM

Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Penn & Teller. That was lame. 9/11 Debunk. I don't agree.
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
Usually when I watch Penn & Teller. They present evidence in a very factual manner in which to debunk or show that the problem at hand is well BS! However in this video I will post a link to of Penn & Teller they didn't bother to even look at better evidence. They pulled in the most lamest exuses for 9/11 conspiracy without even bothering to look at more factual/harder evidence..Penn & Teller I usually trust your words and now I feel I've become a skeptic..You didn't even bother to put effort into this as you normally would. It was rushed and didn't debunk bs.


Fine call me a nut call me what you wish..But please take some time and open your mind and look futher down the rabbit hole then just oh haha look some conspiracy nuts. I don't doubt there is. But there are many people that believe and work extremely hard to find the truth to 9/11 either it's our own people or it's not..But do some research before you claim bs.


In the end the last words said in this ep was the most powerful and truthful statement. I don't doubt it for a minute....It just sickens me that Penn & Teller didn't do better and open their mind..They seem to be very AMERICAN! Bleh.


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7501020220921158523&q=penn+and+teller


Ps if you wish to go futher and stop being all AMERICAN. View my Top 24 and click on Movie Time. Also check out the 9/11 Truth movement.
7:54 PM




Sunday, December 10, 2006
Inteligent designer Who is she/he/it Arrr
Current mood:  angry
Category: Blogging
Just more attempts to get religion in the science class. Honestly give me some factualy evidence that there is a god and I might possibly consider it. Show me something anything. Look I'll give you my thoughts. Just don't feed me crap.
I've always been a thinker. Ever since I was young I was think about things and usually wonder how they work. How are these things possible. Certainly I can look at a tv and marvel at it's wonders..But I know if I study and learn there is certain and factual evidence on how that tv works. There is no arguing that fact. But when you talk about some guy building some big boat to hold all animals and his family on..I mean come on. Not only do they make the story sound all happy go lucky and that they make it seem all possible. It isn't. How are you going to put every little micro organism every big animal and if you have two of each animal then sure you can breed them but I don't think it's possible that only two will make more and more..Something is going to snap. Forgive me If I'm wrong. But I don't think that will work. Sort of like the whole human incest thing. It isn't possible. It's not going to happen. You will have a few good and bad apples but your messing with genes and it's just a big difficult situation. Lets not forget some of these animals actually eat other animals and if thats the case then how is one animal going to survive if it has to eat the other or plants some need plants and some need water there just isn't any logic to it..Now the whole issue with Jesus or the guy who parts water. Can't recall. Your telling me this doesn't have to do with magic ? Your saying this isn't sorcery ? Oh those poor witches how you condem them to their death for practicing witch craft and oh the irony in this now isn't it funny and sacraficing your OWN people. Thats just mean. Look maybe I'm wrong and so gods going to send me to his evil lair where all bad people go for questioning the impossible. But hey you know I just don't like golden streets and happy people. They make me more sad then I already usually am. Considering it's so fake. So annoying untruthful. What bothers me more is that you have the smartest people in the world yet their brainwashed into believing this religious mess. I'm happy to say you won't find me following in your footsteps pal. What seperates some of us from others is we are not ashamed. I'm not going to stand around and say hey I believe in your Lord who hates some and loves others and answers some prayers and not others who casts miracles for some and not others..THIS GUY IS FULL OF HIMSELF! I'm just sick of it you know. Please people wake up. Think for yourself. Certainly you can break away. Do you people never have questions to ask ? Is it really that hard to determine that there is no gods or godess. I really people have lost their common sense and sometimes would rather bow their heads in shame instead of having some pride and asking a question or using that brain shoved into their head. Help yourself. I don't even know why I bother writing this. I guess maybe to improve or write something I might of missed or maybe hope that today will be the day I convert some of you. Yes I'll even say I would like to convert some of you. It would be good to be able to talk to someone without going in circles about why this religious belief exists. If your really in doubt about it all..Well this is proof enough. It's called faith..Look that word up and just think about it.


You know if I had a chance to change the world to not believe in relgion I would. I would have Meg preg with 20 children if possible. Those chlidren who teach in the school of nonexisiting religion and spread the word to others that it doesn't exist and they would marry others who feel the same as well as have 20 children each. Everyone would learn and rationalize and question faith amongst so many other topics.


Why do I hate religion so much ? You know that gut feeling you get ? It's always with me and something just feels to F##$$% evil about religion. It's like a rape a molestation a beating. Something which you can't escape from and your being told not to speak out. Not to question and never to doubt!


http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/12/faithheads_on_t.html
1:24 PM



Thursday, December 14, 2006
Blogging alone. Don't click it. You can't read it.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Life


Welcome home

Censored

disgusted by your hatred
disgusted by all given
nothing seems to fucking matter
everything seems to end or begin
in the worst fucking way possible
welcome home again
torn between what to do
and when and if it will end
uncertain about it all
thoughts playing in your head
on this paper where to begin
another fucking day
wasted all away
If not at work it's back at home
will this chaotic madness ever end
disgusted by this confusion
happy sad lost anger fucking stupidity
I'd like to watch it all end
Let it come down
Waves of all that has been built up
Inside it's not ok
Inside I'm hollow
Where did it all begin
Or has it always been this way
Lights not on wake the FUCK up
This cloud of happy lust love fuck
It's all dust or puke
Something spewing into reality of growing up
It's not what I wanted it's not what I believed
It's all wasted reality
Not something it once was or is it and was always
But where did I miss the train
Because it seems I'm stuck
And in the end I'm just always fucked


Bleh women sometimes can be a pain the fucking ass. I'm like I'm going to type this out. Then I'm going to bed. So as I was finishing she starts getting pissy..Well i fucking let my guard down and didn't realize I said it might take some time when it didn't take but a few fucking minutes. Well damit if I don't give her the key words she turns into some raging fucking lunatic. I'm signing out. I walk to the bedroom to ask where the phone was because she wanted it..Well she gets all pissy and is like no I don't want it now you said you would be right there in regards to bed..But I was I wrote two letters. One that bulletin I posted and another that said pretty much You are my friend and you better have milk when I come down. *hugs* That was it..Those two letters. I couldn't of possibly taken me forever to write that. So then I was trying to ease her and laugh and say no where is the phone but she wouldn't fucking tell me. Just kept being bitchy. So finally she turns over after not just simply answering the dam question or easing into being calm or nice. So I go lay with her thinking she would feel better and then I would go get the phone when she stop bitching. Nooo I go to bed and she is like get off of me get away leave me alone but I persist because I want to make her feel better but no she is bitchy and it's all over the most fucking simplest thing I was just going to get the phone for her and also well because when I say I'll be right there she really fucking thinks it means 2 to 3 seconds and It's like FUCK I mean damit. So then she gets up and goes prancing around talking about going to go sleep in a hotel and all this dumb shit and I go in front of the door and said your not leaving. Then she starts moaning about how I never give her choices. Thats just fucking wrong. I mean I went to the bedroom as I was going to and then I asked her where her phone was. I was giving her a choice not to go get it. Ok she didn't want that. Then when I'm by the door she said I didn't give her choices because I wouldn't let her leave. I offered her to sleep where ever she fucking wishes. The kitchen. The dinining area. Under the futon on the futon with the futon turned into a bed on the love seat....etc you get the fucking point and then she goes back to why we got to arguing about this and back and forth and I finally said fuck it I'm not going round and round and I kept resisting the whole time to be angry but she wouldn't let up and it never makes no fucking sense tomorrow she will be in love with me all over again..and this is what your looking forward to in a relationship DAMIT! So finally I just fuck it I kept giving her choices and telling her to go because she was really pissing me off but I was trying to keep cool. So finally I just laid down and so then when she finally realized I wouldn't keep playing her fucking game she finally left and then thats what lead me back to the pc where I'm eating my cereal and maybe I'll watch a movie and sleep in the living room where I plan to fucking sleep for the rest of my time!
9:53 AM



Saturday, December 16, 2006
I'm going to Louisiana. Eating me some cajun food. Mmm
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Just wanted to waste your time to tell you all that. Going visit my dysfunctional family and eat good food and be with my good friends and stuff.
1:35 AM



Sunday, December 17, 2006
I'm feeling good. Listening to Elvis. :D
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
Just wanted to post a blog stating that I'm feeling good. Listening to Elvis wondering about the trip to Louisiana. It's going to be cool. Sadly it can't be a trip around America to all the Six Flags are to visit Redmond or Seatle or to visit all my friends around the world. I am bored to though and windows keeps screwing up. Organizing all my files. Boy oh boy what fun. But the music is the best. Listening to a variety of stuff. Well untill I started this Elvis album. But I've played some Sinch,Kittie,Chimaria,AFI,Nickel Back, and uh some other albums. Oh Pantera,Non-Point,etc. Otherwise I'm talking to Greg and wondering what it's going to be like to meet Claw and Jedi. I want some Elvis dvd's. Ever seen Elvis on stage ah haha. Thats a mad crowd of women. I'm going to Sonic when I roll into Louisiana I'm going to get me some boudin and mm It's going to be great and we are rolling in on a weekday sooo no boudin shop should be closed otherwise I'll be mad!
I hope to sink my teeth into one of those wonderful taso sandwhiches in Mermentau..Mmm. See this is why I need to discover other places. I even am now thinking of going to Philly. I love cheese steaks and I mean Rocky is Philly and wouldn't it be great to hang out where Rocky did ? I mean seriously. I remember growing up me and Jordy watching Rocky. Good times back when. Now I'm old. Speaking of which. It is becoming odd. I feel that becoming 30 is coming way to quick and to imagine that 40 is after then 50 and I mean 50 is peak. After that your falling and tripping and forgetting..Wait I already forget and thats really bad now man by that time I'll be forgetting I have two legs. I want to play SimCity 3k and the new Simcity4k. I say 4k because IMO anything after SimCity is thousands..Thats how Will did it. I can't wait to play Spore. Going to be lots of fun. Great fun fun fun. I have so many games to finish and catch up on. Waiting for the new Kittie album. It's going to be great to hear new Kittie and I had those few songs I bought that you download with drm..ARRR I'll never do that again..Don't know where those songs went. Ah well. Just wish I still had them. Though this album has so much potential and so much to look forward to with the new line up that supposedly is very solid. Which is good considering Kittie has been through many members. Except for the main keys. Which should never fade. You can't have Kittie without Morgan and Mercedes. I mean what would Kittie be without that kick ass drummer and singer/guitarist. Without a Whisper has a new album coming out as well and lets not forget Otep. Thats going to be a great album as well. Well I should head off to bed. Maybe I'll accomplish washing dishes,cleaning the basement and washing clothes tomorrow and hey who knows maybe not. No I will try. I'm setting my alarm. Damit I just been working so hard at work and then coming home and it's work here. Oh well. Joy to the world right. I mean really lets all have fun but don't forget work as well. Night night folks. I know you probably are tired of reading and probably are tired of hearing me say your tired of this and that. So I'll end this now and thats that and nothing more I shall say so be it I'm out of here good bye.

But seriously listening to Elvis. This man made such great music. If I had a guitar I would learn to play some of his stuff. It would be fun.


ready set go and go I got a girl that I love so ready little teady ready I'm a ready ready to rock n roll she my rock n roll baby...ready little teady I'm a ready ready ready to rock n roll
4:46 AM

Sunday, December 17, 2006
DarkDimensions.net. An awakening of a new beginning .
Current mood:  amused
Category: Blogging
Just wanted to say though there maybe quite a delay. Expect new material and a new website look feel coming soon. Possibly Feb Mar ?

It's new subject will be An awakening of a new beginning.  because not only does it need one I need one. There is many things going on in life and a lot of changes need to made. So altogether Dak Dimensions has been a big part of my life and as such sometimes my words reflect my world and or the world around me. Together the website and I need an awakening.
5:16 AM


Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Merry Christmas and Happy new years to all my friends
Current mood:  amused
Category: Friends
So this will probably be my last post till Jan. I see next year as a very wonderful year. But then again It could also be troubling I really don't know what the future holds. Though I know it seems promising. Though usually for me what seems or becomes better always ends in tragedy. So we shall all see right ? In the end I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Even though I wish I could end all this happy go christmas bs forever. Though I can't so it's either sit and dwell or be merry with the rest of the world. Well I do hope to see the good lot of you in Louisiana but I'm certain I won't as usually you all are not home and though I have most of your numbers. I'm sure you won't answer. Ah haha. Just listening to Fear Factory right now and trying to get sucked out of this thing we call the Internet. If you own a Wii then please update if you are connected to the internet so you can have the nifty cool weather thing. Btw watch the InDigi ep it was very good. I have to clean up here and go down the basement and clean that up. A lot of various things to do and remembering to pack all my electronics as well as clothes,etc. Well friends have a safe and wonderful time and I'm sure I will not be gone more then a day as I'm addicted to thy internet and I need my daily fixx of Fark and Digg. What would the world be without news ? I mean and besides my mom won't let me leave Louisiana withouth fixing her computer or making her print work even though she will not manage to have it working for longer then I'm there because I'm not sure what she or they do but someone keeps screwing something up and I have to go fix it all the time heh. Ok I keep going on. But I just want to get it all out. Meg and I will have lots of fun wondering around in sunny Louisiana and our trip down will be just as fun. I mean we get to listen to preachers an crappy radio all the way down to Louisiana..But I'm thinking I'll rig up some mad crazy rig to my car so I can actually have a decent radio system..With some illegal mp3's huh huh. Yea what. FBI PIRACY WARNING DO NOT AND I MEAN DO NOT COPY THAT CD! AHHHH! Byee!

Currently listening:
Hatefiles
By Fear Factory
Release date: 08 April, 2003
10:05 AM




Friday, December 22, 2006
Don't click. Posting private. Louisiana trip. I'll open it later.
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Blogging
It can be hard to make communications sometimes with relatives when in a situation like that. I really do hope his father gets better and possibly together they will reunite and be good to each other. Hopefully. My time so far is ok..Though my phone company sucks because we are roaming..It's just stupid. Also it sucks that now Skype isn't free but at least it is cheap to use. Though my moms pc is connected to 56k So this is terrible. The trip was fun though. It was a nice drive even though I got turned around twice in Illinois heh. Long story. But it wasn't to bad and when we slept at night because we was in our car cops came and said no sleeping you might get robbed well obviously..But thats ok I only had 30 minutes left to sleep. Well I tell you the rest in a blog. Because as I see it I'm telling you everything in which I'll have to repeat myself later :D


But yes in all honesty it's going good and I'm eating some food my mom made last night which as always is great.

Meg and mom are chatting about my dysfunctional sisters....




Nicely done. I don't ever mind. How have you been ? How has the weather been ? Sorry for my lack of interaction lately. I'm having a good time here in the sun lol. But It sucks being caked in all this cigarette smoke.There are like 8  people smoking in my moms house and it's not really a house it's like this small cottage. I'll take a picture of the inside so you can get a feel for it. Though there is a second floor with one bedroom upstairs for them to sleep in. It was good having Christmas here with my mom and my family. I've been meeting up with a lot of my old friends and thats been nice. Well hope to hear from you and soon enough I'll be reading blogs/bulletins,etc and talking again .


Hear from you later

Nolon.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LETS FUCKING RAGE!
Date: Dec 26 2006 7:34 PM


Remix: (if you don't mind)

Your seduction is an introduction
to the corruption of my disruption
For you I must
It's what I lust
The breaking point
Of all our trust

Falling away
Gripping on tight
Letting your heart
kill me inside


~Elisa
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: I am In VP,LA
Date: Dec 26 2006 6:10 PM


Your seduction is my introduction
My corruption my disruption
For you I must
It's what I lust
But now all you are
is what I mistrust


Hmm I could work on this some more..But I had it written in my head and forgot some of it though remembered the first line. Well enjoy.



Sorry Hun

I know it's been some time since I replied. Hope you enjoyed the blogs. Sorry there was so much. Well you don't have to read them but if you like to thats cool. I'm visiting with my mom and she has a slow modem. So I usually just read my comments/blog comments/msgs. Otherwise I don't do much else as it is already really slow. But it's been fun. Just that my moms town the place I grew up royally sucks. I passed through Arkansas :P It sucks because to see a movie I have to drive an hour away and lets not even get on the subject about there being no place at all to hang out and worst of all no Star Bucks are any coffee shop for that matter. Terrible terrible. The only thing going here is the cajun foods. Smoked meat and other goodies. There is a new Wal-mart though it seems to me they just crammed the old Wal-mart down the street with a grocery aisle. Tisk. Either way I guess it's better then driving approx 30 mins to buy groceries at Wal-Mart out of town. They also got the spicy chicken sandwhiches at Mc D's and thats great because we don't have those in Wi. It's been nice hanging out with my little nieces and my mom and my other family. As well as all my friends. So I do hope to hear from you and I just wanted to know you have not been ignored. But that picture is silly and you need to change it haha.


loves and misses much *hugs* Your friend Nolon in the state below you :P
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Music Fr3ak
Date: Dec 28 2006 10:42 AM


I am not sure if i replied to this. did you want my phone number if so my cell is 1-501-428-2194 and i have night and weekend mins.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: I am In VP,LA
Date: Dec 6 2006 9:52 PM


So give it to me :D 2623055967 Thats my &#035;. I now have a fear I'm going to loose my friends on Myspace. Considering I've had this happen like 4 times. I wish to be ready for next time events.
10:22 AM